Who do you want to be when you grow up? I’m 44 and still don’t really know. When I left teacher’s college for the classroom at 21 I thought I did. But after 20 years life had other plans!
I shared with my small world back in August that I was leaving my role in public education to do new things. I wasn’t sure how it would all play out but I knew it was time for a transition. Six months later I am learning to enjoy wearing many different hats: writer, podcaster, professor. In each role I can see parts of myself that I used in one way or another in the classroom of my past life now getting stretched out into new forms. For example, I’ve always been good at making links between people and ideas, so recently my sister gave me a fancy title in her production company to do a lot more of that! (And if I reach out to you in some partnership development capacity please accept the zoom invite—it’s just me doing my job!)
In my role as an Educational Consultant I’m also doing some work that is teaching me a lot about myself, email etiquette, and what it means to be both an insider and an outsider at the same time. The independent academic researcher learning curve is steep, my friends!
It started back in 2011 when I did an MEd that focused on community engagement. Fast forward to this past summer where I was asked by people in that program to research what it was then and what it has become today. The woman who has hired me is generous and gives me hope for the academy, choosing to use her own professional development funds to make this project happen. I love that she sees value in looking backwards to move forwards. And I also appreciate the healthy dose of realism she brings to the project. I got this note from her on Monday after a flurry of emails came in, all written in different fonts, with and without attachments (that did and did not open). She wrote:
“Someone told me once that getting academics organized is like "herding cats" - so, it will be piecemeal I guess for now. Good to hear it's not unsettling you.”
I’m not unsettled in the least. In fact I think this experience is hilarious! At one time, not too long ago, I thought I wanted to be a tenured professor. I assumed it was the only way out of teaching. But it felt like I was foiled at every turn, writing and rewriting countless versions of my academic cv, twisting myself into knots to try and fit job postings that may not even have been real. But the tables have turned and with this research project my experience of academia feels different. The ones I sought approval from for more than a decade have turned around and asked me for my services. In the end I’ll deliver them a good product and then walk away—the cats will return to their cat business and I won’t be cleaning out the litter box.
The confession I am making here—to myself more than anything—is that I’m glad I never got that one “perfect” job because today I’m here, both an insider and an outsider. I’m learning to find power in new self-imposed titles. What do you want to be when you grow up Natalie? A woman in transition.
Finally getting some time to pause and reflect - loved this article and hope to always be "a woman in transition"
Such a candid write-up Nat. Thank you. I am reminded that drawing straight lines out of our lives is near impossible. It takes real courage to live the true life.
On your side,
Muyiwa