Image obtained from alamy.com
Have you ever considered that your ability to socialize comes with an expiry date? Well if you haven’t you better do so asap! As I enter the phase of being an empty nester, there is a lot on my mind. For so long I enjoyed my cocoon of my nuclear family with the occasional socializing on my own terms. When your dependents go their own way though, the dynamics of your life change. Therefore, the way you used to think has to be altered to a certain extent. No one is going to come keep you busy. No one is going to come talk with you. No one is going to consider socializing with you. Unless…you make the first move.
I am not talking about the superficial get-togethers. The once in a while invites. I am talking about being around people. About having activities and conversations with people that get you. People that will push you when you are lazy, that will challenge you when you are complacent, that will make you laugh and cry, basically people that will make you live.
You have to put yourself out there to engage with people. This in itself might be a learning process for you. There are many more people like you out there and they all have the same needs as you now do. They too need to be fueled with energy so they are also out searching for a new rhythm to follow.
I think the empty nest years can be very rewarding as long as you choose to see them that way. With life expectancy numbers increasing, you are getting bonus years to really live and experience things before age catches up to you. Before the hindrances of age start to affect your abilities. Basically before your expiration date for socializing arrives.
When you have trouble hearing, walking, engaging no matter how much your mind is alive and positive, sadly your time is up. If you cannot reciprocate with the people around you there is only so much effort they will make to come spend time with you. Even if they are considerate enough to come, they might actually be socializing with your adult kids more than with you. You will simply be an observer.
Therefore, find a new you. You might find yourself contradicting everything you stood for but maybe this change is the wisdom you were lacking. Even when it’s hard and when you don’t want to, go put yourself out there. There will surely be someone out there that will stimulate you, that will make you see things differently. That will give you the energy you need. Step out. If nothing, the fresh air will make you breathe differently.
P.S. Note to self: practice what you preach.
I like the note to self
And you are so right, its about making the effort and also about meeting up with people that make you happy, that make you think and reflect, that make you alive !
....loved it.