September 2021
After searching for Ralph's address in the online White Pages, Fred decided to include this note in a "first-time-ever" birthday card to Ralph:
Happy birthday, Ralph:
If my memory serves me right, you have a birthday sometime in September. So, here's to you, "young man" – what they still call me here at Green Gardens because, at 78, I still have half a head of (mostly gray) hair when most of our friends are bald. I'm assuming you're between 75 and 90. Still young. 84 here is prime time.
Sue and I sold our condo in Milwaukee right before COVID hit while we were coming back from Florida as snowbirds for the last time. We moved to Minneapolis to be near my family (a sister, two nephews and a niece plus their kids – most of them 20 minutes away).
We're in a new graduated-care high rise. From our 10th floor apartment, we can see the Gopher football stadium, built 10 years ago. So, we're right next to the UM-Minneapolis campus and a block from a light rail station where we can catch a train to downtown St. Paul or Minneapolis, our doctors, dentists and so on.
We still have a car (in a heated garage) but drive only 1,000 miles a year. Both Sue and I use mobility scooters to get around campus and on the light rail system. So, we don't really need a car, which we'll probably sell in a couple of years. Sue is gradually seeing that next transition, too, now that things are opening in our neighborhood after COVID (a grocery store across the street, a new food hall – with a large bar – two blocks over, a new distillery with three bars three blocks away and a large beer garden next to the distillery). Sue enjoys mixing with the college crowd and the kids in the daycare center that is part of our building.
So, we like it in cold (sometimes hot) Minneapolis and gladly pay the extra taxes we need to fork over just because we crossed the border between Wisconsin and Minnesota. Yes, us Democrats still love to pay taxes.
Thanks again for helping make all this possible. You took a big chance on me when giving individuals with a disability an opportunity to grow in their jobs was not the norm. You gave me the life Sue and I (and many others who were once under your wing) are enjoying today.
Sincerely.
Fred
A couple of days later, Fred and Sue received this typically succinct reply from Ralph:
Dear Fred:
It was great to hear from you. At 86, I have very little hair. It takes about 10 minutes to get my hair cut.
Sounds like you and Sue have a good plan in place with family and needed services close by.
Many great memories from the past. The trip to Home Dairy is my number 1.
I didn't take a chance on you because you have special skills. You proved yourself in everyday performance.
Best to you and Sue.
Ralph and Carol
October 2021
With family at his side, Ralph died at home of a massive heart attack.
Fred’s takeaway tip from Episode 5: Pursue closure before it’s too late.
Here’s to elderhood and vulnerability!
Jim Hasse, ABC, GCDF retired, author of “Opening Up” newsletter
“Story-guided Discussion for Finding Peace with Age-related Limitations”
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During the last 35 years, Fernando has touched bases with his extended family in Brazil, received treatment in a medical facility in Russia, pursued college degrees at Georgetown and Cornell, held jobs in Manhattan, in Zurich and with UNICEF.
In 1999, a young Fernando was instrumental in selecting me, at 56 years old, as senior content developer for eSight Careers Network, a website for The Associated Blind, Inc., New York City (some six blocks from the 911 towers). His encouragement helped me launch my second, 17-year career as an accredited Global Career Development Facilitator.
With the help of technology, Fernando and I have kept in touch with each other during 25 of those 35 years. He is visually impaired and I have cerebral palsy.
In an email discussion about five years ago, I had an opportunity to thank him for giving me the platform for publishing my ideas about disability employment when I really needed it.
Little did I know, at the time, that the esight.org website would lead to development of “Opening Up” interactive newsletter as we now know it in 2023.
* When did you strengthen a relationship with another person before it was too late?
I suspected this series was a mini professional bio. Thank you for sharing it with us. Not only did I enjoy your walk through some of your work experiences and related learnings, it brought back many memories of my former work-a-day world. Thank you so much, Jim