These are the instructions I gave the AI: “Write a 400 word description of Joseph. He is at a railway station. He is a pessimist. Use metaphors.”
What the AI Wrote
Joseph stood at the railway station, watching the hustle and bustle around him with a sense of detachment. He was a pessimist, always expecting the worst and never finding joy in the simple pleasures of life. To him, the world was a dark and treacherous place, full of deceit and betrayal.
As he watched the trains come and go, he felt like a lost soul, adrift in a sea of confusion and uncertainty. He saw the other travellers, laughing and chatting with one another, and felt a pang of envy. They seemed so carefree and happy, while he was weighed down by the burden of his own pessimism.
He thought of the journey ahead, and felt a heavy cloud of dread settle over him. He knew that no matter where he went, he would find only disappointment and frustration. The world was full of obstacles and pitfalls, and he was doomed to stumble and fall at every turn.
To him, the railway station was a metaphor for life itself. The trains were like people, rushing from one destination to the next, never pausing to enjoy the moment. And the passengers were like lemmings, blindly following each other, never stopping to think for themselves.
He sighed, and trudged towards the platform, feeling like a prisoner walking to his own execution. He boarded the train, and took a seat by the window, staring out at the passing scenery with a sense of resigned despair.
As the train chugged along, he thought of the many hardships and struggles he had faced in his life. He had always been a pessimist, seeing only the negative in every situation. He had never allowed himself to hope or dream, convinced that whatever he wanted would always be out of reach.
But as he sat on the train, something shifted inside him. He realised that he had the power to change his own perspective. He didn't have to be a prisoner of his own pessimism. He could choose to see the world in a different light, and find joy and happiness in the simple things.
With this newfound realisation, Joseph felt a sense of excitement and anticipation. He was no longer a pessimist, adrift in a sea of despair. He was a man with a purpose, ready to seize the day and make the most of every moment. And as the train pulled into the next station, he stepped off with a smile on his face, ready to embrace whatever life had in store for him.
So What Do You Notice?
The AI knows how writing is structured. The character arc follows a journey.
We are introduced to the character,
we get a physical description,
we move to the character’s thoughts and feelings,
and then there is a ‘shift’ in ‘perspective’.
The ending looks outwards, and forwards into the future.
It’s a really simple 5 step formula. One anyone can easily follow.
And, though I asked the AI to write a description, this could equally be a story. No events happen, other than getting on and off the train. But there are plenty of events in the character’s thoughts, there’s a clear beginning, middle and and. So this answer will also answer the story question.
Did you spot all the literary techniques? I found the AI naturally associates simile and alliteration with description, but is more reluctant to use metaphor. That’s why I had to tell it to do so.
What Stops it Being a Full Mark Answer
Well, AI hasn’t read the mark scheme!
So, it has intention of varying the punctuation just to prove it can use a colon.
It also isn’t afraid of cliche. Some of it is not very original.
Another way to stop cliche is to try to start each sentence with a different word.
But these are small problems, which you can easily correct in your redraft.
What Grade Did it Get
I graded this at 19 out of 24 which, coincidentally, is where grade 9 starts in the mark scheme. The good news is that you don’t need to write awesome description for grade 9 (which for me is also the bad news!)
My video showing how I graded the writing is here: press play!