This is the third in a series about my attempts to find and live a Rule of Life. You can read the first post about my search here and the second one about simplicity here and the third one on faithfulness here.
I long to live a just, faithful, generous, simple life in community.
When I say I long to live a generous life, perhaps you think of money first. I do think where my treasure is, my heart will be also. So it’s important for me to share financially by tithing, by tipping well, by giving to organizations doing important work. But when I talk about living a generous life, I don’t simply mean in a monetary way.
I want to be generous with my time, my attention, and my experience. I think this desire for generosity is partly what prompted me to train to become a spiritual director. More than any other single faith practice, spiritual direction changed my understanding and experience of God - and therefore changed me. I long for others to have the freedom of feeling deeply loved by God, to feel his delight in them, to let go of working hard and instead receive love that can be shared with others.
In addition to being a spiritual director, I want to be generous with my time with my family, friends and even strangers. This part of my Rule invites me to be patient with others - when I’m behind someone in line or listening to a rambling story or talk a daughter through a new experience. I’ve noticed in the gospels that Jesus has so much time for others. The Jesus Storybook Bible says that Jesus always had time. I want to be generous in a way that makes people feel like I go slowly enough through life that they can accompany me without rushing.
One challenge in managing a move and downsizing is that I feel like my attention is at an all-time low. I have to-do lists floating through my head and on my calendar. My mind is in a frenzy of activity even when my body is tired and needs rest. I am finding it difficult to stop spinning and read for pleasure or edification. This all serves to highlight that what I want is to be fully present in my life. I want to give my attention to whoever I’m with at a given moment. For now, I am striving to calm my mind while also accepting that I have a lot to do and manage. I will eventually be a better version of myself on the other side of this move.
Last weekend I led a women’s retreat for a local church. This was my second time with this group of women and God lovingly gave me exactly the right prayer prompts for my time with them. I headed into the day feeling stretched thin. I was sick earlier in the week and had to hit pause on packing. As Saturday approached, I felt depleted but also oddly relaxed. It turned out I was in exactly the space I needed to be. I not only encouraged the women there to notice where God has tended them and nurtured them, I experienced God’s tenderness for me. The experience of spiritual direction is a shared one. I was the “leader” that day, but God brought me to the end of myself and then gave me his words, his love, his care to share.
It is my hope and prayer that our move to a smaller house on more land will give me more opportunities for generosity. I have much to learn as a gardener, but there is a wide open invitation for me to give it a try at our new home. The existing garden is thoughtful in design and content. It’s beautiful and has been bountiful in the past. I love the idea of being generous with the beauty and nourishment of the land - not just in harvest, but in the experience of the land.
God has been generous with me. He’s given me a husband that loves me and loves our daughters well. I’ve been blessed with three daughters by birth and another by choice. We’ve had lean and plentiful seasons, but always had enough. I’ve had work that is fulfilling and a good use of my particular skills. And those are just the obvious things.
I’ve also been given a vivid imagination that has made prayer accessible and fruitful. Despite many reasons to guard my heart, I am a fifty-one year old optimist who forever expects the best of people.
I know God longs to lavish his love on others as he has on me. My desire is to let his generosity with me overflow as generosity with others and our very world.
Book Corner:
What I’ve Been Reading Lately
via eBook:
What You Are Looking For Is in Library by Michiko Aoyama
This lovely little book is an ode to libraries and librarians, but also to how looking at something unexpected can give us the answer we really need.
via paperback:
Dreams: God’s Forgotten Language by John A. Sanford
I’m slowly reading my way through this book with a dream group. It’s a book that is showing me how much I don’t know and how much there is to learn about myself, my unconscious and God.
via audiobook:
Tell Her Story by Nijay Gupta
I’m still listening my way through this book explaining the role of women in the early church. It’s so encouraging and enlightening.
May your generosity go before you. May you share with the measure you have received. May you have eyes to see that generosity is our natural reaction to the abundance of creation.
Love,
Shannon
Lovely reflection on generosity. I wish I had known about the retreat. Add me to any communication about upcoming retreats! Sending Much love to your generous heart today ❣️