The most important step in your healing journey is sitting down with difficult and unresolved emotions, and moving past them.
This allows your mind to let go of the clutter slowly, and your soul will have the space to shine through the ups and downs.
There are a few emotions that are really hard to move through, and they can be so sneaky and come back every so often.
One of those emotions is jealousy!
We all feel jealous at some point in our lives.
Whether we see a car or a house we like, or a body-image, or even the mere attention of a specific person.
I believe jealousy, just like anger, is not a “bad” emotion. It’s simply a sign, just like all the other feelings we experience.
What makes jealousy problematic is when our world starts to unconsciously/consciously revolve around that emotion.
The reason that is problematic is that jealousy, anger, resentment, and difficult emotions like that come from a place of fight or flight rather than grounded safety!
When our brain perceives that we are in danger, it turns on fight or flight mode to keep us safe. However, in cases of difficult emotions, we aren’t actually in danger, yet our brain gives the exact same reaction as being attacked by a tiger.
As a result, we become unable to respond to the situation in the best possible manner.
So what can we do with these difficult emotions?
As mentioned in the beginning, we need to move through the emotions by grounding into the uncomfortable feelings.
I have come up with a very simple and effective 3 step journey to help when these difficult emotions come up.
The only important note is:
These 3 steps become much more effective when you find the root experience that is causing you to feel jealous, angry, resentful, and etc, as an adult.
For example, I used to get very resentful and jealous towards people who worked out and had tone bodies. I brushed it off by saying that those people are pretentious. But the reality was that I was emotionally beaten up as a child for being chubby and not working out, and I was consistently forced into participating in physical activities and diets that I hated.
As a result, that unaddressed trauma had caused me to resent a healthy lifestyle and be unable to stick to one.
So, if you need to sit down and find the root cause of your difficult emotion, I advise you to do so patiently and kindly. And remember that you have the power to break out of those mind-made pains, and forgive others for not knowing any better.
(More on this in future writings)
What are the three steps to move through jealousy?
1. Reality Check
Jealousy is almost always a sign that you desire something, but you have also blocked your own way from getting it!
How? Your brain has either told you that you are unable, or that you don’t deserve it. Both of those narratives are strong enough to make you believe that something isn’t possible for you in your current reality.
Now, jealousy happens when your soul knows that it indeed IS possible for you, and you indeed want it deep within you!
So, it’s like a sign that you’ve got some mind-made blocks to get rid of.
It is important to come to this reality that jealousy is your soul’s signal to you to work through some unresolved blocks and get what you truly desire.
Acknowledge this before your brain tries to get rid of the jealousy using fight or flight responses.
2. Let Go
In this step, you need to address the blocks that your mind has made. You need to go deep within you and kindly allow yourself to let go of the blocks that are holding you back.
The best way to do that is to find the root, kindly hug your past self for experiencing that, and even more kindly forgive anyone who was involved.
That way, you start to create space for a new narrative of the reality you desire.
3. Replace
Now it’s time to create a new narrative.
Change those mind blocks into beautiful mantras that allow you to grow and heal.
An example could be: “I am capable of creating the reality that I desire. I hear my soul and let go of my mind’s limitations. I grow and heal every single day. And I attract the growth energies.”
A very powerful way to embody your new narrative and continue to let go of the old blocks (until they don’t come back again), is to meditate on your mantra(s).
Take five to ten minutes to feel the shift and the new perspective through your body and in your environment.
Remember, jealousy, just like every other emotion, is simply a sign from your soul. Don’t try to push it away. Embrace it with all of its discomfort and move towards growth.
P.S. You are so beautiful.
Love this one, Pegah! As usual! I don’t think any emotions are “bad.” I totally agree. But some of them are bad for us to dwell on/in. Staying with our positive mantras and thoughts helps. And when it comes to jealousy, I like to think of the positive things in my life that might inspire jealousy in others. We’re all different and the grass isn’t usually greener!