Birth Education Alone Is NOT Enough
Connecting with our divine intuition
Navigating the Maternity Maze: The Challenge of Systemic Birth Education
In my professional encounters, I often meet women blindsided by the maternity system's overwhelming bureaucracy. Many women enter pregnancy with minimal knowledge about their bodies, and even fewer acquire enough understanding during pregnancy to fully grasp the birthing process. They receive systemic birth education that adheres to the prevailing narrative, which can disempower them. The deficiency of comprehensive birth education in mainstream settings is evident when we consider the current rates of cesarean sections, inductions, and interventions. While some argue that the inherent dangers of birth justify these outcomes, implying that many women undergo traumatic births for a reason, I believe this perspective overlooks the essence of birth's nature. Birth, like life, carries risks, but not all interventions are always necessary or beneficial.
The Unintended Consequences of Birth Interventions
Many times, the very interventions intended to safeguard women and babies during childbirth inadvertently become the source of harm. It's a challenging realisation for many women, who often don't come to this understanding until they have the space and time to process their experiences and reflect on their trauma. They may recognise that the healthcare system, designed to assist them, could have initiated an unnecessary cascade of interventions. This sequence of events sometimes leads to a paradoxical scenario where women feel grateful towards the very individuals or system that contributed to their distress, a phenomenon that can evoke comparisons to Stockholm syndrome, where hostages develop a psychological alliance with their captors as a survival strategy. However, it's crucial to acknowledge that healthcare professionals operating within this system generally have good intentions.
The complexity of this issue lies not in the malicious intent of healthcare workers but in the adherence to guidelines and protocols that may not always be rooted in up-to-date, evidence-based practice. Healthcare professionals are often products of the system that trained them, bound by the standards and expectations set forth by their institutions. This scenario underscores a significant gap between the intended purpose of medical interventions and their real-world implications, suggesting a need for a more informed, nuanced approach to childbirth care.
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Revolutionising Maternity Care Education: A Call for Empowerment
This recognition calls for a profound shift in how we educate and train maternity care providers. By creating a deeper understanding of the physiological processes of childbirth and promoting practices supported by solid evidence, we can move towards a model of care that truly prioritises the well-being and autonomy of women and babies. Encouraging healthcare professionals to question and critically assess the standard protocols and guidelines can pave the way for more personalised, respectful, and empowering birth experiences. Ultimately, this shift can help bridge the gap between intervention and support, ensuring that actions taken during childbirth genuinely serve the best interests of both mother and child, free from the unintended consequences of unnecessary medical intervention.
Even when women find their way to gold-standard birth education—a rarity that enables informed decision-making—a crucial element is often missing. This element is so vital that its widespread comprehension could revolutionise birth experiences, potentially impacting the world and collective consciousness profoundly. After all, the journey towards peace on earth begins with birth. Superficial birth education alone is insufficient; emotional regulation is key, both for the expectant mother and the midwives, doulas and birth keepers attending their births. The prevalence of fear within the birthing space is perpetuated by midwives who may approach their duties with judgment and reaction rather than mindful response. I advocate for the integration of spiritual and personal development at the core of all maternity care training to prevent the dissonance caused by unregulated emotions in caregivers.
Reconnecting with Our Authentic Selves: The Power of Divine Feminine Wisdom
The transmission of fear or judgment into the birthing environment can significantly affect the birthing woman, stemming from a profound disconnection from our authentic selves. This disconnection leads to division, bias, and judgment, obscuring our essence and true nature. My training emphasises reconnecting with our divine feminine wisdom, an aspect I consider crucial for both birth professionals and expectant mothers. This approach is why our birth statistics at When Push Comes To Shove are so impressive. Our educational methodology begins with the woman—addressing their blocks, traumas, and uncovering their superpowers—to transcend fear and live authentically, offering soulful solutions to confront personal challenges. This not only creates exemplary birth companions but also initiates a transformative ripple effect.
Understanding the two principal levels of birth education further illustrates this point. The first, 'superficial' education, provides important facts about birth physiology, oxytocin, birthing environments, and birth rights, but it's merely an introduction. This level, while essential, is akin to offering a hand without an arm—the arm being the second level of deep wisdom that transcends specific birth knowledge, applying more broadly. Our societal programming encourages us to operate from our ego, disconnecting us from our divine feminine intuition and deeper understanding necessary for truly empowered birth experiences. By embracing both levels of education and focusing on the integration of emotional intelligence and spiritual growth into maternity care, we can foster a generation of individuals empowered not only with knowledge but with wisdom and intuition, laying the groundwork for transformative birth experiences and, ultimately, a more peaceful world.
What is Ego: Beyond Narcissism to Understanding Perpetual Suffering
When we speak of the ego, it's crucial to clarify that we're not merely discussing narcissism or self-absorption. The concept of ego, especially from a Buddhist perspective, delves much deeper into the fabric of our psychological existence. It refers to the sense of self that navigates through life, making decisions, experiencing emotions, and forming attachments. However, this ego, while necessary for our survival and daily functioning, often becomes a source of perpetual suffering due to its limitations and the illusions it perpetuates.
Buddhism teaches that the ego is a construct of the mind that gives us the impression of a solid, unchanging identity. This illusionary sense of self is at the core of our suffering because it leads to attachment, desire, and ultimately, dissatisfaction. The ego thrives on differentiation, constantly comparing and contrasting, leading to judgments and biases that separate us from others and from our true nature. It is this process that often keeps us locked in cycles of happiness and distress, chasing after desires and recoiling from aversions, never fully at peace.
In the context of childbirth and maternity care, understanding the role of the ego can be transformative. The ego might push for certain outcomes, driven by fear, expectations, or societal norms, rather than genuine need or intuition. This can lead to a disconnect from the intuitive, deeply connected process of childbirth, where tuning into the body and the baby, and moving with the flow of birth, is crucial.
The Buddhist approach to overcoming the limitations of the ego involves practices aimed at recognising the impermanent, interdependent nature of our existence. Mindfulness, meditation, and compassion are key practices that help individuals see beyond the ego's boundaries, reducing attachment to specific outcomes and opening up to a more authentic, present, and compassionate way of living. This perspective encourages a birth experience that is more connected, less fearful, and more open to the natural unfolding of life's processes.
By understanding the ego not as a villain but as a part of ourselves that we can observe, understand, and transcend, women can find greater peace, empowerment, and connection to the deep wisdom that guides the journey of bringing life into the world. This shift in perspective is not about eliminating the ego but about understanding its nature and learning to live with it in a way that brings us closer to our true essence and to each other.
The Design of Living from Ego: Control Through Fear and Compliance
The notion that our societal structure encourages living from the ego may not be merely coincidental but a deliberate design aimed at maintaining control and compliance. Fearful people, operating in survival mode, are far easier to influence and manage. When people react impulsively rather than respond thoughtfully, they become enmeshed in societal narratives and expectations that dictate their lives. This compliance is subtly reinforced through various societal mechanisms, keeping individuals focused on external validation rather than internal wisdom.
Deep within our subconscious, we are drawn to what feels familiar, even if it perpetuates our suffering. This is not a conscious choice but rather an unconscious gravitation towards known patterns. For instance, someone who repeatedly enters abusive relationships doesn't consciously seek abuse but might be subconsciously driven by a sense of familiarity rooted in past experiences or childhood. Similarly, how one perceives treatment from others can reflect their own self-worth, though this is not universally applicable and exceptions exist.
Societal narratives often paint the world as a dangerous place, leading us to feel powerless and small. This perception keeps people's focus on their problems rather than their potential to change their belief systems and the narratives inherited from their upbringing. The "powers that be" understand that people divided by fear and conflict are more manageable. Arguments and divisions, whether fuelled by topics such as alcohol consumption's effect on the brain or social media debates on contentious issues like vaccination, serve to maintain this control by perpetuating cognitive dissonance and division.
Alcohol, for example, is said to calcify the pineal gland, which some believe hinders the connection between our ego and our true nature. This physiological effect, alongside the divisive nature of social media and the polarisation around issues like vaccination, suggests a systematic approach to dulling societal consciousness and keeping people divided and manageable.
To transcend this designed state of living from the ego, a shift towards unity and self-awareness is essential. Remembering our core essence, which is pure, endless love—not merely as an emotion but as a state of being—is crucial. This love transcends the superficial divides and fear instilled by societal narratives. When we lose sight of this fundamental truth, we succumb to suffering. Embracing our innate capacity for love and unity, and recognising the artificial nature of division, can liberate us from the chains of ego-driven existence. In doing so, we not only reclaim our power and potential but also foster a society that values connection and authenticity over control and compliance.
Navigating the Polarised Landscape of Birth Choices: Beyond Black and White
In the world of childbirth, a deeply ingrained dichotomy exists between home births and hospital births, a reflection of our human tendency to seek black-and-white answers to complex questions. This polarised view not only oversimplifies the birth experience but also perpetuates division within the birth community. The quest for definitive proof of the superiority of one setting over the other often ignores the nuances and individual circumstances that make each birth unique.
The debate is frequently fuelled by selective reporting and sensationalism. For instance, when a tragedy occurs during a home birth, it can be seized upon by opponents as evidence of the inherent dangers of birthing outside a hospital setting. Conversely, the numerous instances where interventions in hospitals lead to negative outcomes rarely receive the same level of scrutiny or media attention, except in cases where a push for natural birth is blamed. This selective narrative creates a skewed perception of safety, risk, and choice in childbirth, leaving little room for a balanced discussion or appreciation of the broader context.
The crux of the issue lies not in proving the absolute safety of one birth setting over another; both home and hospital births carry inherent risks and benefits that can vary widely depending on individual circumstances. Instead, the challenge is to transcend the egoic constructs of black-and-white thinking that dominate the discourse. It's about encouraging critical thinking and soulful solutions that prioritise the well-being of mother and baby above all else.
This means asking oneself: "What do I truly believe? What does my instinct tell me?" It's about learning to quiet the external noise and fear-based narratives to connect with one's divine feminine intuition. This connection to intuition does not guarantee a specific outcome but rather guides one towards making choices that feel aligned with their gut instinct.
Ultimately, the goal is to move beyond the attachment to outcomes, recognising that the journey of birth, like life, is unpredictable and cannot be neatly categorised. By building a birth culture that respects and supports informed, individual choices—free from judgment and coercion—we can create a more unified and empowering environment for all birthing women. It's about finding one's path through a blend of knowledge, intuition, and trust, acknowledging that the true essence of making informed decisions lies in the courage to embrace the grey areas and the unknown.
Reconnecting with Intuition and Authenticity: Navigating Beyond "Just Be Yourself"
The advice to "just be yourself" can often sound like a cliché, especially when the journey to understanding and embracing one's intuition and authenticity is anything but straightforward. In the realm of childbirth and beyond, intuition is a profound inner knowing—a guide that, when listened to, rarely steers us wrong. The challenge lies not in the presence of intuition, but in our capacity to hear it amid the cacophony of external pressures and fears.
How to Reconnect with Your Intuition:
Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices are foundational for quieting the mind, allowing the noise of the external world and our internal fears to subside, making space for intuition to be heard.
Body Awareness: Tuning into the wisdom of the body through practices like yoga or even simple breathing exercises can heighten our intuitive senses.
Journaling: Writing can facilitate a dialogue with the self, uncovering intuitive insights buried under layers of social conditioning and expectations.
Nature Connection: Spending time in nature often strips away the complexities of modern life, helping us reconnect with our authentic selves and the inherent wisdom within.
Community and Support: Surrounding ourselves with individuals who honour their intuition can inspire and encourage us to do the same.
Exploring Our Childbirth Companion and Advocacy Course: Whether you're aspiring to become a birth practitioner, are pregnant, or simply wish to tap into your feminine power, our doula course is designed for more than just professional preparation. It's a profound journey into understanding childbirth and beyond, emphasising that no woman should be without this empowering knowledge. This educational journey transcends the boundaries of birth, aiming to offer every woman the opportunity to engage in deep personal work. By confronting and transcending your own limiting beliefs, you embark on a path of growth, authenticity, and the ability to assist others on their journey. To discover more about how this course can facilitate your transformation, or to learn about our transformational soul mentoring packages, I invite you to get in touch. This is an invitation to step into your power and redefine your journey.
Intelligence vs. Wisdom in Maternity Care
Intelligence, often quantified as the accumulation of knowledge and facts, plays a significant role in the maternity system. It's the foundation of evidence-based practices (or not so evidence based when it comes to maternity care, click here to learn more) and clinical guidelines that inform care. However, intelligence without wisdom—the deep, experiential understanding that integrates knowledge with empathy, intuition, and ethical considerations—can lead to a disconnection from the very essence of birth as a natural, instinctive process.
The maternity care system, with its reliance on standardised protocols, often mirrors a preference for intelligence over wisdom. This imbalance is reflected in the outcomes and pervasive fear surrounding birth, indicating a need for a more holistic approach that includes wisdom's insights.
Balancing Intelligence and Wisdom: A Path to Authentic Living
To balance intelligence and wisdom in maternity care and our lives, we can draw inspiration from thought leaders like Eckhart Tolle and Don Miguel Ruiz. Tolle's teachings on presence and consciousness remind us to connect with the now—a state where intuition thrives and authenticity is uncovered. Ruiz's Four Agreements provide a simple yet profound framework for living authentically:
Be impeccable with your word
Don’t take anything personally
Don’t make assumptions
Always do your best.
These agreements encourage integrity, open-mindedness, and self-reflection, aligning with the journey toward wisdom.
Balancing intelligence and wisdom means valuing and integrating both the factual knowledge acquired through learning and the deeper understanding that comes from experience, introspection, and empathy. In the context of maternity care, this balance allows for care that not only adheres to the best medical practices but also respects the individuality of each birth, honouring the intuition of birthing women and the wisdom of those who support them.
Living from a place of authenticity and remembering who we really are is an ongoing process of engaging with both our intelligence and wisdom. It's about making choices that resonate with our inner truths, stepping out of fear into love, and trusting the intuitive guidance that emerges from a place of genuine self-knowing. By embracing this integrated approach, we can navigate the complexities of life and childbirth with a sense of empowerment, connection, and peace.
Deepen your education
Are you preparing to welcome a new life into the world? Enrol in our Home Study Antenatal Course, meticulously crafted for expectant parents like you. This course offers a deep dive into the birthing process, equipping you with knowledge, confidence, and the tools to navigate your pregnancy and childbirth journey with empowerment and ease.
For Aspiring Birth Professionals: Our Accredited and Certified Doula Course
If your calling is to support and guide women through the transformative experience of childbirth, our accredited and certified Doula Course is your gateway. This comprehensive program provides in-depth training, practical skills, and the latest insights in birth support, preparing you for a fulfilling career as a certified doula.
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