This week I am filming courses on how to get top grades in the AQA English Language papers, juggling this with my day job, and also finalising some literature guides.
These guides are all based on essays students wrote in the exams, marked by senior examiners.
Today’s post is about Macbeth, but you will learn plenty about essay writing whether you know that play or not. The cover is cool, isn’t it!
A really interesting fact is that students have to write a lot more on Macbeth to get a grade than they have to on A Christmas Carol or Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. My working theory is that the extracts are easier to write about, and students probably know the play better than the novels.
Here are the stats for Macbeth:
So, grade 7 essays tend to be about 760 words long, while grade 8 and 9 are closer to 1000 words long.
As I keep finding, literature is just about knowing more. Points make prizes. You don’t have to be really clever. You just have to have a fast hand. The fastest hand wins the duel.
First, what does a grade 5 essay look like?
Question 1
Based on June 2019
Read this extract from Act 1 Scene 2 of Macbeth.
Then answer the question that follows.
At this point in the play, the Captain tells Duncan about Macbeth’s part in the recent battle against the Norwegian invaders.
CAPTAIN.
Doubtful it stood;
As two spent swimmers that do cling together
And choke their art. The merciless Macdonwald
(Worthy to be a rebel, for to that
The multiplying villainies of nature
Do swarm upon him) from the Western Isles
Of kerns and gallowglasses is supplied;
And Fortune, on his damned quarrel smiling,
Show’d like a rebel’s whore. But all’s too weak;
For brave Macbeth (well he deserves that name),
Disdaining Fortune, with his brandish’d steel,
Which smok’d with bloody execution,
Like Valour’s minion, carv’d out his passage,
Till he fac’d the slave;
Which ne’er shook hands, nor bade farewell to him,
Till he unseam’d him from the nave to the chops,
And fix’d his head upon our battlements.
DUNCAN.
O valiant cousin! worthy gentleman!
Explore how far Shakespeare presents Macbeth as a violent character.
Start with this extract.
Write about:
how Shakespeare presents Macbeth in this extract
how far Shakespeare presents Macbeth as a violent character in the play as a whole.
Clear understanding 16–20 marks Grades 5 and 6
Macbeth can be both celebrated and criticised for his violence, which we see in this extract and in the rest of the play.
This extract describes Macbeth’s violence in battle. This is praiseworthy as he is defending his country. The captain describes him as “brave” and he respects the fact that he killed many soldiers. This is typical of how others would view Macbeth.
Macbeth also chooses to act very violently in battle. He “unseamed” his enemy “from the nave to th’chaps and fixed his head upon our battlements”. This implies Macbeth has always had a violent character, before he hears the witches’ prophecies.
Macbeth is also violent elsewhere in the play, which we see when he murders Duncan. We understand Macbeth has violent thoughts when he speaks in SOLILOQUY. These thoughts are so strong that, as he prepares to kill Duncan, his mind creates a vision, “is this a dagger I see before me”? Macbeth has an emotionless reaction to murdering Duncan, saying “It is done”. This suggests that he is so violent in nature that he has no sympathy or guilt.
In the extract, Shakespeare shows that Macbeth’s sword “smoked with bloody execution”. This reveals that Macbeth’s violence has led him to kill so many soldiers that his sword is dripping in death and slaughter.
We understand that killing has become normal for him, and accepted by his society. This is why he is called “valiant cousin” and a “worthy gentleman”.
We finally meet Macbeth telling Seyton that he wants to behave violently “until Birnam Wood moves to Dunsinane”. This suggests he will keep fighting until the impossible happens, because he cannot imagine how the wood can ever climb the hill. He believes he cannot be overthrown, so can continue to rule violently.
Original 488 words
16 marks
Thesis Statement Yes
Explanations 9
Quotes 8
Named Methods 1
Society/era/patriarchal/Jacobean/contemporary/ historical reference etc 1
Shakespeare 1
Exploratory Could, Might, May, Perhaps, Probably 0
Conclusion No
Paragraphs 7
Words per paragraph 70
My Comments
You can see that the extract is acting as an anchor. In psychology, an anchor is the idea you are first presented with, which then acts as a weight, drawing you back to it.
For example, if I show you a pair of designer trainers that cost £1000, and then a pair that costs £200, you will think that the £200 pair is cheap. You will probably think that even if you have never spent more than £80 on a pair of trainers before. This is the impact of anchoring.
Here, the anchor is the extract. You can see the student trying to write about events other than the murder of Duncan. This really impresses the examiner, because they are used to reading the weak and poorly constructed answers we have just met. Possibly 50% of students write answers like those.
Whereas, if the student had simply written a list of all the ways that Macbeth is violent, they would have come up with many more ideas.
The killing of Banquo?
The slaughter of Macduff’s family?
The fight with Macduff?
Even without remembering any quotes, the sleepiest of students would probably remember these events occurred in the play. Notice that they are also in chronological order.
Examiner Comments
This is a good example of an explained answer.
The answer focuses on the whole task, with relevant examples from different parts of the play.
The comments are always relevant to the task.
There are several comments on the effects of language. For example on the sword which smoked with bloody execution.
The essay as a whole is consistent enough to get into the bottom of level 4.
The student could be a bit more explicit about ideas, especially violence.
How to get a Grade 8 and 9
It is really hard to get a grade 8 and 9 by starting with the extract. The answers I’ve read make this clear. So does the examiner’s report. This is obvious when you think about what top grade answers have to do.
They have to be a convincing argument.
To write an argument, you have to follow the idea, theme, or character and show how it develops during the play. Unless the extract is the first part of the play (as it is here) you are going to struggle by starting with the extract.
This is a more detailed version of how I would plan my answer in the exam:
3 Minute Plan
Thesis – attack on Jacobean masculinity, martial society, cautionary tale against regicide
Macbeth’s enjoyment of violence – unseamed
His sick sense of humour – shook hands
His skill – smoked with bloody execution
His bloodlust is his hamartia– horrid image … unfix my hair at killing Duncan
How this leads to divine punishment of addiction, guilt, madness
His addiction – kills the grooms, when the plan was to keep them alive
His guilt – never shake they gory locks … thou canst not say I did it
His madness – dagger I see before me … my mind is full of scorpions
His self-destruction – his confession to killing Duncan – I did it
Killing Macduff’s family leads to Macduff killing him – I’m stepped in blood so deep
Conclusion - Final judgement – dead butcher and fiend-like queen
Notice
The extract will be covered in points 2, 3 and 4.
The 6 further events are points 5, 7, 8, 9 (which is 2 connected events I’m treating as one), 11, 12
They are all in chronological order
I haven’t written out full quotations, or used quotation marks, because I want my plan to be as quick as possible.
What Grade 9 Essays Look Like
Paid Subscribers will read an essay which scored 30 marks, in under 700 words.
Thesis Statement Yes
Explanations 21
Quotes 10
Named Methods 8
Society/era/patriarchal/Jacobean/contemporary/ historical reference etc 5
Shakespeare 7
Exploratory Could, Might, May, Perhaps, Probably 3
Conclusion Yes
Paragraphs 7
Words per paragraph 95
My Comments
Hurrah, a thesis statement in at least 3 parts which mentions Shakespeare’s purpose, to explore masculinity.
The next paragraph deals with both the beginning and the ending of the play. Although this deviates from a chronological structure to your essay, it has the massive advantage of showing the examiner you are dealing with the whole play.
It also lets them know that you are constructing an argument which is going to explain the ending. The ending should always help you write about Shakespeare’s purpose. Here it is the idea that violence will turn upon the violent, Macbeth’s violent acts becoming bloody instruction which then turns upon him.
To be clear, writing about the ending always gets you better grades, because it always forces you to write about Shakespeare’s point of view. You can, of course, do this even more easily by working through the play chronologically.
This student doesn’t bother with that. Why?
They are very knowledgeable and they’re clever. They know they can find so much to say about the extract. That said, it is still incredibly short. You will be much more certain of your grade if you write more.
Now, go back and look at the methods. Cyclical, foreshadows, first introduced are all methods related to the structure of the play. Because comments about structure start at Level 5, these are really valuable methods to include.
Read the essay by becoming a paid subscriber.
Examiner Comments
This essay is well structured.
It explores ideas all the time, through several parts of the play.
It develops a very effective argument by using lots of references.
It links the structure of the play to ideas well for Level 5.
By the time the student writes about ‘toxic masculinity’ and Macbeth’s role as a soldier, the ideas are firmly Level 6.
In this extract Shakespeare focuses on Macbeth’s violence. This emphasises his bravery, which is lauded by others. It also introduces the THEME of masculinity, equating it to violence. Macbeth’s final downfall is also FORESHADOWED in this extract.
Shakespeare portrays Macbeth’s violence as gruesome, as “he unseamed him from the nave to th’chaps”. He appears to rip Macdonwald apart. Perhaps* this emphasises the excessive violence Macbeth uses, in excess of that needed to kill his enemy. This FORESHADOWS how excessively violent he becomes later. We see this clearly when Macbeth then “fixed his head upon our battlements”, because Macbeth’s head is also displayed this way at the end. This CYCLICAL ENDING implies that violence must lead to a destructive cycle, and how Macbeth’s own violence led to his downfall.
However, at the beginning, Shakespeare presents Macbeth’s violence as both brave and noble. The Sergeant describes the battle in EPIC terms, so that he claims “brave Macbeth – well he deserves that name.” This helps us understand the relationship between violence and brave masculinity. So Lady Macbeth associates masculinity with violence and supernatural spirits to “unsex me”. Next, she manipulates Macbeth to murder Duncan by insulting his masculinity as insufficiently violent. Linking violence to regicide could* imply that Shakespeare views masculinity as toxic.
“Brave Macbeth” also reveals that Macbeth feels most at home in battle, because he can express his violence without having to justify the morality of his brutality. This is repeated in Act V when he fights Macduff, still brave even though he knows he will be killed. He becomes once more the noble warrior we met in Act I. The significance of “brave Macbeth” would intrigue the Jacobean audience, as Shakespeare has FIRST INTRODUCED US to the witches who have already told us that Macbeth is their target. The audience wonder how the brave and noble Macbeth can be corrupted by their evil.
This extract also introduces the MOTIF of blood, as Macbeth’s sword “smoked with bloody execution”. This portrays Macbeth’s violence as skilful, noble and necessary, wielded for a just cause. This MOTIF soon comes to represent Macbeth’s guilt. He sees it as SYMBOLIC of his own crimes when he observes “I am in blood stepped so far”.
In the extract, his violence is portrayed as an art form, as “their art”. In contrast, the SIMILE “as two spent swimmers that do cling together” implies that this art of violence will lead to his tragedy. Shakespeare also uses PERSONIFICATION to link violence and fate, with “Disdaining Fortune”. This is IRONIC, as it implies Macbeth can overcome his fate. Yet his violent acts are going to lead directly to his tragic fate.
To conclude, this extract portrays Macbeth as inherently violent, but shows how his violence is used in a noble cause rather than for personal ambition. This also portrays masculinity as inherently violent. We must also remember the context of the Gunpower Plot. Shakespeare’s play could* be a CAUTIONARY TALE warning that violence will turn on the violent, leading to the fate of their own destruction.
Original 663 words
Fantastic! Looking forward to the new guides 😊.