Revision Season #5: Time Passes
In which I recommend some Billy Joel songs, get stuck in a bathroom, and wonder if my novel has been omniscient all along
Hi Friends,
This past weekend I turned 45, which I celebrated with an artist date (more about that in a minute), followed by dinner with friends on the evening before my actual birthday. The night included being locked into the restaurant’s sole bathroom when the slider lock came apart in my hands. In pretty useless news, I now understand how a slider lock fits together, and falls apart.
How I got out: because my friends are my apocalypse team, our group chat, a very kind regular named Cameron in a Princess Diana t-shirt (described by the manager as “a good boy”), and what felt like the collective energetic efforts of the entire restaurant. The fire department was called but not needed. The evening’s drinks were comped (good thing we had ordered a second bottle of wine while I was in the bathroom), Billy Joel was played by (a never-before honored) request and everyone who worked there kept saying WELCOME BACK! with glee (and apologies) as though I’d stepped through a portal1. But I was there, fully present, the whole time. It felt right, actually as a way to cross a threshold to a new year of being alive: survivable mishaps, laughing, teamwork, special exceptions, making new friends (I also now have the manager’s number. She lives in my part of town, far from the restaurant part of town). I love New York.
When I’d left the table like someone just going to pee like any other, my friends requested the Billy Joel for me and were told by our server that the bartender never takes requests, but once news got around that I was stuck in the bathroom, we got 2.5 Joel songs when I came out, which was what one gets for being locked in a restaurant bathroom for approximately 20 minutes: Only the Good Die Young, Uptown Girl, and one half of The Longest Time. Those are all quite solid, but if you want the real Joel bangers, may I suggest a trio of Sometimes a Fantasy, A Matter of Trust, and Honesty if you want a softie to close it out2. I’m devastated to learn I have maybe missed the window to go see Joel at MSG. I mean, the window is open, but not at my price point. It is the only thing on my bucket list, or maybe just a near future would make me happy list. I find the concept of a bucket list pretty horrifying actually; the term originates from an expression with an unnecessary amount of violence, and I hate the idea of life being a to do list, especially if filled with grand things that are likely impossible to cross off, that could make you feel like you haven’t lived.
Here, listen to The Stranger or You’re Only Human to get the mood back up.
Speaking of aging and living, I’ve become enamored of Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s podcast, Wiser Than Me, in which she interviews women who are older than her. She’s a great interviewer, knows when to insert her own stories, how to follow the leads of her guests, and ask interesting questions. Last night I listened to the Diane von Furstenberg episode, in which she says she doesn’t ask people how old they are, but how long they have lived, including children. What a way to count. I have lived 45 years sounds pretty damn impressive, but if that number is 52 or 76 (DVF’s age) or 91? That’s a lot of experience collected.
Would you believe that despite my adventures stepping through portals and building Billy Joel playlists, I am actually still on my revision schedule? Let’s get into it.
What I’ve Done
Napped, kinda, multiple days after working. It makes my brain so tired. I’m very bad at naps, so it’s more like closing my eyes for approximately 26 minutes and trying to ignore the sounds of my family around me. 22 days till school begins!
Finished chapter 3 edits, using the method I described last time: referring to my index cards and overall notes, light re-reading to resequence and line edit as needed on paper, entering those edits, doing a final read as I close out each section, again referring to my index cards and notes at the top of each section. It’s good to remember that I had no idea how to create a system of moving through for myself and also of course I would come to one by simply doing; I always do.
Got most of the way through chapter 4, which I should finish this afternoon. There was a moment when I was a bit ahead, working on a morning I didn’t plan on it. After, I took myself on my birthday artist date, which is when you take out the part of you that eats up art. Lately that’s been movies for me—on Friday it was Passages (loved, for its narrative choices, its framing, its performances, how much it does with silence, its provocative wardrobe choices, and of course, the Paris apartment of everyone’s dreams). And before that Past Lives and earlier this year One Fine Morning. I’d like to watch all three of these movies again. I’m in a bit of a rewatch phase, maybe not entirely unrelated to being in my revision phase? Anyway, artist dates are meant to feel indulgent and if sitting in a mostly empty movie theater with your own snacks when you’d usually be at your desk isn’t that I don’t know what is. Sometimes for artist dates I simply put on headphones and walk and walk with no destination. Following impulses: highly recommended, as is my evergreen rec for The Artist’s Way, where this practice originates. (If you’re AW curious and I’m here to say yes, you have time.)
Cut 4 pages of useless/untrue backstory from chapter 4. The question TRUE? was all over that and I answered it. No, not true. This sort of thing has been getting easier. Definitely felt like high-fiving myself.
Confirmed availability of my first readers for when the draft is done in fall. You always want fresh eyes on a draft, and I have a handful of very brilliant writer friends who have volunteered, and it’s my job to space them out and slot them in and bow at their feet for their insights. It’s an act of trust, of course, but also one of great generosity on their part.
Discovered helpful notes like this.
What I’m Doing Now
Looking at and also away from the question of whether my novel is actually ominscient. I’ve always been more comfortable writing in third person, and a rather distant one; omniscience is a point of view I’ve always leaned towards and then run away from. Or, more accurately, have been told enough times that’s it too hard to pull off that I believe I cannot pull it off, cannot possibly choose to do so. But in editing I’m discovering I am…maybe already doing it? Like many things, I’m waiting to answer this question in my next draft. It would for sure mean further, more precise edits to commit to that decision, and I’m not sure if it’s right, or if there is a usefulness in naming point of view while it’s still developing. I feel okay letting it settle for now.
What I’ve Learned
I struggled with a section in chapter 4, quite hard, this week, spending 5 or so hours to get through 4 pages, and I don’t think on the other end those pages are actually any better, or any good at all. But I had to move on. It’s humbling—and so important—to remember it won’t all be great this round, and that sometimes the best thing I can do for the work is make it readable and come back to it, to keep the imperfections there for now, in the hopes that one of my readers will see the drowning section waving its arms above the water in distress and will be a strong enough swimmer to rescue it.
What’s Ahead
Rinse and repeat, till the finish line. I’d taken my schedule as a loose approximation but I’m finding it motivating. Trying my best to stick with it, or best it.
What I’m Afraid Of
That my lexicon is limited. How many things can be broad, or soften? How many times can the dad in the book put his hand on his daughter’s head? Will my characters ever stop pretending (spoiler: they will, and there will be consequences!). Revision really puts a fine point on our personal vocabulary lists not only for word choice but for gesture, scene beats, etc. I read James Baldwin’s If Beale Street Could Talk recently, and was utterly destroyed in the best of ways by how he describes expressions, which I’m currently struggling with dsecribing myself. The line “His face looked as though it were plunging into water” appears on the book’s third page; I was done for. A bit later: “And she still had—has—that look, that don’t-you-touch-me look, that women who were beautiful carry with them to the grave.” And later: “Joseph looked hard at Fonny—a long look, in which one watched skepticism surrender to a certain resigned tenderness, a self-recognition. He looked as though he wanted to knock Fonny down; he looked as though he wanted to take him in his arms.” Just. Whew.
That I’m missing summer—the season that defines FOMO for good reason—to work. Am I no fun? Don’t ask my children, or my dog.
That my book sucks, is untenable, it’s all a mistake, etc etc etc. I wouldn’t say that I don’t like it exactly, but nearing the midway point, my feeling of being enamored by it is definitely wearing off. I know this is normal. The fear is still here.
Religion of Office Supplies Report
For my birthday, my family got me an hourglass, which is half an hour, and I’ve been using it on my desk to make sure I don’t get up before it’s done. I used to work using a version of the Pomodoro method, and this is far nicer, no digital sounds to startle you if you’re really in it. Earlier this week, in that hard section, that drip of sand felt interminable. Later in the day, working in a different section, I flipped it over three times without getting up.
Where to Find Me
Late next week, at the Minnesota State Fair. Do you want to meet at the llama obstacle course or by the butter sculptures?
Rushing through and also trying to slow down my reading of the taut, sexy, and goddamned thrilling Mrs. S by K Patrick, which I picked up at Three Lives and Company on my birthday artist date.
Writing my thank yous to my annual subscribers, and cooking up something new and fun for subscriber-only newsletters 👀, scheduled to launch at the end of Revision Season.
Thinking about MFA application season, and general application season. If you’re interested in any of those offerings, they can be found here.
If you want to know how a slider lock works, hit me up.
Talk Soon,
Danielle
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If you’ve seen Russian Doll this will seem feasible!
Yes I have a semi-secret Billy Joel playlist going on Spotify. Should I add access to it to my paying subscriber benefits? Y/N/OFC
Hey my book made it into your writer diary!