Is laughter tolerable in mourning events?
I think, there is always an unwritten moral ethics for any events in our lives.
Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.”
― William Shakespeare, Macbeth
Hii, Buddy! How are you? Hope you're feeling okay. If not, I'll pray for your health and your goodness.
It's me from Artspace and today I want to talk about mourn.
I met my uncle the other day while checking my grandma's health. She is in pain right now. Her pain is agony, both for her and for her daughters, but I'm sure that both sick and healthy, God will bring out the most in us. My aunt entered the conversation said that my other brother was in hospital due to his health condition. He didn't have a child, but he had a beautiful and calm wife. I asked my aunt the complications my brother had, and opps, I think that's too complicated.
Later on that day, in the cold morning, I saw a post on Facebook. I saw my brother's corpse, it shocked me. I asked my sister to confirm about this news, turned out, it was true. I can't cry, it just sad to know the news early on beautiful morning. My father phoned me on 11.02 am asked me where was I and talked about the death of one of our family. My dad told me that I should go to their house, to see his wife condition and I said, “Yeah, I'll go.” By the way, in case you're confused about this story, I want to talk about our “partuturan” for second. He was over 50 years old, then why did I call him a brother? Because my dad and his parents are in the same lineage in our family, that's why I call him, brother.
I went to his house with other family members. I saw her face, his wife, my sister. I saw no tears, but black eye-bags and a painful smile. I couldn't relate to her feelings even though I've experienced the loss of someone I love the most in life, my mom. She lost her other half, her significant other, her soul, and I don’t know how does she manages her feeling. It must be an agony for her. Then, I got a chair to sit on and saw another extended family member. And talked with some of them. I love talking with people, because it allows me to learn deeply about human facial expressions.
What shocked while talking with other family members was seeing a bunch of people, sitting, talking, and laughing together. At first, I thought nothings wrong with that; perhaps, they hadn't seen each other for years. But then, a question come up into my mind which was, “Is it appropriate to laugh with friends while we mourn about someone's death?” I, totally, understand that it’s their right to laugh, but is there any unwritten ethics to rule mourning events? I don't know if there is, but we can act like there is one.
I went to the cafe the next day to research for the topics of “Attention Span’ and the thought of laughing in the mourning place is still incubating in my mind. I began to reflect those moments in each passing second. Humans are born and die across the globe; we're happy when a baby born in to a family and we mourn when someone die in our family. In the despair of death, I often see people discussing the good and the bad things she/he had done in her/his life.
The case I talked earlier, sometimes a grieving person who makes others laugh and sometimes it's just the guests who laugh together. As a person who has grief at 17-years-old, it irritated me to see people laugh in the mourn event. Or, can we say that mourning is another good moment to reunite with friends?
It’s hard for me to proceed when people say ,”that's how they cure their grief.” Of course, but not when the corpse is still there surrounding by other people. I don't think it's appropriate because there are many places out there where you can make appointment to talk or just to hang out.
I think, there is always an unwritten moral ethics for any events in our lives.
Well, you’ve reached the end of the story today.
That’s a wrap for today, thank you for reading. If you find this article interesting, please share this with your best friends, your partner, or other important person in your life.
Regards,
Melva Bintang