AQA like to tell teachers how to help students pass their exam questions.
This is not the same as teaching you to be good at English. Oh no. What it means is:
“Our questions are artificial. They have strange rules. When you understand the rules, you can get higher marks. Sorry, I know this has nothing to do with English”.
Sorry, not sorry, because they don’t actually make the questions any better.
But, because of this, they do give teachers top tips. One of those tips used to be ‘Write a lot about a little’!
This seemed like great advice to help students get AO2 marks. It led to teachers no longer teaching the PEE paragraph structure, and having longer structures, like PETAL, PEEL, PRETZEL.
AQA introduced the What, Where, How, Why paragraph.
But, once students can get a grade 6, these paragraph structures hold you back. And they are killing the subject. Being good at English has little to do with being able to write these sorts of paragraphs.
Let me show you what I mean, with two paragraphs from a subscriber.
Hi Mr Salles,
I tried doing this with An Inspector Calls.
Original: 247 words
In the opening scene, Eric is described as ‘not quite at ease’ and ‘half-shy, half-assertive’. The contrasting adjectives creates an uncertainty about his character, implying it is not yet fully formed and is open to change. The first few scenes in Act 1 highlight the ambiguous nature of Eric’s personality and opinions. For example, whilst he is quick to challenge his father, for instance interrupting Mr Birling’s speech with the question, ‘What about war?’, Eric also withdraws into himself just as quickly, for instance when he cuts himself off in the phrase ‘Yes, I remember–’. The question ‘What about war?’ is bold, and suggests some social awareness of the wider world he is living in, a foundation for his later change. This suggests he has formed his own opinions about matters, and is not unafraid of openly disagreeing with his father. As the play was received by a 1945 audience, many of whom would have lived through two world wars, this comment suggests Eric is insightful, with valid opinions. However, the latter phrase being cut short suggests that Eric has something to hide, hinting at an issue yet unknown to his family as well as the audience. These two aspects affect his behaviour towards others, as he is simultaneously confident and unsure. This is a reflection of his attitude towards himself: he clearly wants to change in some way, but does not know how or what to change, and is also evidently troubled about a deeper problem.
This student then read yesterday’s post, about how to say more by writing less:
So, that paragraph became: 137 words
In the opening scene, Eric is described as ‘not quite at ease’ and ‘half-shy, half-assertive’. The contrasting adjectives imply the uncertainty of his character– it is not yet fully formed and open to change. Act 1 highlights Eric's ambiguous nature and opinions. Whilst he is quick to challenge his father's political speechmaking with the question, 'What about war?', Eric is also quick to withdraw, often cutting himself off such as 'Yes, I remember–'. His bold question implies perhaps a greater social awareness than Mr Birling; with the dramatic irony of a post-WW2 audience keenly aware of war, he appears insightful. However, his unease casts doubt as it could suggest he has something to hide. This simultaneous confidence and uncertainty displays how Eric, representative of the younger generation, wants to change, but his darker history can inhibit this.
This will score just as many marks as the first long paragraph. Actually, the comparison to Mr Birling probably means this paragraph is even better.
The first is a grade 9 paragraph, even beyond a grade 9. So is this one.
But how many such paragraphs could the student write in 1000 words?
4 with the first example, 6.5 with the second.
Few students are as brilliant as the one above. So, let’s think what this means for you.
Now, imagine that you are writing at grade 7. You might only write 2.5 or 3 of the first paragraph. You will write about hardly any quotes. You won’t be writing a conceptualised argument. You’ll still get a grade 7 - maybe a grade 8 if you are lucky.
But, if you are a grade 7 student who can now write the shorter paragraphs making the same points, well, you are going to get a grade 8 or 9. No question.