Date: Friday, December 1st
Time: 4:56 PM
#ThoughtsFromABench
My friend asked me a question recently that has lingered in the ether of my brain since.
“How do you uncover your inner self after years of societal conditioning?”
Before I share my thoughts, perhaps you wonder, what is the inner self?
It’s your unique nature. Your intrinsic preferences. What you enjoy. Who you are.
— The authentic self.
Throughout your upbringing and integration with society, it’s easy to lose a connection to your authentic self.
The majority of humans have an inherent need to “fit in”.
Out of which, the “herd mentality” was born.
A trade-off with this need is forgoing some of your instincts.
Why?
So that you can be liked. So that you can make friends.
To feel part of something.
Truth be told, fear is at the root of why we possess that need.
People fear being an outcast or as they say in Japan, a “gaijin” (outsider).
— Shouldn’t you be more afraid of not being true to yourself?
What happens when we try to “fit in”?
— We accept the beliefs of others.
Oftentimes, without questioning how they impact our authentic selves.
Life has a way of letting you know when you’re not living in line with your true self.
That brings me to the story behind the title of this post.
In the centre of my living room stands an old wooden piano.
I’m not a competent piano player and I’ve never had lessons.
When I first moved in, the novelty of having a piano led me to spend hours playing around with the keys.
I loved it.
You could tell that the piano was slightly out of tune but it didn’t matter. The songs still sounded the same.
I was learning a new skill and having a tonne of fun doing so.
One day, we had a visitor at the house who knows how to play.
They barely played a few chords and closed the lid on the piano.
What’s wrong I said?
“The piano is out of tune”.
For them, unless it sounded just right, there was no point playing.
How does this relate to my point about the inner self?
My instinct to gravitate toward the piano was based on the joy that it brought me. Regardless of its imperfect condition.
The idea of “perfection” stalled our friend.
Perfection is a condition.
It’s a condition created from the mind. From the ego.
Perfection stems from judgment.
What’s an alternative word for judgment?
— Comparison.
What is the result of comparing?
— The loss of joy.
What does the loss of joy do?
— Disconnects you from your authentic self.
— Reduces fulfillment.
— Creates dissatisfaction.
I can think back to a number of times in my life where I was doing and saying things just to fit in.
Was I happy?
Sure there was a short-term buzz of fitting in but did it sustain?
No, it didn’t.
Don’t play to someone else’s beat to gain their approval.
Tune your life to create harmony.
Live Free,
Niall.
Readers Reflection
What instictual preferences have you traded as a result of societal conditions?
Yes! Fitting in with the wrong people is a bummer. Own drum, own beat, fans and other band mates will join. If you catch the metaphor.