How Does Dickens Show the Importance of Scrooge's Transformation
This is a free taste of what my paid subscribers get - a top grade essay with examiner comments. Let’s find out what grade this is. It comes from a student who says,
“Dear Mr Salles,
I have been a huge fan of your YouTube channel for a while now, following your teachings for 2 years and owning all your English guides, but I have not seen any improvement in my gcses English literature grade.
I understand that it surely must have been my part, that has not enabled for any improvement. I have asked several of my teachers on how to improve but their comments were vague (and frankly quite biased).
Recently, I completed a Christmas Carol mock with your wonderful videos but apparently my essay writing has not improved since year 10. If it is at your convenience would you be able to mark it and give me some criticism as I urgently need it. I understand that you get several of these requests but I am quite confused on how I should proceed particularly in the Easter holidays. I am even considering in investing in a tutor as I have tried too many methods but seen little progress...
My message to this student is: you have an excellent understanding of Dickens’ purpose, and a great memory for the quotes in the novel.
Now you need to learn how to link all your ideas into an argument in your essay.
Scrooge’s Transformation
Dickens intentionally construct Scrooge as a character who experiences a transformation to educate the Victorian society to change the negative Capitalist views. Also this allegorical message written by Dickens highlights how society should change and treat the people "merry" in a paternal form.
My Comments
This is a 2 part thesis - that Dickens wants his readers to become paternal and reject capitalism. The paternal point is not explained, so is open to a lot of interpretation. As you know, I always recommend at least 3 parts to your thesis statement, as this acts as a plan for your essay.
You can also tell that this student is having to use English, which is not their first language. So some of the phrasing is clumsy.
Firstly, during stave one, Dickens uses an asyndetic list, describing Scrooge as a " wretched tight fisted... old sinner". Here, the seven negative adjectives allude to the seven deadly sins and how he must change his ways in order to not suffer the consequences; hell. Dickens cleverly visualise a Scrooge as an "old sinner" implying that age isn't a concern of redemption and one can transform at any age.
My Comments
This is a strong argument because it focuses on Dickens’ purpose. However, the idea that the 7 adjectives refer to the 7 deadly sins needs a lot of proof. It isn’t an idea in any of my videos and guides, and seems to be just a made up based on the idea of sin and 7.
Level 5 is ‘thoughtful’ and level 4 is ‘clear’. This is ‘clear’ about Dickens’ purpose, but the fist quotation analysis is unclear.
Furthermore, Scrooge is described with the simile "as solitary as an oyster". Here, there is a juxtaposition between the hard exterior of "tightfisted" Scrooge compared to the soft exterior; revealing a precious pearl. The pearl connotes it is valuable and perhaps suggest that Scrooge's inner self is positively anticipated.
My Comments
This links quotes from different parts of text together, which is ‘thoughtful’.
The last sentence needs to refer back to Scrooge’s transformation and Dickens’ purpose. At the minute it says we are anticipating Scrooge’s inner self - but what that means is not very clear. Perhaps it means that this causes the reader to anticipate that there will be a transformation in Scrooge, which would be a thoughtful point.
Alternatively, a Victorian reader would depict that oysters come in an abundance in their local stores, suggesting that Scrooge will only transform when he socialises with his family and friends...
My Comments
Depict is the wrong word. But the idea is a strong one. It would be even more thoughtful if it were linked with the role of Fred.
Dickens also introduces humour when Scrooge says "bah humbug." This evokes the reader into thinking he is a pantomime villain who we are keen on transforming rather than immediately detesting.
My Comments
Evokes is the wrong word. This is another very good idea, but better expressed as ‘this portrays Scrooge as similar to a pantomime villain’.
However, the pantomime villain is usually defeated, rather than transformed. They are also usually defiant, even at the end. So, this comparison doesn’t quite work.
Later, Dickens intentionally introduces a more serious capitalist tone when Scrooge declares to "decrease the surplus population" . This is a Malthusian theory that means: due to the rising population the proletariat has no real contribution to society. Here, the bourgeoisie readers understand how unnecessary Scrooges views sound which questions if their was also sound outdated.
My Comments
The student understands the concepts, but not how to write about them. Use simple language to explain your ideas, so you can make sure they are understood.
For example: This is a Malthusian view of the poor. This saw the poor as making no real contribution to society. So, increasing the number of poor people would damage society. A better solution would therefore be to let poor people die. Here Dickens presents these Malthusian views to shock his middle class readers. He wants them to reject Scrooge’s views. He also wants them to look at their own attitude to the poor, and ask if they are doing enough to help.
Notice how I have used ‘so’ and ‘therefore’ to build an argument.
When the ghost of Christmas past displays Scrooges tragic childhood we begin to understand how he is his "sole friend". Here, "sole" can be a homophone for "soul", evoking the Christian society's views that Scrooge should treat others with kindness similar to Jesus. We are introduced to child Scrooge who was described as "a solitary child neglected by his friends". This instantaneously emits pathos from the readers as we begin to realise his psychological upbringing has affected his current life.
My Comments
This is a very well argued paragraph until the last sentence. Yes, it has affected Scrooge’s life. So, tell us how and relate it back to Dickens’ purpose in transforming Scrooge.
This is further seen when Scrooge is sent to boarding school alone every Christmas. On one occasion, Scrooge’s sister visits him and says "father is so much kinder than he used to be". The reader can infer that their father's absence has led to Scrooge’s being bitter. Contextually, Dickens father was sent to debt prison in 1884 where he abandoned Dickens at the mere age of 12. This possible relation between Scrooge and Dickens highlights he importance of a father figure in one's actions and relates to the attachment theory: that one’s primary socialisation results in their performance of society.
My Comments
This is another well argued paragraph until the last sentence. What does this mean: “that one’s primary socialisation results in their performance of society”?
The other problem is that it does not refer back to the idea of transformation, so it is not yet relevant to the essay.
Every paragraph must therefore refer back to the question.
Dickens constructs Fezziwig as a symbol of benevolence indicating that he "dances with his apprentices". This implies that Fezziwig's optimism is related to the way he treats his workers. However, this positive role model would not have had any influence on Scrooge as it is in his adulthood. Dickens is cleverly hinting that Scrooge must fix his psychological damage with a paternal mindset to enable his transformation.
My Comments
This is a good example of how to link your paragraph to the question. Notice the student does this in the last sentence - this is an easy pattern to follow in every paragraph.
There is a problem though. Look back over each paragraph after the first. The essay would make just as much sense with the paragraphs in a different order. This is because they are not linked.
For example, how would this paragraph link to the previous one? “Dickens therefore constructs Fezziwig as a symbol of paternal benevolence”. Then it would follow on from the idea of the role of the father.
We infer that Scrooge is fixated on his lack of fatherly behaviour when he focuses on his "old contract" with Belle. Instead of focusing on his lost love due to replacing his idol with a "golden one", he would rather focus on his potential daughter. Here, Belle's daughter is described as a "spring time which dismisses a haggard winter". Here, the imagery of seasons possibly connote that fatherhood is a natural experience which most should go through.
My Comments
This paragraph is both ‘clear’ and ‘thoughtful’. It links back to the ideas of fatherhood in the previous paragraphs. The idea of the seasons changing also links to the idea of transformation, although this could be made more explicit.
It is when the ghost shows him Bobs relationship with his son which enables his psychological breakthrough. "Tiny Tim is high on Bob shoulders". Here, the action of lifting Tiny Tim on his shoulders symbolises stability and support that Bob provides him. This evoke Scrooge and he interrogate the ghost: "if tiny Tim will live?". This infers to the reader that Scrooge's concerns are authentic and admirable. Dickens purposely structures this scene in Stave 3 in the middle of the novella, highlighting how it is a pivotal moment in Scrooge’s transformation.
My Comments
This is another strong paragraph. It links back to the idea of transformation.
It develops the theme of fatherhood from the previous two paragraphs, so it feels like a ‘clear’ and perhaps ‘thoughtful’ argument is developing.
This results in Scrooge at the end of Stave Five, becoming a "second father" to Tiny Tim and treating others with kindness. He therefore states "I will honour Christmas in my heart". The lexis "Christmas" is a direct link to the fellow my man and how a Victorian reader should treat others with kindness.
My Comments
Remember how the early paragraphs explained that Scrooge, and therefore the reader, needed to learn to treat the poor differently - that was the point of the transformation.
Here, that idea has been lost. Instead, the transformation is just that we should all be nice to everyone, just like at Christmas. This is a weaker argument, and doesn’t properly link back to the thesis.
This means that the essay is not well argued.
Although some paragraphs are linked together about the need for Scrooge to become a father figure, there is not a strong sense of why.
In conclusion, Scrooge’s fixing his childhood trauma and by befriending others has enabled his transformation. Dickens demonstrates this transformation as a lesson which all Victorian readers should follow; to "bless everyone".
My Comments
This is a strong conclusion. It links back to the question and also looks outward, to what Dickens wants his readers to think. I always teach to try to end the conclusion with a quote, which works well here.
So, how would we assess it?
This is the fist column of the mark scheme:
Level 6 : Convincing, critical analysis and exploration
Level 5 : Thoughtful, developed consideration
Level 4 : Clear understanding and explanation
Level 3 : Some explained, structured comments
Level 2 : Some supported, relevant comments
Level 1 : Simple, explicit comments
The best fit is Level 4 - Clear understanding and explanation. The mark range is 16 - 20. Some paragraphs were ‘thoughtful’, so my prediction is that it would be marked in the range 19-22.
All these marks would be acceptable. If a senior examiner scored it at 20, other examiners would be allowed to give it any mark between 17 and 23.
I would give it 21.