This is an extract from my guide:
Question
You now need to refer only to Source A from lines 22 to 32.
How does the writer use language to describe eating Ensaimadas and Chupa Chups?
12 marks
Response
The first description of ensaimadas is hyperbolic, “frosted with powdered sugar like a gateway drug”.
This hyperbole exaggerates how addictive the taste is “filled with cream, apricot or chocolate”.
It is so delicious that it is compared to a gateway drug.
This implies that most children won’t be able to resist eating more.
The ensaimadas are also “as addictive as an aged whiskey”. This also suggests that children will become unhealthy as the ensaimadas are so “addictive” just like alcohol.
This also shows that ensaimadas are unlike any other sweets because they are so delicious they can’t be resisted at all.
The author also uses humour, “you knew fillings were being carved out of…
6 marks
Humour and hyperbole/hyperbolic were the three methods mentioned.
Explanations are in italics.
Examiner Comments
Point 1 has a quote, a method, but no explanation. Zero marks.
Point 2 has a quote and an explanation of the taste. It also has an explanation for the effect of the hyperbole in point 1. 2 marks.
Point 3 is a further explanation of the quote in point 1. 1 mark.
Point 4 is a further explanation of the quote in point 1. 1 mark.
Point 5 contains a quote and an explanation. 1 mark.
Point 6 introduces a further explanation to the quote in point 5. 1 mark.
Notice what excellent exam technique this student has. Although they have not got to 12 points, they know that the marks at the beginning of the next question are always easier to get than the marks at the end of a question. So they moved on.
However, never stop mid-way through a point – you’ve already done the hard thinking.
Why did this student stop mid-way through a point? It is very likely that they have chosen to do the questions in a different order – spending the beginning of the exam on the longer mark questions 5 and 4. Then they have probably saved the easiest, questions 3 and 1 till last.
What Order to Do the Questions
(The order I find easiest is to do question 5 first, then question 3 as you only have to look at one source. Then question 4, because it is the highest mark question looking at both sources. Then question 2, because it is the lowest mark looking at both sources. Then question 1 because it is the lowest mark question, and the easiest one to get right. You should experiment with question order in your mocks and revision, so that you know which approach works best for you.
There is a case for just answering in the order the exam is set because you have less to worry about. But it definitely makes the questions harder, as you have to read both sources and understand them fully before you can answer question 2, which counts for only 8 marks. This is too hard. So, if you just want less worry about, do Q1, Q3, Q4, Q2, Q5).
12 marks requires you to write 12 explanations.
AQA didn’t give us a 12 mark answer. Here is an 11 mark answer. Here it is in paragraphs:
The use of the simile “as addictive as an aged whiskey” creates the impression that the ensaimada is addictive and likely to lead to harm, like whiskey. The emphasis on the word “addictive” suggests that it won’t just be a childhood treat, but will last into adulthood. This is emphasised by the choice of an “aged whiskey” which only an adult would enjoy.
This idea of harm is also emphasised by the metaphor “the filling would explode unpredictably as you bit in” which uses violent language. The verb “explode” is used for humour, but we also associate the danger not just with the filling inside the ensaimada but with the dangers of sugar generally.
This is followed by “hence the fun of eating them” which implies that eating them makes the child attracted to danger, both now and in ignoring the implications for their health.
Chupa Chups are also dangerous, “If you dared to chew, you knew fillings were being carved out of your molars” and appear to attack teeth more violently. The verb “carved out” suggests that the sweets are hard and, like a glacier, will erode the teeth permanently. The word “knew” suggests that these sweets are so addictive that the children eat them even when they suspect the long term effects.
The ensaimadas come in “wonderful flavours, frosted with powdered sugar like a gateway drug” which makes them sound irresistible. But the simile, “like a gateway drug” emphasises the harm that eating them will cause. This is also true of the Chupa Chups which are so harmful that they draw blood when you suck them, “your mouth cut itself on the sharp ridges of boiled sugar”.
279 words
How to Make The Examiner Give You 12 Marks
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