lately, i’ve been dealing with a lot of writer’s block. inspiration tends to fluctuate constantly, or my ideas don’t run very far. so i became a genius and decided, i’m gonna write about my lack of inspiration! (watch, i’m gonna run out of things to write about this.)
when i write stories, they tend to sprout from one piece of dialogue that i start to work around. and it works, but i’ve started to move away from short stories - and writing about my experiences and life through my own eyes instead of someone else’s. it feels more authentic to me.
but i’m also stuck in this stage where i’m trying to find what i like and what my style is, so i tend to take things from the media and people that surround me - and yet none of it feels true to me. but my own words feel like they aren’t poetic enough or powerful enough, so i’m trying writing like trying on clothes. some (most of them) are too big, some too small, some colors don’t look right on me, i look too different.
i truly aspire to be as good as my cousins when it comes to english - to be able to word and phrase and communicate everything they want to be felt, whether it’s straightforward or poetic. it makes me a little envious to see how well they write compared to mine, even if they’re all older than me. i have always been an overachiever in english, it is my one and only talent. but so are my cousins, they’ve all been accelerated, skipped grades, and exceptional writers. and i come to find that even compared to their work when they were as old as i, they don’t compare.
the way i get my inspiration, sometimes i find things i am passionate about, but it’s still…weird. like i won’t fit into what i write.
i hope you find some inspiration if you’re looking for some!