Hi Mr Salles,
This is the prompt I told Chat GPT: Mark this response for paper 2 GCSE AQA English language question 5. Give me a mark out of 24 for content and 16 for spag and an overall grade. The question is to write an article in response to the statement “Heavy users of social media are less happy and have more problems at school and home.”
Student Exam Answer
Social media or reality?
Scrolling endlessly through your ‘for you’ page on Tik Tok, unconsciously clicking the like button on every Instagram story you see, staring heedlessly at ‘Squid games’ on Netflix until your eyes pop … Nowadays, it is undoubtedly clear that people are fixated on social media more than ever before, with a recent survey carried out by the university of Harvard revealing that 54% of people have a screen time of over 3 hours. However, 49% of them have a weakened mental state and experience more problems (psychologically and physically) in their daily lives - the reality is far from photo-shopped images and petty dances.
’We compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s concealed publicity.’ It is undisputed that social media holds a critical role in teenage insecurity, with a recent study indicating that 73% of young adults are insecure about themselves; whether it's their body, diet or beauty. Consequently, a growing percentage of teens suffer from social anxiety, depression and a lack of confidence in their daily lives. To me, this is ridiculous, almost ludicrous to judge a filtered selfie edited on Procreate to reality.
We see those flawless, pimple-less influencers on Snapchat and muscular bodybuilders posing their biceps on Insta. However, do their supposed ‘lifestyles’ motivate the viewers? No- in fact, they have the opposite outcome- binge-watching on the armchair for hours, snacking on prawn Walkers, chugging rivers of Cherry pepsi as the fat deposits in the arteries and kidneys. You get the point-social media is like a one way flight to diabetes .
Like in Macbeth, reality is parallel to appearance.
As the world becomes even more technologically advanced, online privacy and security has become a growing threat, with 39% of data being sold on the dark web according to joint US and UK intelligence officers. With social media, your privacy becomes increasingly more compromised as one Geotag could reveal your address; one post could reveal your phone number; one wrong link could reveal your bank details. Would you want to be a victim of the latest security breach? Would you want to be digitally stalked by a jealous ex? Would you want to be falsely impersonated?
Despite this, an interview conducted by the BBC suggests that there are benefits from social media, such as increased motivation, more social interaction with new people, and recreational enjoyment. For example, a GCSE student may use Tik Tok as an educational asset to their study routines, watching analysis on Sheila to summaries of WW2. However, how many use social media for this reason? A meagre 2%
Again, reality is opposite to appearance.
Instead of glueing your eyes to the phone, go on a walk. Instead of swiping with your index finger, go to the gym. Instead of laughing endlessly at those ‘hilarious’ YouTube shorts, learn a new skill. Social media may depict happiness but reality is far from it.
And this is Chat GPT's feedback:
Content: 22/24
The response provides a well-structured and well-reasoned argument on the impact of social media on mental health and well-being. The writer effectively uses statistics and personal anecdotes to support their claims, and the use of literary references adds depth and nuance to the argument. The writer also acknowledges the potential benefits of social media, while still arguing that the negative impacts outweigh the positives.
SPAG: 15/16
The response displays a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures, with effective use of descriptive language. There are only minor errors in grammar and punctuation.
Overall grade: 37/40 (Grade 8/9)
The response displays a high level of content and language skills, with a well-developed argument and effective use of evidence and rhetorical devices. To improve, the writer could focus on further proofreading for errors in grammar and punctuation, but overall the response is of a very high standard. The response demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the writer's perspective to the reader.
Thank you sir for taking the time to look at this.
PS I'm in y10 but I have a terrible teacher who enforces some ludicrous structure for literature SQEIAIAIAPOAPOAFTL.
Is ChatGPT Accurate?
When you ask ChatGPT to give you comments, it does a very good job. But giving you a mark? Not so much.
If you ask it to mark your work a second time, it is also likely to give you a different mark, with very similar comments. This isn’t because ChatGPT is stupid, it is because exam assessment criteria are totally open to interpretation.
The Marking Criteria
Senior examiners can disagree with examiners by up to 3 marks each way in a 30 mark question. So, if the ‘real’ grade is 7, the exam board will happily give you a grade 6 or a grade 8. If you ask for a remark, you will only get a new grade if it is a grade 5 or a grade 9. Ofqual are happy that 98% of marks are accurate to within one grade either way - so there is a 2% chance your grade could be 2 grades too low!
So yes, this could be a grade 9 answer. I would give it a grade 8.
My Next Book
My Ultimate Guide to Persuasive Writing gives 11 grade 9 answers. In fact, it shows you how to be even better than grade 9 because grade 9 is not that good. By that, I mean that if we taught persuasive writing properly in school, the top 20% of students would easily write to grade 9 standard. The top 5% (so 1 in every 20 students in a tutor group), would write way beyond it.
This student is an example. They are already writing grade 8 or 9 in year 10, despite the fact that they do not rate their teacher.
My next book shows you what you need to write at specifically for each grade. One of the obvious differences is the use of statistics and experts.
In real exam answers which have been marked by senior examiners, it is easier to get grades 8 and 9 without statistics and experts. The reason for this is that it is very difficult to write a plausible one. For example, a ‘weakened mental state’ would never be revealed in a ‘survey’, but in a study. You are 15 or 16, and could not be expected to know that, but it makes the survey seem implausible.
Not All Persuasive Methods are Equal
The next point is that some persuasive methods appear much more frequently in top grade essays. These include patterns of three, different forms of repetition and rhetorical questions. These are incredibly easy - I thought - but in reality, only top students seem to do them well.
The key feature of doing them well is surprising - they flood their writing with them, using each method multiple times.
There are 15 Persuasive Methods
Metaphor
Anecdote
Direct Address
Facts
Alliteration
Triplets (Pattern of Three)
Hyperbole
Emotive Language
Rhetorical Question
Statistics
Contrasting pairs
Repetition
Opinion
Creating an Enemy
Humour
This is a mnemonic to remember them: MAD FATHERS CROCH
Enough Chat
I can explain things forever. Much better to show you an answer that scored 22/24 in an exam, so you can compare it to the student’s answer above.
From My Next Guide
When was the last time you visited a zoo? I, with thousands of others, recently visited London Zoo. I came face to face with a shocking realisation: why is an orangutan living better than I am?
This revelation occurred as my cheek was pressed awkwardly against the glass wall of the primate enclosure. These creatures live like royalty: three square meals a day, no responsibility and no job to go to. Could I live in the zoo please? Imagine being attended on hand and foot, your every wish granted. I know it sounds like a Disney fantasy, but it’s the reality of orangutan life at London Zoo.
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