This newsletter is a weekly (sometimes) list of people I am mad at. This is the list for November 11, 2022.
Ben Affleck.
CTV’s Calgary local news broadcast has a segment called “Trending,” where they just show videos from TikTok. My mom is obsessed with it so every day she calls me and tells me about some fucking video of a bird talking to a dog or something that she saw on the news. I’m trying to be happy for her but: I already saw the bird dog video! I sent it to her weeks ago! Why is Tara Nelson getting credit!!!!!
I saw a guy from high school on a dating app and his profile said that the most important thing to him was “kindness and intention” which are big words for a man who used to refer to me exclusively by the f-word from 2014 to 2017.
White people are always eating savoury little tarts with carrots on them.
You ever watch television with your mother and then the show ends and she turns the TV off and sighs for like thirty nine full seconds and you know you’re about to have one of those conversations that becomes a core memory against your will?
If you write one fucking essay about leaving Twitter while it’s on fire I will punch you in your face. No one cares that you’re escaping a burning building. You only have two options: run, or be set aflame.
I’m so sick of therapeutic exercises requiring me to write stuff down. “Write out how you feel,” they all say. I write for a living! Writing is the literal cause of all my mental health problems! Read the room!!!!
My cat has two beds in my apartment and I just have the one.
Long time no talk. Since our last chat, I wrote about how Dr. Oz became ever so full of shit, and how Aaron Carter never really had a chance.
If you follow me and Twitter and want a new place to follow me while the building burns down, you can do so on Instagram. Or don’t! All of this is fake!