H.V. Patterson touches on a hot button issue in her flash fiction piece, “Unexplained.” This short story can be found in the horror issue of Flash Fiction Online. Below is a quick summary of the story:
Amanda’s ring finger falls off, no reason, just pops off
Doctors are no help. They don’t believe her story
Just as Amanda grows accustomed to having lost her finger, her daughter suffers a similar fate
And of course, the brief summary doesn’t do Patterson’s story justice. It’s a super quick read, check it out (there are definite spoilers in this review).
There is a real skill in prose, plot, character development, and all other forms of craft when writing a flash fiction piece. Flash fiction is traditionally a story with no more than 1,000 words. “Unexplained” is a complete story (beginning, middle, and end) told in 925 words!
You got to get right to it
There is no space for prologues and flowery world building in flash. Patterson doesn't mess around with her story’s first lines:.
One second: I have ten fingers
The next: I have nine.
We are left with questions immediately, as a reader. What happened to her tenth finger? And then we learn that it’s not what we expect. The finger wasn’t cut off, it fell off.
Imagery
I really enjoyed Patterson’s use of imagery in this story. Strong imagery is necessary in flash fiction, since there is no time or space for world building. Scene, voice, and character development need to happen simultaneously.
The protagonist, Amanda, has a relatable voice. She’s just your average wife, mother (could also be a sister and friend). She’s got a dark sense of humor, where the story of her cutting her finger off (if that was what actually happened) would become a “morbidly funny story at the office Holiday party.” I’d be her friend and would share my own morbidly funny medical fiascos from my life.
Months later, a morbidly funny story to tell at the office Holiday party, the jagged scar a ring branded into my flesh.
I also found the description of Amanda’s wedding ring to be tragically beautiful. “The two-carat diamond winks up at [her] from its nest of tiny red rubies.” While it is made clear that there was no blood, we still get that horrific image of red in the ring’s rubies.
She created vivid imagery with sound too (Is it imagery when describing sound? What else would it be called?). Amanda’s husband, Bashir, screams “like a rabbit caged in a hawk’s talons.” That’s not a scream you want to hear
Characters
Characters need to be limited in flash fiction, typically one to two characters. That’s all there’s room for in such a short piece. There isn’t any lengthy descriptions of character appearance and attitudes. Everything in a flash fiction piece needs to be multi-tasking. With that being said, rules are made to be broken and “Unexplained” has three characters worth noting.
I already mentioned the protagonist, Amanda. We get to know Amanda through her narration since she is the point of view character.
Bashir is Amanda’s husband. We get to know him through the dialogue (again, multi-tasking. His dialogue moves the plot along as well as reveals his character). Bashir is a supportive husband who fights for his wife.
…he waves dismissively.
“Photoshop.”
“It’s not!” Bashir snaps.
Ruya, the daughter, is the only character that we get descriptions of her looks. Ruya is “five, but small for her age” with “honey-colored eyes”. I really felt for Amanda through her relationship with her daughter. Ruya is hurt by Amanda pulling her four-fingered hand away from hers, another hit to Amanda’s peril. And Patterson was intentional with Ruya’s description (forever multi-tasking!). We see her eyes, and in the end, that is the part of her that disappears.
End on Emotions
Flash fiction typically ends on an emotional note. It packs a punch that sticks with the reader and makes them think. “Unexplained” ends with the daughter being the next victim of this unexplained phenomenon, even more horrific than losing a finger. She loses her eyes. What will the doctors say now?
Theme: Women vs Doctors
I opened by talking about the hot button issue H.V. Patterson addresses in this flash fiction: the way women are treated by medical professionals. We see this with the first doctor they visit not looking at or directly addressing Amanda. He only speaks to Bashir. While the second doctor speaks to Amanda, she is dismissed as a “hysterical” woman who needs psychological help.
While there have been leaps and bounds made in the medical industry, old habits are hard to break. Women’s pain is often dismissed by medical professionals, leading to delay in treatment or lack of treatment. While I can’t do this topic justice, you can read about the issue:
Doctors discuss why women are gaslit by their doctors (I found their answers very interesting)
This is an international issue, with studies showing disparities between male and female treatment in Europe, the United States, and many other places around the world.
This is a complex topic. I haven’t even scratched the surface here! Caroline Criado-Perez is a great resource. I loved her book, Invisible Women
Conclusion
I think Patterson’s short story is a great example of the power of speculative fiction. Using fantasy and horror as a metaphor to address the real world creates impactful images and messages for readers. Patterson does this in her flash fiction piece. We follow Amanda through her fear and helplessness and we’re left with little hope for her and her daughter by the end of the tale. The medical industry failed their small family (though, there malady left them with little hope!)
Another example of a short story that uses the speculative fiction genre (scifi specifically) to address real world issues is Emily J. Weisenberger’s short story, “Viable.” I don’t have any plans to review Weisenberger’s story, but that was a story that legitimately terrified me as she explored the future world of women’s abortion rights (or lack there of). I couldn’t find a free version of “Viable.” You can find the story in Issue 4 of The Vanishing Point.
About the Author
H.V. Patterson is a writer and blogger. You can read about her latest projects here. She also reviews horror stories written by women on her website Dreadfulesque/
And for those writers out there, if you want more information about flash fiction, here are two resources that I find helpful: