Disconnecting from Modern Culture and Media
Giving myself the space for major shifts in self understanding and consciousness.
It has been a while since I have written here. I have been writing in more of a short form, observation and note taking style. Research documentation in real time of my daily life patterns while I integrate my new understanding of self. An understanding of which is always changing and evolving based on the events of any given day. Observing my own state of being juxtaposed against what I have learned in meditation and self inquiry, books read, conversations had and subsequent processing of all the the above. This is the soup of the in between. The time when all the parts are there and visible, but not yet the final blend of flavors, nuanced spices various nutritional sustenances.
I could not heal from reading books but I could gain the knowledge needed to heal myself. I couldn’t heal if I was clouded by the fog of others, misplaced and camping out in my head without my consent. At some point, a filter is needed so you can see yourself and your own life as clear as it is, moment by moment. Day by day. The truth of it all.
Disconnect to connect.
Something in my being knew it was time for me to disconnect in order to connect, connect the dots of my life, to connect directly to the people in my life. In the morning moments of late October, I was laying on my heating pad, breathing into my belly, thinking of how “I need to do this everyday”. As I lay there I get a text message from my beautiful friend who asks if I would like a Tarot card pulled for me. I said “of course!”.
She pulled the Hermit. I felt this card in my whole body. I listened.
I knew it was time for me to disconnect. This is very different from disconnecting in the form of dissociation, something I understand well. By disconnecting, I mean removing myself from the larger cultural way of being. It did not mean I was not part of it, it actually meant that I could become part of the REAL. Real life, not on screens or filtered through social media. If I wanted to heal fully, to become whole, I needed to stop fracturing myself by the thoughts, need and crisis of those in my digital life and of the world at large. I made the best decision for myself and I did not tell anyone I was going to do it. I just left.
Just saying no to all of that was incredibility empowering in itself. I have the choice of what I allow in and just because everyone else is cool with “doom scrolling” and or sharing their most poignant beautiful thoughts to their least thought out reactions, does not mean I need to be a part of it. I can say, “I’d rather not. No thanks”. The best and yet disheartening part of social media is, it easy to just drop out and no one even cares because it wasn’t real to begin with. Just as quickly as you can drop in, you can drop out. No authentic connection to be found.
What happens when you leave the internet? Life becomes real. That shift, is real.
Our world in made in our minds. If I or any one person is living in a world created by others, consuming thoughts and rational of others, I was not seeing my own mind clearly. Taking a step back, a large leap back, to get the full picture of my life could not happen unless I looked directly into my own consciousness as I moved through my particular life and this current season for me. The one life, I am actually truthfully living.
When you leave social media, there is a large space you can use to connect on a more authentic level. Think of all the time spent on screens for various needs. Add all that time up and add it to the bucket of time you spend listening to your soul. Listening in silence to the whispers or who you are and who you have always been. What a gift that we are all in the power to give ourselves.
Instead of turning the tv on, or another podcast or searching for that next book. Instead of going shopping or checking off the “to dos”. If we add up all that time for even just a couple days, what a gift or self insight and space to breathe.
Space….the gift is quiet space. Whatever you hear in that space is a mystery to me and to you. Don’t we all love a mystery?
Life becoming whole.
Over the next undetermined amount of months I will be sharing my insights, modalities and observations on healing myself, how my particular path has worked. Individual healing, becoming whole, is nuanced and exactly that, individual. Each persons story, their life lived is the beginning of the path that needs to be taken. One must know their own story to understand how to become whole.
Our “job” or purpose as humans, in my mind, is only one thing, to know ourselves. To understand who we are and where we came from. Behind the stories we adopted, culture we grew up in and coping mechanisms we developed is the truth of who we are. But this concept, must be understood within each expression of human, on their own path, in their own way. There is no formula to becoming whole but there is a lot of help out there to find your own concoction of what resonates with you.
Grounded in self understanding and confident in my own healing agency I wish to pass knowledge along. Wisdom shared from my personal experience but full of heart and deep understanding of our human struggle, knowing that each other, need a little support on our path to wholeness. Perhaps someone stumbling through will stumble their way here and find solace and that next step forward.
With kindness,
Rae
I feel all of your words. I have been teetering on the edge of disconnecting. I’m not sure why I haven’t done it yet. I think it is the path for me though... but also want to acknowledge the need to be seen by quality community. And where to find this when we all live such isolated lives. Appreciate you x
I'd wondered where you'd gone off to - your little Hermit cave. As a Hermit life card, I understand fully and support you fully. And I agree, no one really cares when we disappear from the internet. Over the last year and a half I've gone through a similar death after leaving Instagram for good. The "friends" I thought would be there after...weren't. And that is OK because the people in the real life are still there. :) Sending you lots of love. :)