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Your lack of self-trust might be the culprit shielding you from thriving at work.
As the key to confidence, self-trust is often the missing piece in the list of soft skills we try to continually enhance. Unlike the common misconception, having great self-trust does not mean you trust yourself to be right about everything all the time.
Trusting yourself ensures that you are kind, respectful, and forgiving of yourself, regardless of what may come. Itâs the mindset that âwhatever comes my way, I will be able to handle itâ, which plays a huge role in facing adversity especially at work
What difference does it make?
When you donât have self-trust, itâll be very easy for other people to guide you through decisions and thoughts, leading to a form of manipulation which can be debilitating. Lack of self-trust also invites the presence of self-doubt which in some cases can turn into self-abandonmentâa state of chronically going against yourself.
Though critical to our self-growth and steady productivity, self-trust is often misinterpreted. To get things straight, someone with unshakeable self-trust:
Is independent, yet fully aware of when they should rely to other people.
Speaks with greater authority and carry themselves in an unapologetic manner, but not arrogant.
Realizes that they may be wrong at times and make mistakes, but instead of allowing themselves to be crippled, they learn from these experiences.
Learn more about the importance of self-trust in the full article here.
Signs of a low self-trust
How you treat yourself on a daily basis can serve as a sneak peek of how much you truly trust yourself. MBG Mindfulness has compiled a list of statements that you can identify with, as the first step to building your self-trust:
I compare the choices Iâve made to those made by others.
I find it difficult to finish what I start.
I hold in anger, resentment, or ill will toward â or I speak negatively about â those who I feel have hurt or harmed me.
I defer to others â allowing them to make choices and decisions for me.
Iâm prone to catastrophizing â i.e., Iâm filled with the constant expectation of failure, disappointment, or betrayal.
Find a total of 21 statements you can use to reevaluate your self-trust here. If you identify with most of these statements, you might want to check out the next section below.
Tightening your self-trust core
The truth is, reading this Monday Mavens edition one time wonât help you build a deep-rooted self-trust. It takes repetition to build a habit and rewire your thinking. And just like with most things in life, there is no one-size-fits-all method.
In her podcast series, business coach Kylie Clayborne lays out what she calls âThe Processâ of teaching your brain to work for you, especially in times of self-doubt:
1st Step: Notice the pattern of where the breakdown of communication usually happens. If you say youâll go to the gym at 8AM, then itâs 9AM and you still havenât left, look at why? Do not make yourself feel bad but take responsibility.
2nd Step: Re-commit to doing what you set to do. Be in integrity with your word, and you can even physically say it as it sends out a completely different energy. This way, you are connecting the action with the thought.
3rd Step: Expect the discomfort to come. While planning, youâll get excited, then self-doubts and discomfort will start to arise. The golden mantra: âRight now is the time that I will .., because thatâs what I said I was going to do.â
Relationship coach, Jordan Gray, on the other hand, has also compiled a list of more practical exercises you can do to build on your self-trust:
Honor and give space to your emotions
To start out, once per week, carve out an hour or two to just be with yourself. See if thereâs any emotional residue that wants to move through you.
Make a physical list of your strengths
Take out a piece of physical paper, and write down at least 50 things that you like about yourself. You can include your achievements in there, too.
Work out your problems a different way
If you have a habit of going to others for help, try looking internally for the answers. If you have a hard time asking for help, try to lean on others more.
Respect your own opinion as much as you respect the opinion of others
Give more weight to the truths that come to you from within yourself. This exercise relies a lot on trusting your guts.
Gather evidence of times that your decisions went well for you
Negativity bias is a real thing. You might subconsciously forget the times that trusting yourself went well, and magnify the times when it didnât.
Listen to Kylieâs full 15-min podcast episode on âHow to build unshakable self-trustâ here, and read the full article on Jordan Grayâs â15 Practices to Boost Self-Trustâ here.
On a scale of 1 to chronic trust issues, how much do you trust yourself now, after reading this weekâs Monday Mavens edition?
Hopefully weâve helped you amp down on your self-doubt and top up on your self-trust with the insights weâve shared.
Share this edition to your friends who might need it, and donât forget to subscribe for more free productivity tips your way.
Cheers!