Thanks so much for chiming in, Jake! Ending essays can be such a huge hurdle to get across. I think sometimes we need permission to not wrap things up tidily ... and then maybe offer a list of reader questions to launch a conversation instead.
In your writing sample, I couldn't help but wonder if there was a way to insert your own experiences with restricting anger and toughness to a sports-only setting. In what setting did you hear "No one likes a crybaby?" Can you describe that setting; how you felt; if it caught you off guard? Did it morph into an internalized message you carried for a long time?
These are just a few thoughts. So glad to have you here!
Good call out! The whole essay is actually my internalization. For example, here is the opening of the piece. Should I still include some thoughts about internalized in this context?
“Why are you such a dumbass? What’s wrong with you?”
“A lot. I’m pretty much a f**kup.”
“Oh, you finally realize it? About damn time!”
“I don’t feel like I can do it all the time. It’s a lot to be out there.”
“Ahh, so you’re a lazy f**kup. That’s even worse. It’s not that hard.”*
“It was hard at the time. I couldn’t get it going for myself.”
“Ok, well, glad to know you’re a softhearted baby who can’t do anything. It’s not that complicated.”
”I know, I know. I am trying to get better.”
“You have been trying forever. You need to DO, not try.”
“Ya, you’re right.”*
A year ago, I realized I was in an abusive relationship…
Thanks for this extra info! I think the long list of questions makes it somewhat challenging to create an engaging flow for readers. I think the piece could benefit from describing a point in time where one of these accusations showed up -- the person, the setting, the impact. And then decide which phrase comes next, sort of like, “Then there was Coach Melville in middle school..” And perhaps shift into, “one day all the voices started to sound the same ... “
Hey Jack! I really appreciate you joining in so enthusiastically today. I'd like to send through a 30-day paid comp to The Editing Spectrum. What is your email address? (This will add you to my list!)
Thanks so much for chiming in, Jake! Ending essays can be such a huge hurdle to get across. I think sometimes we need permission to not wrap things up tidily ... and then maybe offer a list of reader questions to launch a conversation instead.
In your writing sample, I couldn't help but wonder if there was a way to insert your own experiences with restricting anger and toughness to a sports-only setting. In what setting did you hear "No one likes a crybaby?" Can you describe that setting; how you felt; if it caught you off guard? Did it morph into an internalized message you carried for a long time?
These are just a few thoughts. So glad to have you here!
Good call out! The whole essay is actually my internalization. For example, here is the opening of the piece. Should I still include some thoughts about internalized in this context?
“Why are you such a dumbass? What’s wrong with you?”
“A lot. I’m pretty much a f**kup.”
“Oh, you finally realize it? About damn time!”
“I don’t feel like I can do it all the time. It’s a lot to be out there.”
“Ahh, so you’re a lazy f**kup. That’s even worse. It’s not that hard.”*
“It was hard at the time. I couldn’t get it going for myself.”
“Ok, well, glad to know you’re a softhearted baby who can’t do anything. It’s not that complicated.”
”I know, I know. I am trying to get better.”
“You have been trying forever. You need to DO, not try.”
“Ya, you’re right.”*
A year ago, I realized I was in an abusive relationship…
…with myself.
Thanks for this extra info! I think the long list of questions makes it somewhat challenging to create an engaging flow for readers. I think the piece could benefit from describing a point in time where one of these accusations showed up -- the person, the setting, the impact. And then decide which phrase comes next, sort of like, “Then there was Coach Melville in middle school..” And perhaps shift into, “one day all the voices started to sound the same ... “
Hey Jack! I really appreciate you joining in so enthusiastically today. I'd like to send through a 30-day paid comp to The Editing Spectrum. What is your email address? (This will add you to my list!)
I meant Jake. :) :)