pardon my absence - i have been very busy blooming!!!!
i have been going through a big transition - but well just refer to it as blooming for now.
and it quite literally has been utilizing all of my energy - because blooming is not a choice, it is a natural process - and BLOOMING IS VIOLENT.
over these last few weeks i have sat down and started writing this twice, and both times the story is so fucking long - and thats so cool because nothing is simple, i want to always share every single nuance - but in an effort to wrap this up and finish the transition process - im going to share very SIMPLY what this bloom time has brought earth side -
as of yesterday, June 1 - i am officially working at a new salon in Hudson, NY where i reside. its called Creem Studio and its so beautiful and intimate yet will be kinetic in every sense of the word - its a beauitful limestone washed pink container with two chairs -
i found myself moving there because - to put it simply - 6 months ago when we were signing the lease for our new/this now current apartment that we moved into earlier this year - i met a nice girl named Jessica Lee who coincidentally was opening a salon underneath our new living space. i literally met her the day we were signing our lease and i didnt even meet her at our building i met her somewhere else in town! we met on the street outside of a coffee shop outside of my old salon and it was a quick meeting and i just said '“WHERE are you opening?!” and she told me the address and i nearly lost my mind because in my hands was the lease for the apartment above. that is to put it all simply.
and so the seed/bulb was planted that day in december - before the first frosts had come.
i have never felt more like a beautiful big abundant flower in my whole damn life - to be honest, and luckily living upstate in the hudson valley has allowed me to listen to nature as my mirror and my guide - and im telling you this year I AM A PEONY
the bulb went into the ground (the idea of working somewhere different that felt more aligned for the work i love to do) and then i spent the winter nourishing the bulb (considering the ways in which i could grow) and then i checked in with my astrologer in early may and kind of made sure that it was time to blossom and the whole time - since december - whether i liked it or not - myself as a big beautiful green lush stem had been growing out of the ground and it felt like it was finally time to make the decision to move (LOL DURING A MERCURY RETROGRADE) and to quite literally BLOOM in a new space.
as a recovering people pleaser - change can be really hard for me - not because i dont want it - but because there are still parts of me that are TOO CONCERNED with what other people will think of my decisions - and living in a small town doesnt help this but it is an excellent muscle building experience - just when i think i am over this hump in my life where i can make the choices i want to make - i was presented with this opportunity and it meant leaving the safe pot i had been planted in (the salon where i had established myself up here) and moving into what could potentially be a super fertile bed in the ground where i could truly be and take up all of the space that my little heart desires.
and so in these last few weeks of spring, and mapping out my transition, and the return of more daylight and warm weather - i have been so fucking busy and as a FLOWER over this last month - i have found myself WAITING FOR THE RAIN.
luckily i have been on PEONY watch - there is a massive bush of them around the corner from my house at a church next to a giant shrine to the virgin Mary, and their growth/bloom trajectory timing has been magically the same as mine
this means - as a busy human - waiting for the pre-summer summer storms to come and give me an excuse to rest and not go out into the day to go hike or go socialize or run errands because it finally feels easy enough outside to do all of the mundane things that we have to do on a regular basis. for the last 3 weeks we have had some really hot weather and humidity and i think we all know - the only thing that brings relief in that climate is the fucking rain.
emotionally too - the only thing that truly brings relief are our tears. letting built up energy leave our body - and on my last day at my old job last week i had a fullblown panic attack while i was finishing washing someones hair and the only thing that brought me back into my body and settled my heart-rate was to sob - pretty much uncontrollably - because while it was my last day and the move to the new space would be happening in just a few days - my whole person had been ready to bloom in the new space for a while.
it was a busy winter into spring. my family experienced alot of loss and then i traveled for the first time in 2 years. it never feels like a super secure time to make a big career move.
the same way that a flower can never really know that its safe enough to bloom -
they just know when they have got their fill of sunlight and water and they just start to open and then one day its like BOOM BITCH HERE I AM IN ALL OF MY ABUNDANT PETAL GLORY AND I AM OFFICIALLY IN BLOOM!!!!
and i feel like i am here now
and i beleive it takes everything in our power to be able to share ourselves with the world in this most often times brave and breathtaking way.
and so in turn, my laundry has fallen to the wayside and so has this newsletter!!!
but today it feels like the time to share -
we are the peonies and we have been waiting for the rain
Blooming is Violent - so be gentle with yourself as you burst forth in this peak spring time <3 <3 <3
catch me at Creem Studio in Hudson, NY on thursdays, fridays and saturdays - and in my hair workshops that i will be offering there <3
love yous so much, thank you for witnessing me.
Love love love this!!