I’ve shared this before, but I have a series of injuries in my leg that came as a result of running. I have a torn labrum in my hip, a partial tear in my glute, a slight forward tilt to my hips, and my feet overpronate when I walk. I’ve been in physical therapy (PT) for, like 8 months incongruently for two years. I don’t like it, but I’m a 25-year-old with chronic hip pain. And I just found out something else that’s wrong with me that’s been rocking my world the last few days.
Here’s how it went. My usual PT is out on vacation and a different PT has taken over instead. This new PT is much better, to put it frankly. This PT, immediately after hearing about my problems, measured my legs and noticed a difference in them. No biggie, kind of obvious, I mean there are always differences between two things. Against her own strength resistance, she asked me to push my legs apart and then pull them together with all of my strength. Afterward, she measured them again, saw the difference was fixed, and then asked me to walk around. When I tell you -- I got up, walked around, and immediately felt a difference. I was walking without friction, friction that I hadn’t even realized was there. I didn’t have pain in my hip, I felt like I was landing evenly, it was incredible. Well, over the weekend my leg reverted, the pain resumed, and when I came in 5 days later, we had to correct it again.
She explained to me that I have a functional leg length discrepancy (FLLD). There’s about a half-inch difference that occurs in my legs because of muscular weakness and misalignments in my pelvis and spine. But this isn’t a structural or anatomical difference, so my legs and bones are the same length, my body is just crunching up on itself unevenly. I think. Anyway, I’ve been functioning with a left leg that’s half an inch shorter than the right. No wonder the cartilage in my hip shredded, my butt muscles got so tight they partially tore, and I have chronic hip pain.
I’ve been spiraling about this because it’s so obvious to me now. I think of all the problems I’ve had and it’s like oh, yeah, obviously someone should have checked to see if I had FLLD. This PT is the NINTH medical establishment person to treat me for this hip and low back pain and she’s the first to say something about it. Two general primary care physicians, a sports physician, a doctor of chiropractic (yes, I know), and 4 different PTs. I won’t discredit them, but I just can’t help my frustration.
What’s missing from the story is that I’ve also had two x-rays that revealed a slight bit of scoliosis in my lower back, which physicians dismissed because the gradation was too low to be concerned. Scoliosis is something that occurs with FLLD, because yeah, if your pelvis is slanted it’s going to affect your spine too.
What’s missing is that I’ve told PTs before that I felt like running on roads that had a slant to one side might be creating the pain I get, which they quickly dismissed as an unlikely cause. Hmm actually, you know, it’s probably because my fucking hips are slanted too.
What’s missing is that I trend-chased and got these chunky ass Puma tennies a while ago after deciding to fully lean into the orthotics look. When those shoes were new and fresh, I never had hip pain wearing them. Probably because the thick soles helped create a more even platform for my uneven legs. Now I have to live knowing that I should be wearing orthotics unironically.
What’s missing is that I stub my toes ALL THE TIME. I don’t know if my FLLD is causing that but why not? I’m on a rant and anything is possible at this point. What’s not possible is that I’m just naturally a little clumsy.
What’s missing is that I can’t squat low or do a yogi squat, I always topple over. I thought I just had suuuuper tight hips that stored immense amounts of trauma and stress, a place where my body was keeping the score. How about, yeah I have tight hips. It’s because my pelvis is rotated unevenly and it’s making every part of my legs unbalanced. But also yes probably because I’m storing some amounts of trauma and stress there, because I know my body is keeping some kind of score.
What’s missing is that I could literally feel one hip dropping to the side when I ran. I just thought it was a normal, funny little thing. No, baby girl, that’s the entire problem. I wasn’t making it up.
From my understanding, the discrepancy is due to muscle weaknesses and other functional things, so this FLLD can’t be considered the root of all my problems. Running isn’t the problem either, running just brought the issues to light because it’s supposedly 3x more impactful to run with LLD than it is to walk. I haven’t been running, but I live in NYC and walk much more than the average American who lives in a car swamp. It makes sense that I’m going to get a pinching feeling in my hip crease near my groin when I walk or stand up from a low seat. I can’t even sit in a chair properly because my left heel is lifting up where the right is flat.
That diagnosis was one of those moments where things clicked for me. Tomorrow I’m going to my sports medicine doctor, and when I asked my PT if there was anything she wanted me to share with the doctor, she took a very deep breath.
Apparently, FLLD is a very common occurrence, but a lot of physicians don’t believe it’s real. They automatically assume the leg length discrepancy is from a structural, anatomical place. I’m happy to finally have found such a passionate PT who will fervently shake her finger at me and say ‘Don’t listen to them if they say it’s not real! It’s real!’ She also told me I shouldn’t just accept a heel lift (I assume this means a sort of shoe insert) and that I can strengthen the muscles to correct it instead.
I’ve been seeking PT treatment for the torn labrum and partial glute tear consistently since July. I even had a PRP (platelet-rich plasma) treatment to try to help the healing. How could I have healed when I wasn’t even aware of the entire problem in the first place? Healing isn’t linear and I’m learning that the painful way. Despite my frustrations and the creeping feeling of helplessness, I’m hanging onto a rope of hope.
Affirmations: I won’t always be in pain. I’m young enough to heal. I do not feel like a boring Ramona Flowers with a list of ex-doctors and their medical advice instead of regular exes. Rant over. I have to run.