Compare How Poets Present Conflict in Exposure and One Other Poem
Brilliant essay from Joseph Bellamy.
In Bayonet Charge and Exposure both Hughes and Owen portray their views on war. Both poets seem to mock the nature of conflict in war, using themes of pace and patriotism to convey their views. Owen uses his knowledge from his first-hand experience of World War One, whereas Hughes narrates from a third person viewpoint, possibly inspired by the role of his father in the war. (1) Level 2 AO2 The examiner isn’t impress yet because the thesis statement doesn’t explain what the poets are trying to show or make us think. This is context, but because it isn’t linked to an interpretation, it doesn’t score a high mark.
Both poets use opposing aspects of pace to convey their ideas of conflict within war. In Bayonet Charge, Hughes appears to start the poem 'in media res'. Through doing this, Hughes portrays the active conflicts in war, where no matter the moment there is always conflict and violence, emphasising the vile experiences of war for the soldiers, who battle night and day for king and country: "Suddenly he awoke and was running- raw/ In raw seamed hot khaki". (2) Level 3 AO3 There is some explained comment here about the context of war at the time it is set.
Starting with the adverb "suddenly” creates immediate tension, implying that conflict in war is inevitable, as even in sleep, war disrupts you, implied by the verb "awoke". Through this verb, Hughes implies that the horrors of war are infinite and even affect you in a state of peace, a state of relaxation, sleep. The inevitability of conflict is perhaps a rather fatalistic and nihilistic* view. (3) Level 4 AO2. Examiners love it when you zoom in on an individual word in your quotation and make it relevant to your interpretation of what the poet wants us to think or feel. So now the examiner is convinced this is ‘clear understanding’ of the poet’s viewpoint.
Furthermore, this verb could also portray how in war, expectations are overturned by the conflict, so the way the reader is dropped into the poem in media res, not knowing about his sleep, but only his waking, could convey how Hughes believes that in conflict, there is no time to even rest or sleep, as life is dominated by war and violence. (4) Level 4 AO3 The examiner is treating this analysis as evidence that Joseph is dealing with the context of war.
This could be further supported by the adjective 'raw’ which is repeated twice within the space of three words. This repetition suggests the soldiers are not prepared when they go into conflict. Perhaps this acts as a metaphor for wider society, showing the detrimental effects of conflict. These are further reinforced by describing the 'khaki' of the uniform as 'hot', symbolising how war makes everything hostile, even the uniform that represents the side you are fighting for, may foreshadow the futility of patriotism, which is explained later in the poem. (5) Level 4 AO1 references to the text. The examiner waits to see how many references there have been. Even though Joseph has only looked at one quotation, he has analysed 5 individual words in it.
As you can see, the examiner moves gradually up the levels – after all, an essay can’t instantly be ‘thoughtful’, ‘developed’, or ‘convincing’. That’s why points make prizes – the more points you explain, the more thoughtful your essay is. The more these points are linked together, the more ‘convincing’ the essay is.
Every week until the 2023 GCSE exam, I publish a fully marked essay for paid subscribers. That’s where you’ll find the rest of Joseph’s grade 9 essay and, every week, so much more.
I disagree with your teacher Subhan; as an English teacher, I can confirm that Mr Salles' "Grade 9" analysis are pretty awesome, and I use them to inform my own lessons, and my students really enjoy them and learn.
I’ve shown this and a previous essay (poppies) to my teacher and she was bamboozled that you graded them a 9. Perhaps she’s a harsh marker but she doesn’t think that those responses fit that top level criteria. So far she’s only marked one of my essays as full marks and a lot of effort went into it.