You know a movie is too long when your flatmate falls asleep and a couple walks out of the cinema before it’s even finished, writes Re: News journalist Zoe Madden-Smith.
Especially with the price of movie tickets these days - the walk out is a bold statement. But I get it. Mentally, I’ve left too.
I went and saw Dune 2 last week and don’t get me wrong, it’s a stunning movie. The way it’s shot and the incredible locations are enough of a reason to go and see it.
But fuck, it was long.
I want to preface this rant by making it clear I am no film buff. I’m not out here critically analysing the plot or cinematography of movies. All I want is to go to the cinema, be entertained and not feel like I’m desperately trying to keep my eyes open waiting for it to finally finish.
But more and more I feel like this is happening. And I swear it’s not my attention span to blame. Movies are just getting way too long.
Dune 2 is two hours and 46 minutes. Oppenheimer (don’t even get me started on Oppenheimer) is three hours long. And the latest Hunger Games is two hours and 38 minutes.
These movies had me intrigued for a while. But eventually - probably somewhere around the two-hour mark - the plot, the costumes and the music feels like a waste because I’m just wondering when it’s all going to end.
If it was up to me all movies would be 90 minutes long - or two hours if you really thought that extra half hour would change the world.
But at the moment it feels like two hours is the minimum, and three hours is the new goal.
Honestly, I think it’s an egotistical and cocky trend. It feels like directors are breaking the mold for no good reason, just to prove they can.
When you finish a movie in a cinema, the first thing you should do is think, ‘fuck that was good’.
And then you have your main character moment as you walk out the cinema, feeling like you have a brand new personality or outlook on life.
But these days, the first thing I see when I look over is my friend yawning, blinking the tears away from her eyes with a dazed look on her face. And the first thing that comes out of our mouths isn’t a profound comment about what the film says about society, or trying to quote the best line, it’s ‘oh my god, that was so long’. And then we stumble out of the theatre and try to remember where we parked the car.
Enough is enough.
If you want your movie to be remembered for its plot, and not its run time, then you’ve got to rein it in people.
Anyway, I’ll leave it there and hope the world’s biggest directors are subscribed to Re: News’ newsletter and we see some change soon.
Re: News recommendations
On a different note, here are my latest recommendations for things I am enjoying.
These are not paid recommendations - they’re just things we like, including stuff we’ve enjoyed watching from our whānau at TVNZ 💗
Dead in the water by Sunday on TVNZ+ - I found Sunday’s latest piece about how a seaweed called Caulerpa is strangling our oceans, a really hard but important watch. It’s shot on Aotea Great Barrier Island, and captures some incredibly beautiful and haunting moments. I highly recommend you not only watch this piece (as it’s the biggest threat to New Zealand's marine life and we need to know about it) but other Sunday pieces too. If you’re like me and constantly binge niche docos on Netflix and YouTube, Sunday is New Zealand’s best possible version of this.
Mission deli style corn chips - I’ve been a loyal jalapeno Mexicano corn chip girl for a long time (and I still am) but have been introduced to Mission corn chips and I’m digging it big time. They are salted perfectly and have solid structural integrity for dipping/hefty nachos. Highly recommended (usually found in the international section in Woolworths).
Dak Hanmari Korean BBQ - I had an incredible experience at this Korean BBQ in Takapuna in Auckland. Now that I’ve been shown how to make little lettuce wraps with the BBQ meat, kimchi, daikon, rice and peanut sauce - I will never be the same again. If you are nearby, you must go!