Relatively Minor
Laughter does not have to come from a major source. It could indeed be … relatively minor.
Back in the day, I remember my parents scolding me for jumping on the bed – a passion I thought would take me to Olympic glory. Unfortunately, my dreams of becoming a gold-medal gymnast were cut short by my parents’ strict no-jumping policy.
If that wasn’t enough, I also had to endure their disapproving looks when I flopped down on the sofa with a bowl of ice cream. They feared not for my safety but for the frame and springs of the couch and its ability to cushion the blow. Heaven forbid if a rogue scoop of the frozen dessert landed on the fabric and stained the sanctity of their beloved furniture. Our collection of furnishings provided hours of entertainment, from balance-beam walking on the back of the loveseat to bobsledding down the staircase on cushions.
Last week, I went to Bob’s Discount Furniture store in West Des Moines. My main motivation for going there was to meet the store’s spokes-puppet, Bob. He comes alive in their commercials, so I thought it would be fun to see him in person. Unfortunately, the sales staff told me Bob rarely visits the store. So another salesman offered to assist me as I searched for recliners and matching end tables. In the near future, I’d like to update my current living room ensemble to one that’s more dog-friendly – to prevent my two-and-a-half-year-old from sinking her teeth into it.
“Oh, how times have changed.”
The showroom contained “dumb recliners” (manually operated) and the “smarter versions” (with a mind of their own). And, I am pretty sure my mother would have never allowed a couch with two cup holders in her living room. Frankly, I am not sure it would be conducive in my home either. My dogs already devour the furniture. Why cater to them by providing a spot for their drinks?
On that day, I was only window shopping and had not intended to purchase anything. We finished our tour next to the Cozy Bob massage chair as the salesman described its features: multiple remote-controlled heated massage settings, automatic shoulder height detection, and two zero-gravity recliner positions, with a layer of Bob-O-Pedic Memory Foam.
I was a little intimidated by the futuristic design that made it look like something straight out of a sci-fi movie or Dr. Frankenstein’s basement. Additionally, it had two built-in USB ports and arm, leg, and shoulder enclosures. It was like a high-tech charging station but for your body! Despite all this, I was hesitant to buy since the price tag was two grand beyond my budget. But then again, who am I to say no to a full charge and a layer of memory foam?
www.winterset.madisonian.com / Member of the Iowa Writers Collaborative
I look forward to the introduction of the Olympic "Sofa Flopping with a Bowl of Ice Cream" event - I think I have a solid chance to medal.