Are You Sad? My Relationship with the Dark
Winters can be long, cold, wet and terribly depressing
Photo by Majestic Lukas on Unsplash
I know people who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD and I am beginning to think that I am a sufferer too. You can read all about it here. In a nutshell, SAD is a type of depression that has a seasonal pattern.
In the UK at this time of the year, we can either get lucky and have some gloriously bright, brisk autumnal days or we get long, wet, dark days. Today is one such day.
It hasn’t stopped raining since the moment I woke up and it is set to last until at least the end of today, if not longer. The sky is leaden overhead and it is very gloomy outside, not to mention really cold. Being cold and wet is one of my pet hates.
I lived in the Middle East for almost thirteen years in total and not owning a raincoat, umbrella, hat or even any warm clothing was an absolute dream. I could swim in a warm pool all year round and wear cotton tee shirts and shorts or pretty summer dresses every single day. Even typing that sentence just made me smile. I would love to live in a warm climate all year round.
I am cooped up inside (I know, I am very fortunate to be warm and dry), wearing warm trousers, thick socks, a jumper and a big, thick woolly cardigan over the top. All I can hear is the constant thwack and patter of rain hitting the windows, covering them in droplets of water which run down, coursing their way to the bottom like big, fat teardrops.
I tend to eat more at this time of the year too. Warming winter stews and stodgy puddings to help keep out the cold. This, in turn, creates a vicious circle because as I gain weight, I get more depressed and so it goes on.
I went to see my GP a few weeks ago because I was experiencing low moods, anxiety and insomnia (not like me at all) and she talked me through various options including taking anti-depressants, but I have heard so many negative things about them that I chose not to go down that route. We also discussed HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) as a lady of a certain age, but because my mother died from breast cancer aged fifty-three, I chose not to go down that route either. I was only thirty-two when she died.
Instead, on my GP’s advice, I contacted Healthy Minds, an NHS (National Health Service) programme which talks patients through their issues and in three weeks, I begin an online course which deals with coping mechanisms through CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).
As a very upbeat person, I can only attribute my low moods to the long, dark days that we have ahead of us until the spring when our clocks are turned forward an hour and the days start to get longer and lighter, together, I am hoping, with my moods.
The nights are the worst because when I wake up, all sorts of strange thoughts go around in my head and I still suffer from hot flushes so it is easier to get up, have a cold drink, read a book for a while and then go back to bed but more often than not, sleep still eludes me. Consequently, I wake up feeling tired.
I am taking steps to help alleviate my low moods by:-
Doing some yoga every day.
Listening to calming meditation music which helps lift my mood.
Playing golf as often as I can at weekends.
Keeping busy; I still work four full days a week and when I am not working, I am working on my novel, reading or marketing my book. Or writing articles for Rosy’s Relationship Round-Up or Rosy’s Ramblings.
Reading for at least half an hour when I go to bed to calm my busy mind.
In the meantime, I will put on a smile and put my best foot forward, hoping for some brighter days ahead.
If you are suffering from depression or mental health issues, please seek help. There are a so many programmes out there, but you must take the first step and reach out for that help.
How sad to have an illness called SAD! I had not heard of that disorder before.