Hello, situation normies! I hope December is treating you well so far. But if December isn’t treating you well, I suggest writing to your member of Congress. If they can’t help, try screaming into the void. And if that doesn’t help, your best bet is to drown your troubles in holiday cookies.
Meantime, I’m excited for you to read today’s story. It’s a funny story, if laughing at another person’s misery is the kind of content you consider funny. It’s also a true crime story, but don’t worry, I’m not going to drag it out into a nine-part podcast. What I am going to do, however, is ask for your advice at the end. Seriously. I’m the victim here, and I really want to know what you’d do if you were in my shoes.
As always, thanks for reading!
— Michael
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