This is an extract from the guide I’m writing. This answer is grade 6 answer.
Based on Paper 2 November 2021
Question 4
For this question, you need to refer to the whole of Source A, together with the whole of Source B.
Compare how the writers convey their different opinions about sweet treats.
In your answer, you could:
- compare their different opinions about sweet treats.
- compare the methods the writers use to convey their opinions.
- support your response with references to both texts.
[16 marks]
Answer
Source A portrays sweet treats as desirable, emphasising positive emotions and great flavours. However, Source B portrays sweets as dangerous to children.
Two examples of the dangers in Source B are, “this terrible threat to our much-loved young” and “Indeed one might speculate that many infants were killed by gorging themselves on such beautifully painted sweets.” Both of these convey the dangerous threat of eating these sweets.
In contrast, Source A portrays sweet treats not as threats but as delightful. We can see this with two examples, “You could horde the churros, twirling them into the chocolate sauce, scooping ever thicker layers of dark splendour” and “sharing the lasting pleasure”. These both reveal the wonderful flavours and the joy of eating the treats. They also suggest that the pleasures will be almost everlasting and keep getting better and better.
So Source A celebrates the joy of sweet treats. Whereas Source B contradicts this, emphasising the dangerous threat of sweets to young lives, so sweets should therefore be resisted.
9 marks
4 comparisons
168 words
My Comments
Explanations 8
Methods 8
References 4
Points 8
Average 7
19 words per mark
There it is again: if the student had aimed for 26 words per mark, they would have scored many more marks.
Again, the examiner has fallen in love with that third paragraph and its PEEL structure, with two explanations of the writer’s viewpoint.
My own belief is that the marks should equal the number of explanations, so I would have awarded this 8 marks. However, this is a useful way to see how you can nudge the examiner into extra marks.
Explanations in PEEL just seem to impress the examiner, especially up to grade 7!
(There are two more explanations in the final paragraph, but they simply repeat explanations made earlier – there is no need to write this sort of conclusion, or indeed any conclusion).
Grade 9 Answer
Both sources focus on overconsumption of sweet treats by children.
The consequence of eating such treats in Source A is described as “If you dared to chew, you knew fillings were being carved out of your molars” and of other treats, “parents fed them to me for breakfast”. This reveals how the children were happy to risk the health of their teeth for the short term pleasures of sugar, and how the writer’s parents went along with this. This excessive consumption of sweet treats did lead to tooth decay.
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