Culture Wars Compared to Family Member Gripes
An Analogy Mapping Gender and Age Stereotypes to the U.S. Political Compass
Family Decision-making and Debate
A discussion of where to go on vacation has blown up into a family fight. Things are being said that everyone has thought for a long time, but now they’re saying it out loud.
Dad is complaining that the teens are a bunch of whiners and complainers. He’s worked his ass off to provide for the family and they don’t appreciate it. Dad says it should be a rule that only the kids who do their homework and chores get to come on vacation, and who dye their hair back a normal color.
Mom says that’s ridiculous. She said they could be denied allowance, but you can’t make them stay home from the family trip. Mom wonders if maybe they are struggling at school because they got bullied or the school isn’t a good fit. She asks, has Dad even thought about what challenges they are going thru? Even tho she’s defending them, the teens are slightly peeved at mom because she’s never around. She’s committed to her work and volunteering.
The vegan daughter accuses dad like he is personally destroying the planet and ruining her life. She’d prefer to go live in the woods and eat roots and berries. In return, dad is apoplectic about her going to astrology readings and venturing unprotected into the woods, and worse, into some seedy parts of town. Why can’t she just be into pop singers and pizza, something normal? Plus she says she doesn’t need to make good grades because she’s planning on going to art school. Most days she and dad have nothing positive to say to each other, so they mostly don’t talk. She gets along better with mom because mom defends her.
The older son is dropping out of the sports team, hanging out online with—according to dad—losers who can’t compete in school or anything else. The son thinks it doesn’t take a college education to make a good life. He can’t even talk to his parents anymore except for the minimum needed to keep them off his back, because they wouldn’t understand. They are so unaware of his world that any discussion turns into an argument.
The parents want their children to adopt their values, because life has worked out pretty well for them. The teens of course want to be on their own already, out of the house, but they don’t have the legal status or resources to live on their own. Mom and dad know the teens might not have a chance to be parents themselves if they go it alone and drop all the advantages the parents can give them for starting out in life.
Eventually, in a few decades, the parents may have to rely on their children to make important decisions for them as they age. They want to encourage the teens’ independence and sense of contribution, so they have family votes sometimes, like where to go on vacation. Mom wants to go on a cruise because there she wouldn’t have to worry about the children getting lost or abducted. But she actually would prefer a staycation so they could spend the money on upgrading some of the appliances that are on their way out. The son wants to go to his uncle’s remote cabin where they can fish. He is willing to be dragged along somewhere else only if there’s consistent wifi connection to escape into his online world, so he’s okay with a cruise. Dad doesn’t care where they go as long as there are conveniences, no mosquitos, and it’s not too hot. Vacation should be comfortable and fun. The daughter wants to go on a trip that involves humanitarian service, to justify the fossil fuel use of air travel. Mosquitos and hot weather are part of her dream vacation. She is okay with the cabin but refuses to be part of the conspicuous consumption the family is used to, and especially not a cruise ship, since they all dump trash in the oceans, legally and illegally. The vacation decision vote isn’t working out so well.
This conflict is one way to see the national political debate. We are like a family that has different strengths and roles, different agendas, and different worldviews. We’ll do better supporting each other, but fighting has become a habit we can’t seem to get out of. Winning shouldn’t be about getting your way. Winning could be about getting clear to make workable decisions together, a compromise that isn’t ideal for anyone, but is at least workable for everyone.
Pew Research Center Political Types Matched to Traditional Roles
It was Jordan Peterson’s idea that the government-focused liberal establishment (Democrats) take on the mom-like role of distributing resources with care for well-being of all, while the business-focused conservative establishment (Republicans) take on the dad-like role of creating and providing resources. A Pew Research Center survey of the U.S. general public, in 2021, showed clusters of political beliefs and values. The origin of these Pew labels and type descriptors are detailed in an earlier post. In the quadrants below, only a few snippets of characterizations of the Pew types are included, to emphasize the relevance to the family analogy.
Repeat of Quadrants Content
This section repeats the writing in the quadrants, for any who have difficulty reading in that format. Groups are presented in order of political party size.
Auth-Left Quadrant
Traditional mom role matches quadrant
• Collects and distributes resources
• Maintains external relationships
Pew type: Democratic mainstays
• Older…
• … social safety net
Pew type: Establishment liberals
• Recognize societal ills … but change should come from laws and institutions
• More likely to back compromise
Auth-Right Quadrant
Traditional dad role matches quadrant
• Provider (business focus)
• Protector (military focus)
Pew type: Committed conservatives
• Pro-business
Pew type: Faith and flag conservatives
• … older age … older age
Lib-Right Quadrant
Traditional son role
• Question authority
• Adapt role of provider and protector to emerging new contexts
Pew type: Populist right
• Negative view of public education
Pew type: Ambivalent right (aka Dissident right)
• Young…
• Want limited government [resists restraint by authority figures]
• Provider (business focus)
Lib-left (Green) Quadrant
Traditional daughter role
• Be delightful and attractive
• Provide entertainment such as music and visual arts
Pew type: Progressive left
• Young …
• Extremely liberal policy positions
Pew type: Outsider left
• Especially liberal on issues of race, immigration, and climate
• Not thrilled with Dems or Republicans [establishment authority figures]