There are a few types of men who claim they understand women.
Type 1.
This type says he dates a lot, therefore he’s an expert on women. #Scoff Don’t make me laugh.
TRANSLATION:
Type 1 has a lot of experiences with women, it’s possible he’s very good at “managing” women. But this is not the same as understanding women, do not conflate the two.
Type 2.
This type has been around a lot of women his entire life, exposure in different scenarios with females of various ages. For example, a man who has a lot of sisters, grew up with girl cousins, many female friends, has daughters, been married. He’s been around girls as a kid and women as an adult, in both platonic and romantic situations.
TRANSLATION:
Type 2 has exposure to a lot of different women in varying life cycle timeframes, this is very telling. This means that this man has seen the raw side of women, example would be when they cry over a man aka who is NOT him and he sees what that looks like. This is the difference between Type 1 and Type 2, the former type thinks that because he experiences the romantic end of things he knows women, but the latter type knows how women think based on NOT being the target of affection. It’s a different dynamic, more realistic and also more raw. The extended exposure over time is also very important, playing with your sisters as a kid, interacting with your female cousins as you grow up, seeing your own daughters reactions, gives this man a realistic sense of how women think and act. The key is experiencing many life scenarios where you are also an observer. For example, seeing how that woman reacts to a man rejecting her vs being the man in that exact relationship. It’s a different dynamic. If you see life scenarios play out in work, love, life where you are NOT the focal point (aka the boss, the boyfriend, the friend) then you can really get a feel for how women think and act, at it’s most honest. You know what she really thought of the boss (because you aren’t her boss), you know how sad she really was with that break up (because you aren’t the boyfriend), you know how she really feels about her dad (because you aren’t her dad). You need both, experiences as a focal person in a woman’s life and also experiences where you are more the observer with your female friends and family. You understand women with more depth when you are NOT the focal point because you get to see the raw, perhaps more unfiltered and in different contexts.
Type 3
Type 3 cares about women.
TRANSLATION:
You meet this man, you’ve met a winner. Whether he’s your boss, your male friend, your cousin or your romantic love interest, the man who gives a $!&! about women will truly try to understand women.
Ok, so of the 3 types of men who claim to understand women, I think that the second and third types can be taken seriously. The first type is a damn joke. #EyeRoll
Women, my tip for you. Always include in your life the type of man who cares about women, type 3.
This is the guy who will have your back #FRIEND
Stand up for you at work #COLLEAGUE
Be the love in your life #PARTNER
Men who care about women are Alpha. Men who care about the women in their life and also their children, will seek to protect them, this is masculinity on display. Always look for this type, the man who cares. Toss men to the curb, who don’t give a $!&! about you, they neither deserve your time nor attention.
And me, perhaps there are a few men who think they understand me. I only trust the men who truly care about me, that is the litmus test.
This picture is of me right now, writing this baby substack. It’s so much fun delving into the interpersonal dynamics of relationships. I do it for my work, I’m a Therapist and I own my Life Coach. My substack is my baby, I love it. I hope you enjoy my take on #Relationships #Love #Lust and all that jazz!
My best friend of 24 years is a woman of high intellect who took two years to accept me in that capacity and now trusts me totally. I told her if I have her trust I am just an inch away from her love. She said nothing. It was and is true.
As to you Rachel you are a real woman. Precious. Rare. Feminine. Too bad I were not a hundred years younger.
You could flip this around, and ask about women that understand, value, and care about men. Have you done that?
In my own experience, the vast majority of women think that only the woman is the prize - that men have to woo her and please her endlessly. There is no concept that the man is also the prize.
The only kind of woman that I will associate with are the non-feminist women that respect and validate men. Here is an example of one: she asks, "Are men loved"? As an example, she cites that dying men call for their mothers, not their wife or girlfriend, as that was the only woman that loved him unconditionally.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cKhA2w6-R8