What Examiners Want in Persuasive Writing
Guide: Available here
If you are a student who wants grades 5, 6 or 7, what you have to say is much more important than how you say it.
In other words, your argument is much more important than your persuasive techniques.
Or, put it another way, persuasive techniques are the decoration we do to the house. If the house is missing walls, the decoration is pointless.
First, build the house. Then even white emulsion everywhere will still impress.
I’ve been writing and reading dozens of graded responses to see what the examiners reward - and that’s how I’ve found this out.
You really can write all sorts of descriptive rubbish for the description question 5 of paper 1, and still get a grade 5, 6 or 7. But you can’t with question 5 of paper 2.
What this means is, think of lots of facts, and put them in the right order to build an argument.
Here is an extract from my guide to Question 5 Paper 2:
Response 5
Homework is a negative memory of school which you will hear when you ask anyone to remember their school days. Children don’t value being able to “consolidate” their lessons, they view it as a disadvantage.
I personally see homework as helpful, as it allows teachers to check if students understand without peers helping with work. This allows teachers to reteach or provide targeted sessions to boost the class if incorrect answers are in the majority.
However, teachers can fail to organise homework, so they set a dozen pieces for pupils in one week, but only a couple the next. While students are working so hard on homework, they are too busy for leisure pursuits.
Exercise helps the brain as it wipes away stresses and overwhelming thoughts, enabling students to attempt future work with more concentration. However, if they are given huge numbers of tasks there isn’t time for this.
A further drawback is teachers who abuse the original reason for homework. Homework is created to ‘help’ you learn new material because the lesson was too long. Resulting in, if a student learns incorrectly, they will totally fail the topic when it’s time for revision.
In addition, mostly younger children in primary can be angry when given homework and so they abuse their parents. This is because they believe home is a time for relaxation, not further work. Also, parents like to help their children, resulting in teachers ultimately getting the parents’ contribution, not the student’s.
In conclusion, I believe there is value in homework, as students find out what they don’t understand so it helps them revise. However, I believe teachers should be more reasonable with the volume of homework they set.
15 marks
282 words
Original 310 words
My Comments
Content
Metaphor – not really – exercise wipes away is a metaphor, but it feels like something anyone would say, and without knowing it is a metaphor
Anecdote – not really, the teacher setting homework is not a developed enough example.
Direct Address – just the first line, so no
Facts – yes, facts are everywhere in this piece
Alliteration – no, there are no real examples
Triplets (Pattern of Three) – there are only 2 sentences in three parts. There isn’t a sense that this is deliberate, and this isn’t combined with repetition, as is normally the case in persuasive writing.
Hyperbole – no, this is a balanced argument which sticks to the facts.
Emotive Language – yes, both positive and negative, to show the balance of each part of the argument.
Rhetorical Question - no
Statistics – no
Contrasting pairs – yes, the facts are often presented as contrasting pairs
Repetition - no
Opinion – yes, they are linked to the balanced argument and facts
Creating an Enemy – no, this is a ‘reasonable’ balanced argument
Humour – no
Again, we have only 4 methods done well.
Organisation
Anecdote at the beginning – no
Counter argument – yes
Call to action at the end – yes
Circular structure– no
Sentences repeating the same pattern – no
Paragraphs repeating the same pattern – no
Sentences starting with a different word – mostly
A long, show off sentence – no
Only 2 organisation methods done well!
So, this is useful, isn’t it? This is an answer with almost no persuasive methods.
So, it tells us how important having a balanced argument is, with lots and lots of facts.
· Have an introduction
· Logical paragraphs putting forward your point of view.
· Dismiss the counter argument.
· Write a conclusion.
· Try to write at least 300 words.
The bullet points in Content and Organisation are everything you need for 100%. (although many 100% answers will have fewer - understanding them all will make sure you get grades 8 and 9 every time).
This is another extract from my guide. It is a grade 9 answer. This time I’ll put my marking first.
My Comments
Content
Metaphor - sandstone temples stand proud, turning the temples into a theme park, This isn’t the only crime committed by tourism, corporations’ insatiable appetites – metaphor is everywhere in this answer. I teach it as one of the most important methods in my Ultimate Guide to Persuasive Writing. If you use metaphor a lot, it is almost impossible not to get a top grade.
Anecdote – yes, first sentence! I told you that starting a sentence with ‘imagine’ is an easy win!
Direct Address – yes
Facts – yes, look at how the student has used their knowledge of geography
Alliteration – here’s one of many: destroyed by tourists who are turning the temples
Triplets (Pattern of Three) – the last two sentences are deliberately organised in 3 parts. Don’t you love the symmetry of the numbers in this too?
Hyperbole – well, every metaphor is a potential exaggeration. A sea of gasses!
Emotive Language – every sentence!
Rhetorical Question - yes
Statistics – yes
Contrasting pairs – lots of contrast. Here is a pair: ‘You may believe this will have little impact on you, but you must realise our children, the younger generation must inherit’
Repetition – their children – but not much else.
Opinion - everywhere
Creating an Enemy – you know it
Humour – those similes!
I really thought, at this level, that every method would be used. 14.5 out of 15 isn’t bad though.
Organisation
Anecdote at the beginning – yes
Counter argument – I hear you ask
Call to action at the end – yes
Circular structure– both beginning and end criticise tourism. Both paragraphs focus on culturally vulnerable sites.
Sentences repeating the same pattern – yes, see the last paragraph
Paragraphs repeating the same pattern – no
Sentences starting with a different word – yes, constant variation
A long, show off sentence – 30, 30, 25
So, at this level of grade 9, students use nearly all the organisational techniques, and nearly all the persuasive methods.
To get grade 9 it looks like you can no longer write 4 good paragraphs, and then a fifth as a conclusion.*
You need more points in your argument, and therefore more paragraphs.*
And obviously, your conclusion still needs to look at the impact on the future and the wider world.*
*These are all techniques which the examiner is looking for, which we find out from reading the other grade 8 and 9 answers.
You can get grade 7 with just 4 paragraphs.
Here is the answer. It scored 20 marks. Grade 9 starts at 19.
Paid subscribers get a top grade answer every week. They also have access to over 40 answers already published.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Mr Salles Teaches English to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.