Wednesday evening, May 17th at approx 9pm.
It’s hard to believe four days ago I was tripping on mushrooms watching MGMT and M83, among other indie sleaze era acts. Today, I was crying at work (actually in my home office) after a very strange day and week at my remote job. Last Friday there were layoffs at the company. Luckily I was not laid off, but I’m still only contract after seven months. Health insurance and PTO are not looking good at this point. But this past Saturday? Fucking epic, man.
I was going to go to the Just Like Heaven fest in Pasadena by myself. My new status quo. This time I was actually looking forward to going alone. The line up was too good and I didn’t want to compromise. I wanted to smoke a little dope, and float from act to act on my schedule. But you know, it slips out that you’re going and suddenly people are interested. One of my girlfriends showed a little interest at first, but then was wishy washy. I said, look, I’m on a mission from God. Either you’re all in or you’re out. She wasn’t in.
But then my 27-year-old neighbor (who I sometimes make out with in his hot tub) texted me about hanging out. Last week was a doozy and I just couldn’t, and then I mentioned in passing I’m going to this festival on Saturday. I didn’t think he would want to go. On Friday around 5pm, he texted me, asking if I wanted a dance partner. I thought, maybe. I mean, it would definitely be more fun going with someone and he’s a fun guy. So I said, for sure. Like a true Millennial, he got back to me later at about 9:30pm with some vague response, that neither confirmed nor denied whether he was coming or not.
The next morning I tried to text back in Millennial speak, did you spank it? Meaning, did you buy the ticket? Are you coming or not? I’m leaving in two goddamn hours, effing let me know. He said he was about to spank it right now.
The 27-year-old is a blonde, 6’2 former waterpolo player. He’s very mature for his age. Owns his condo and runs his own business. Looks more like he’s 35 than 27. He’s apparently also a former Boy Scout and currently an avid festival goer, so he was prepared. And was happy to carry my fleece for later in his backpack, pack cold drinks for tailgating prior to the festival, and bring shrooms. I was also prepared with my new weed pen I had just bought at a dispensary in Port Hueneme.
I wanted to get there in time to see Strfkr, but besides the drive down to LA, it took about an hour just to get into the prepaid parking lot, which was literally the golfing green at the Rose Bowl. By then, I knew I was going to miss Strfkr, but I wasn’t super bummed, more annoyed. Even more annoying was that the parking I spent 25 bucks on was like two miles from the entrance to the festival. As soon as I parked I took a hit off the vape, and started coughing. Then the 27-year-old gave me a little bit of shrooms and we unknowingly started our long ass journey to the entrance of Just Like Heaven, walking past the entire festival and also peeing in between cars and behind trees on the way because there were no porta potties.
When we finally got to the entrance, security basically waved us in and didn’t even look in our bags. But the vibe was off inside. I was tired, thirsty, it was hot as fuck, and the crowd seemed to feel as eh as me. Probably because it was such a pain in the ass to get in for a one day festival. I just kept thinking, this better be worth it.
We walked past Azealia Banks playing on the Stardust Stage near the entrance. I’ve heard the name, but don’t know her music at all so I suggested we check out the other side of the festival where Ladytron was playing the Orion Stage was. Orion was the main stage, and it was big and grand looking with three massive screens. I was impressed. Ladytron was already playing, but the crowd was super mellow and still pretty eh.
The 27-year-old immediately started dancing, and I was feeling pretty spacey by then so I started dancing too. I could feel the mushrooms coming on a little bit. A giant beetle landed on my arm and scared the shit out of me, and then fell into the grass where I immediately became concerned with its safety. But there was nothing I could do to save it, it scuttled away from me in a hurry. I noticed a girl in front of us had an iced coffee and I told the 27-year-old I have to get an iced coffee after this set. We ended up leaving early to search for the iced coffee tent. I hate to say it, but Ladytron was underwhelming.
Couldn’t find the iced coffee. Instead got an iced tea concoction that tasted very refreshing. That literally saved me and we headed towards the Stardust Stage where Fever Ray was playing. Fever Ray is the former lead singer of The Knife, now dressed like the Joker meets 80s Bowie. We sat down in some shade under a big tree. It was almost 4pm by then and it was the first time I had been able to take a breath all day. I watched Fever Ray on the big screen, who put on an enticingly strange and fucking weird show. I sucked on my iced tea, entranced, cause I love freaks and good music.
I was sad when the set ended, but I decided sitting in the shade whilst relaxing was a good time to take a super deep hit off my vape. I immediately started coughing again, my lungs feeling like they were coated with weed oil, and possibly bleeding inside. “Jesus Christ,” I kept coughing. Eventually, after that subsided, I had a fleeting sense of euphoria. I informed the 27-year-old I had asked for happy weed at the dispensary, and they recommended this hybrid, and it was pretty spot on, but my chest. Goddamn, my lungs burned, and they felt tight and congested. I started to panic. What if I fucked up my lungs? What if the hit was too deep? Can a hit be too deep? My lungs don’t feel right. What if I need the medics? Will I make to lunch at Outback for Mother’s Day tomorrow?
People were walking by. A lot of people. There was a group of girls and guys dressed in aerobics gear sitting near us, that at first I found endearing, and then I began to despise. A young guy wore a tight gold one piece leotard that I could only imagine made his balls hurt like hell (why would he do that? I wondered, disturbed). I fixated on a completely normal looking guy walking by on my left and felt my reality shift to a dimension that looked the same, but felt completely foreign and not right, and that’s when I thought, oh fuck…this isn’t good.
Read Part 2 here.