Introduction to Question 4
This question is fantastically easy. It has taken me a lot of time writing exam answers to realise this. In the past I’ve been guilty of overcomplicating a method for my students, even though I always tried to keep everything as simple as possible. Let’s put that right here.
It’s going to be simple.
Question 4 is easy because you are basically asked to give and prove your opinion about a character. I mean, if I did this with Love Island, a Harry Potter film, or any film or TV series you enjoy, you would easily give me some strong opinions with examples showing why I should agree. It’s no different here.
So, what makes the question seem hard?
1. Students think it will be hard to find examples and so waste time thinking. Don’t think. Writing is thinking. Just write. If you write a bad idea, you don’t even have to cross it out (though I would). The examiner will just pretend anything wrong isn’t actually there. No, really, they are trained just to mark the good stuff and ignore anything rubbish or wrong.
2. Students worry about the terminology to use and look for examples of simile, metaphor, alliteration, sibilance, etc, rather than just quoting stuff that backs up their opinion. Just quote. If you don’t know the name if the technique, just call it imagery.
3. Students don’t evaluate – they just state their opinion without using words which show that other interpretations and opinions might also be right. As you can see below, if you don’t evaluate, you can’t even get a grade 4. Just use implies, suggests, probably, however, perhaps, might, may. Those words evaluate for you.
4. Students forget that there are two opinions in the question, so they have to deal with both.
Mark Scheme
1. Perceptive, detailed evaluation 16-20 marks
2. Clear, relevant evaluation 11-15 marks
3. Some evaluation 6-10 marks
4. Some limited comment 1-5 marks
Problems with the Mark Scheme
Different teachers and examiners will give you totally different answers to:
· What is the difference between ‘clear evaluation’ and ‘detailed evaluation’?
· How many evaluative points lift the answer to more than ‘some evaluation’?
· How many evaluations mean the answer is ‘detailed evaluation’?
· What does evaluation mean?
This is so subjective that trained examiners are allowed to disagree by up to 4 marks. This is appalling, because 4 marks is more than a grade!
So, I need to give you a method which leaves no doubt what your grade is. It will help every teacher and examiner award pretty much the same mark to the same answer. Here it is.
The Mr Salles Method
1. State whether or not you agree with the statement. (It is easiest to mostly agree)*.
2. Give 20 explanations which show how the examples make us think or feel or predict that the statement is mostly correct.
3. Give up to 20 examples. (Often you will be able to give more than one explanation from one quotation, so you can get away with far fewer examples).
4. Write each example and explanation in one sentence, not a PEE paragraph. PEE paragraphs stop you giving enough explanations and getting enough points. They take too long.
5. Just say what the writer is doing. Only name a technique if you know it. “Imagery” or “emphasises” scores just as highly as “imperative verb” or “asyndetic list”. You don’t need to be fancy, just make sense. You don’t need to go looking for techniques, as everything will be “imagery” or used to “emphasise”. And the same, bog standard techniques will always come up, “simile, metaphor, personification, alliteration and sibilance”.
6. Use words like perhaps, might, could, may, however to show that you are evaluating.
*Later on you will see that only partially agreeing makes it easy to get extra marks, even if you don’t have enough points.
We can summarise the method in one sentence:
Write 20 points, including words like perhaps, might, could, may, however to explain what each one makes us think, feel or predict.
(You will notice others in bold italic which also evaluate, but these are the main ones).
When You Read the Student Exam Answers
You will notice that I lay out each answer as numbered bullet points.
You don’t have to write your exam answers this way. However, if you did, you would help the examiner. They would easily be able to see how many quotations you are using, how many points you are making, and how many explanations you are giving about what we think, feel or predict.
But it will also make your task easier. You will write less, and still get the marks. You will know when you have written a full mark answer. This is especially useful in your exam practice and revision.
Many of you will find that you can write more than 20 of these points in 30 minutes. That’s fine – sometimes you might write a point which doesn’t score, so having more than 20 is a good insurance.
But never go over your time limit! (You have 30 minutes to read the question and the extract and write your answer).
Others of you will be saying, “Wait, what, I have to write 20 points, my handwriting is not fast enough.” Well, there’s a solution to that. Practise writing more quickly. You don’t have to be smart to be quick. But you can make yourself smart by practising.
What do Students Score on this Question Normally?
So, it’s a 20 mark question. The first few marks are therefore easy to get. You might expect that no student is going to score 0-2 marks on this question, unless they are actively trying to fail the exam. So, let’s split the remaining marks and assume that the average student would get 50% of them. That would give them a score of 11 marks.
Nationally, the average score on the description and narrative question is 12.3, which is out of 24. So, our prediction of 11 marks as a national average for question 4 is reasonable.
But no, the average score is in fact only 9.7, less than 50%!
This is proof that students simply don’t write enough.
AQA, very unhelpfully, don’t give many examples of full mark answers, perhaps because students just don’t get full marks. They simply don’t have the writing speed.
In my school, the highest mark for grade 9 students was 17. (Just to let you know, I don’t teach in my school!) That is also the highest marked answer AQA provides for 2 of the 3 exam papers in this guide.
Consequently, I have had to write my own full mark answers for you here.
Adapted From AQA Language Paper 1 June 2019
Question 4
Focus this part of your answer on the second part of the source, from line 32 to the end.
A student said, ‘This part of the story, where Albert has to find the shark which fell off the trawler and rows back with it, reveals Hardstop’s cruelty. This means that we entirely sympathise with Albert.’
To what extent do you agree?
In your response, you could:
- consider whether Albert is treated with cruelty by Hardstop
- evaluate how the writer creates sympathy for Albert
- support your response with references to the text.
Response 5
I partially agree that Hardstop’s sudden abandonment of Albert reveals his cruel nature.
The writer uses a pattern of short sentences: “We’ll wait at Smuggler’s Point. Find us there. Bring back the shark.” This abruptness reveals Hardstop’s impatience. This suggests he wants to leave Albert. This neglect and mistreatment of Albert makes us feel sympathy for him.
The description of the poor weather conditions also suggest Hardstop’s cruelty. These also invite our sympathy for Albert. We are made to feel protective and sympathetic towards Albert through the imagery of “pummelled and smacked” which describes the wind’s violence.
Albert has a stoic acceptance of the rain and Hardstop’s instructions. This could imply that Albert is used to the harshness of Hardstop’s words. It also implies he is used to the harshness of his treatment in poor weather. We feel sympathy for him as we realise Albert may have experienced much pain and struggle. Our sympathy is increased here because of his youth. However, Hardstop may not be an entirely cruel character, as his cruelty might be caused by his failing business, so I partially disagree with the statement.
His repetition of “just” in response to his cabin boy: “Just? How dare you tell me ‘just’?” could suggest he is trying to teach him that each catch is critical to the business. This is probably because of their financial situation. This might make us understand Hardstop’s circumstances and help us feel sympathy for him.
To conclude, Hardstop is a mostly cruel character, yet this might be explained by the stress of his circumstances.
The Mark Scheme
Perceptive, detailed evaluation 16-20 marks
Clear, relevant evaluation 11-15 marks
Some evaluation 6-10 marks
Some limited comment 1-5 marks
My Marking
There are 4 detailed paragraphs, as well as a one sentence introduction, and a one sentence conclusion.
There is a lot of interpretation of each quote to back up the student’s opinion, so this must be perceptive evaluation.
There is nothing it the answer that isn’t at least clear and relevant.
So, the best ft is ‘perceptive and detailed’. I’m going to give it 16 to 20 marks.
But, I would be wrong!
The Same Answer Using the Mr Salles Method
(Italics show the explanations)
1. I partially agree that Hardstop’s sudden abandonment of Albert reveals his cruel nature.
2. The writer uses a pattern of short sentences: “We’ll wait at Smuggler’s Point. Find us there. Bring back the shark.” This abruptness reveals Hardstop’s impatience.
3. This suggests he wants to leave Albert.
4. This neglect and mistreatment of Albert makes us feel sympathy for him.
5. The description of the poor weather conditions also suggest Hardstop’s cruelty.
6. These also invite our sympathy for Albert.
7. We are made to feel protective and sympathetic towards Albert through the imagery of “pummelled and smacked” which describes the wind’s violence.
8. Albert has a stoic acceptance of the rain and Hardstop’s instructions.
9. This could imply that Albert is used to the harshness of Hardstop’s words.
10. It also implies he is used to the harshness of his treatment in poor weather.
11. We feel sympathy for him as we realise Albert may have experienced much pain and struggle.
12. Our sympathy is increased here because of his youth.
13. However, Hardstop may not be an entirely cruel character, as his cruelty might be caused by his failing business, so I partially disagree with the statement.
14. His repetition of “just” in response to his cabin boy: “Just? How dare you tell me ‘just’?” could suggest he is trying to teach him that each catch is critical to the business.
15. This is probably because of their financial situation.
16. This might make us understand Hardstop’s circumstances and help us feel sympathy for him.
17. To conclude, Hardstop is a mostly cruel character, yet this might be explained by the stress of his circumstances.
15 marks
My Commentary
a) We can see that the answer fulfils the four elements of structuring an answer that the examiner wants:
1. Outline a partial agreement with the statement at the beginning.
2. Use ‘however’ or another connective which shows your partial disagreement.
3. Use words like perhaps, may, could, probably etc to show that you are evaluating.
4. Finish with a concluding sentence.
b) However, at its simplest, the student makes 17 points.
c) Points 1 and 17 are the introduction and conclusion, which score no marks on their own (although they are helpful to prove that the answer is an evaluation).
d) The remaining 15 points all include a reference to the text and an explanation, so the answer scores 15 marks.
e) It might seem a bit harsh that 15 points does not count as detailed, but that’s exams for you. Points make prizes.
f) Clear, relevant evaluation 11-15 marks
So, using the Salles Method makes it impossible not to get the marks you deserve.
Full Mark Answer
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