And I will seek systems of abundance, care, joy, and LOVE...
(I’m over here sounding straight biblical😁)
Okay...confession - I’ve been hiding. I already don’t watch the news on TV...why? Because I’ve never cared for the horror genre.
I barely read the news I get as boiled-down emails in my inbox, where blurbs on genocides are printed alongside the latest celebrity clickbait. It feels too much like the early studies on behavioral conditioning I used to read in psychology classes: feed something horrific paired with something more palatable. The spoonful of sugar that helps the horror go down.
I stopped by my social media feed today. In full transparency, avoiding writing tasks led me there. Now my feeds are largely curated to give me a perspective from voices that are most often silenced... and you, dear reader, may be able to imagine what I found. Yup, it was horror. Things I don’t care to describe or link to that will most assuredly visit me in my sleep tonight.
As I began to notice myself numb-scrolling, I quickly closed the feed and reconnected with my body. Seasoned white beans and rice? yes please. Savory wings from THEE neighbor’s most recent delicious experiment? don’t mind if I do. Music? Janelle, Aisha, Remy, Victoria, Jamila, Danielle, Coco, Iniko, Tish...sing to me. I’ll do background vocals.
And as I came to I realized I had fallen into a familiar pattern. I was mainly focusing on systems of oppression. The horror. And I’d forgotten what I wanted to be doing - no not writing (I mean, yeah, that too), and I mean focusing on the systems of abundance1 (s/o Lori Cohen for the inspiring “generative dialogue”).
Also in my feed there had been laughter, dancing, clever jokes and memes from the very same voices that are most frequently ignored or extracted from. On Lynae Vanee’s Friday parking lot segment, Angelica Ross gave a beautiful read especially for the Black community - it had it all, humor, information, compassion, nuance and shade...oh the shade. *chef’s kiss*
Abundance. Care. Joy. Love. They were all there and I almost missed it because I was captivated by the horror. Realistic optimism (a term I first learned from
’s linked IG post, clearly I’m hooked 🤓 - check my last post) has been my practice these days. In this practice I aim to seek out systems of abundance, care, joy, and love, not exclusively oppression.Long before the human-made systems of oppression that thrive right now, that insist on someone’s subordination, these systems I strain to imagine life without... Before this, there have been systems of abundance, care, joy, and love...and they are still here. Among trees, non-human animals and humans. At this moment I’m thinking of folks indigenous to this land, now called the United States, who continue to sing, dance, call for collective liberation, and tend to the Earth, in spite of the fact that many of us on this land still celebrate their near erasure on an annual basis, and often without hesitation. To me that is a clear example of turning towards abundance, care, joy, and love.
Now I’ve heard and read that humans have a ‘negativity bias', an inclination to seek out what is “negative”. I don’t want to go into the research and analysis that has led folks to this theory. Even as a researcher and a PhD (yeah, I flexed), folks who know me know I have a complicated relationship with academic “research”. And that’s another post. And the theory of ‘negativity bias’ in conversation with the practice of ‘realistic optimism’ has me wondering.
My wonderings:
- When I skew toward noticing the negative, and focus on what is going “wrong”, is that because that’s the muscle I’ve exercised most? The behavior I practice most frequently?
- In what ways can I deepen my ‘realistic optimism’ practice: fully acknowledging the cruel, painful, unhelpful human systems of oppression and resulting human behaviors that are the same, and still choose to give my attention to systems of abundance, care, joy and love?
adrienne maree brown in ‘emergent strategy’ offers several principles on page 41-2, two of which are:
what [I] pay attention to grows
small is good, small is all (The large is a reflection of the small.)
It gives me pause. ...and leads me to my bonus fun.
My Bonus Fun Beyond Reflection: I’m going to spend some time this weekend actively searching for the systems of abundance, care, joy, and love around me. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to cue into it... and a dear friend recently wondered with me if calling something into our awareness is sometimes enough of a first step (s/o Phoenix Pod).
I guess I’ll start there…with awareness in my personal relationships. Because “what I pay attention to grows” and as small as that step may seem, “small is good, small is all,” AND I am the lever in this world of which I have the most control to bring about real change.
YOU’RE INVITED...
If you care to play along with me and go scavenging for treasure in your own life:
Where are the areas in your life that you are particularly sensitive to or drawn to only noticing “what’s wrong”? In your partnerships? With the young people you’re caring for? At work? In yourself? 👀
When are you working that “negativity bias” muscle?
How often are you seeking systems of abundance, care, joy, and love? (And not as a numbing agent or toxic positivity - ignoring or shielding yourself from all that is cruel, or invalidating pain... rather as a conscious choice.)
Amber J Phillips is the first scholar whose work I encountered who invited reflection on abundance conceptually