How can you improve your life: Keys to Personal Growth.
The influence of the fashion and entertainment industry is quite remarkable. We all like to be liked, and we like to do the “inn-thing”, mostly dictated by Social-Media and its projection of what is acceptable, trendy and the dominant influencer ideas. Better to be part of the crowd and liked, than left-out and disliked, and not part of us. Most celebrity followers are also obsessed, here it is, not with the person, but what they represent. It’s the dream lifestyle, the ideal it represent, the likeability of trends and new thoughts that challenge the status-quo and represent utopia, a kind of likeable heaven on earth - whether morally supporting the greater good, or not. The need to improve your life, or personal development, has also been fashioned around the image projected that suits the mass trend, without the necessity of doing the deep work of character building. But hey, who cares, as long as I’m liked, all is ok, is it not? But here is the catch, the pretence without the character and inner resilience will only last for the Instagram minute and Social Media update, that is until disaster strike, and lives fall apart and you find yourself lonely and struggling alone in the world. In this discussion I will focus on what personal and spiritual development really entail and what approach is most suited to impact your experience of life and improve yourself.
If you were asked, what has been your most meaningful opportunity / context for growth?
That is an interesting question and highlights the kind of self-discovery and personal empowering opportunities, or context and experience that had the most meaningful impact on people’s lives. Most people’s approach to change and search for personal and spiritual growth remains secret. And that is because most people don’t want others, especially on Social-Media to know, because just now it may look like I needed it, I’m week, and not the glamorous self-help guru I’m trying to be by quoting spiritual mimes for the sake of a following, you know what I mean? Research results, and in case studies drawn from my discussions with clients who do Self-mastery workshops, or enlisted for Transformational Coaching sessions showed several options, which they have either tried, or considered. The most impactful event, or experience that improved their lives are arranged below in order of superiority.
In-person interactive meetings with a spiritual / consciousness teacher or life-coach?
Formally structured and interactive experiential workshop intensive over a few days?
A wilderness getaway intensive, connecting with self and nature with discussions and exercises?
A retreat at comfortable resort as group (may have included other activities), while bonding and seeking answers/receiving guidance together?
A self-study correspondence course or book from the comfort of your own space?
Attending a conference, or speaker event.
This is quite significant, because we can attend an inspirational conference by any famous speaker that flashes empowering statements and emotional feel good jargon, but when it comes to the real work, dealing with those addictions, and anti-social behaviour, and the selfish attitudes that is ignored because of the benefit glamorous friendships represent, all is soon forgotten. When you alone in the world without Instagram and Tik-Tok, and facing challenges in life, building relationships will depend on how you interact with unfamiliar people, across racial, gender and cultural differences, and when the going gets tough, life soon becomes more than play acting. It is to do with the real thing of having the understanding that true inspiration is derived from that inner source that sustains us all. How to improve yourself, that is how to grow personally and spiritually, therefore has more to do with the inner stamina, resilience and character that will help you to stay focussed even when times are tough. It is also the mastery of depressive thoughts and addictive procrastinations, blame shifting, and suppression of ugly thoughts and feelings in order to be liked, but at night feelings cave in to binging, drinking, sulking, and the allusiveness of psychedelics, in order to cope with the stresses of life.
Is Mentorship better than a Self-help Approach for Personal Growth?
Why is direct interactive guidance better than a Self-help books /videos on Personal Development?
There are so many Self-help blogs or personal growth blogs available that you may get overwhelmed by information overload. That’s why Conversations for Transformation are so important as it will help you find your way through the fog of useless information on the blog jungle, and offer you a solutions and options that will actually bring about change, instead of only making you feel good for the day. And yes, I tend to stir the pot, and some of it will definitely not fit into a religious, or popular commercialised self-help framework that encourage money-making scams and systems. The truth of pursuing personal growth, and living a spiritually focussed life, is not about manifesting the things you want, or finding peace when troubled. All the things we actually look for in self-help books, workshops or the teachings of guru’s, is actually not about doing something to get something, but is rather about releasing the blocks that prevent you from experiencing the presence of peace within, and living that peace as an expressed manifestation of your dreams. Conversations for transformations is all about this process. Applied and actual transformational exercises and strategies, therefore, will involve several components that is not available through self-help books, YouTube videos, or present on popular inspirational podcasts, or slogans posted on social media. The most important elements needed to facilitate true life-changing experiences are listed below.
1. Mentored action steps: Although some self-help guides do list a few easy steps that can be followed, rarely are they relevant to the readers / viewers specific life context. And almost never really followed through by the reader that merely seek knowledge that will make them feel empowered. A personal development plan needs to be properly assessed for your context and objectives, and then structured with proven learning and strategic exercises that will actually stimulate improvement, instead of just making you feel good.
2. Mentorship: This is probably the most important element that involve encouragement and accountability. Without a trusted companion in whom to confide, reflect and provide the necessary disciplining, most people will drop-out and seek a reason not to bring about the changes needed for a transformative, life-enriching experience. It is also easy to shift the blame on your counsellor instead of taking responsibility for your own growth. For this reason most programs require a contract over a longer period of time, so that when the going gets tough and you disagree with the process, you are financially bound to proceed until a breakthrough occur, trust the mentor, they are the experts.
3. Actual Personalised Transformation. Much like a sports coach that wants to see an athlete obtain their best possible potential and to bring about meaningful impact, Your Mentor will nurture you to be the thought leader and ambassador of change that you are destined to be. Then again, it is all just about feeling good and getting all the things you desire for your own enjoyment, is it not? Then maybe a good self-help book is just for you. That is, until you face trauma, or a spiritual crisis, for out of distress, calamity and hardship true growth occur, and it is never intended to break you, it only feels that way until you obtain a different understanding. Many people are not willing to look deeper and work harder at the shadows of our lives to transform pain into strength, and fear into courage, simply because it is easier to wallow in your sorrows. True transformation doesn’t cover up grief and despair with make feel good statements, but resolve the underlying causes.
4. Experiential Learning. A Transformational Coaching approach towards personal and spiritual growth prioritise learning by doing. The benefit of having an expert mentor alongside that have been through difficulties and process of recovery themselves, is the assurance that they will know how to alter the course of action, when one process does not produce the results intended, like prescription medicine that needs to be adjusted, instead of one solution for all. Many get disillusioned when trying one process, and instead of discussing it with the Life-Coach or Counsellor, rather throw the book in the garbage bin, claiming the source to be a heretic. It is all a journey, and tracking without a guide you may easily get lost.
5. Global Community vs. Isolation. Here is the fact, being vulnerable and open to the input of others in our lives makes us secure. It creates a safety net of like-minded and supportive fellow travellers that understand that the journey may get tough. No-one said it would be smooth-sailing, and if it is, it is definitely not worth the effort. The unique models used for Transformational Coaching and Consciousness training prepares people to be agents of change first in their own lives, relationships, and then in their work and world communities. From your deepest despair will surface your greatest strength, purpose and meaning in life.
“Most people don’t want to be part of the process, they just want to be part of the outcome. But the process is where you figure out who’s worth being part of the outcome.” ~ Carey Lohrenz.
What are then the Benefits of Transformational Workshops or Personal Coaching.
We all like to claim expertise in some area or another. For some the meaning of life revolves around mastery of certain skills or expertise. However, life often presents challenges that push you beyond boundaries and outside of your comfort zone. When exceptional circumstances call for extra-ordinary effort to not only survive, but thrive, that is when you realise that extra effort is needed to develop personal competencies that will help you reach new milestones in life. Then again, many lack direction, vision and are not even aware of proficiencies needed to live in synchronicity with daily affairs and neither care about improving their lives. Most people in modern society feels lost and disconnected and like as if life can never slow down – and you’re constantly challenged to respond to some form of conflict or crisis?
While we all have ideas about how the World should change to become better - most of those ideas are unfortunately based on your personal preferences, religious norms, and cultural predisposition that will suit conditioned comforts and conveniences that only benefit your sense of security. The big question frequently surfacing in Personal Development sessions (and focussed on in most self-help books), is on the results gained in following the secret recipes, rather than on what you are becoming by applying the principles. Transformation is therefore more about the kind of person or society we are evolving into while developing skills, abilities, and mindsets? And we forget that true peace and happiness, rather than misguided success achievement, is not contained in what you beget, but in whom you become. It is only through the applied principles and practices of transformational teachings that true personal character is build, and improvement in your perception, and hence your experience of life, can come into effect. The unique journey of personal and spiritual development will require discipline, practice, and needed guidance, accountability and mentorship.
Personal development refers to the activities that one undertakes to improve themselves in a broad range of areas pertaining to mind, body, and spirit. Self-improvement is a journey that also takes time, commitment and consistency in your pursuit of clarity and mastering of some areas in your life, but it is worth it in the end. By exploring different dynamics of our human and spiritual development, either through a personal Life- and Transformational Coaching process, or doing a self-development course, you will find the answers for the solutions and progress you seek. Transformation is therefore a journey of introspection and evaluation, questioning the reasons underlying your needs and desires. By taking time out alone to reflect on your values, feelings, and thoughts, you will discover the structure of who you are, and help you make decisions that will serve your soul. Discovering your purpose is, therefore, not something you find out there, in your job, culture or relations, it is something that is inside of you. By aligning your activities with your core values will bring also bring motivation, inspiration and direction into your life. Results is consequently not about what you achieve, or obtain in life, it is whom you become when you align yourself with that purpose, and how you live your truth.
I trust you have found the brief discussion and the links provided beneficial. Should you still feel stuck, lost or confused, the solutions offered by Meta-Life Coaching and the Life Improvement courses presented, are suitable for new adventurous, young entrepreneurs and oldies alike, and can be customised to meet every person’s needs. Book your FREE introductory Life-Coaching assessment session either online, or in person at the Pinetown office (Durban, SA), by sending me an email request, or contact Martin on +27 73 439 9060 to make an appointment.
More info on the services offered can be found at: https://metalifecoaching.co.za
Trust to hear from you soon.
Dr Martin Brits