I'm in one of those phases where things are being removed from my life. Maybe you can relate. Maybe now or in the past, you've experienced a period of purging — removal of things and people from your life that you had no control over.
I've had these periods in the past, most often involving a move — mine or that of others. I recall when we lived in Oregon, in one year I had five friends move and one pass away. And it wasn't long after, that we moved also. There's a sense of loss and grieving that often comes with these phases, and yet I've also learned not to hold on too tightly.
Recently, I've had three people remove themselves from my life. These were all their own choices. One of them, I understand very well as this friend is in a hard place and needed to edit her friends list for her and her family's best. I was able to not take it personally, because I understood her need for a very revised life right now. I wasn’t the only one she cut off contact with, so I saw it as her personal decision to give herself and her family a greater sense of protection and security.
A year ago, I would have been devastated by such a parting. But she's become more distant over the past year, so I wasn't shocked. Now I accept her decision in a spirit of love and support. I felt a little sad, but I'm surrendered to the knowing that God is removing this person from my life at this time. I can be thankful for the memories and release her in love as she gets more involved with another community.
We had two other people remove themselves from our life also in recent weeks. This is a married couple who has chosen a sad path and who have believed things about us that are not true. Dan and I aren't about to try and convince them of anything. They've made their decision, and we release them in love. Once again, I see it as a Divine Edit. The Spirit has removed them from contact with us (they live far away) for our best, and we pray they see the light but we don't count on it.
In both of these cases, which are very unusual for us, we've left behind the idea that we have to try to make things right with everyone. If others have chosen to separate based on their own needs (as in the first case) or based on lies they've believed (as in the second case), it's best to accept their decisions and surrender to God's purpose for us in it.
It's amazing the peace I can have about that, as I've let go of worrying about what other people think of me and have recognized that people make their decisions based on their own difficulties and experiences. It's not up to me to convince anyone of anything. The more I've worked on my own healing, the more I see that the Divine Edit is for my good and growth. I don't have to understand it in order to accept it.
Two weeks ago, I was handed another edit. After seeing my integrative medicine practitioner for digestive and food allergy test results, I've had numerous foods removed from my diet. I'm thankful to have access to really good medical care and the most advanced tests (which I often have to pay for partially out-of-pocket). Through an Infinite Allergy Labs Allergy and Food Sensitivity Panel and a Genova Diagnostics gut health test, I learned that I have a couple of digestive conditions and numerous food allergies and sensitivities. I've been aware of some allergies for years, but these results showed me more. My practitioner and the staff nutritionist want me to eliminate all the offending foods for six months, and then we will try to add foods back in after my intestinal tract has healed. There are additional supplements too. It's a pretty restrictive plan.
But oddly, I didn't get too upset about it. If I want to feel my best, this plan is going to get me there. And I can be grateful that I had no pathogens, parasites or other red flags in my gut analysis. My conditions are very treatable with lifestyle/dietary changes.
So here I go! I find I'm very satisfied with eating this way — apart from the occasional longing for certain snacks and foods. In addition, I have fewer uncomfortable symptoms. I guess I'm accepting the Divine Edit once again. This is meant for my best. And when I think of other relatives who are dealing with truly dire health circumstances, I recognize that my edits are small. And when I think of how many people on the planet don't have enough to eat or don't have access to healthy foods, I know I'm fortunate to be able to obtain and eat the foods I need.
The fact is: in the U.S. most of us have access to so much, so when we must pare back it goes against our culture and personal mindset. That's mostly what I deal with in the six months ahead: the social and dining out aspects of a restrictive eating plan. (To be clear, I don't mean restrictive in calories; I mean restricted to certain foods which don't cause reactions and inflammation).
But I'm also applying that idea of not worrying about what others think. That's traditionally been a tough one for this peacemaker personality who wants to make everyone else comfortable, to never be a nuisance and not be high maintenance. All of us will be high maintenance or out of the norm at some point in our lives — whether aging, recovering from injury or surgery, health conditions, grieving, financial hardships, etc. Best for me to swallow my pride, accept and surrender and be honest without over-explaining. I'm working on all of that.
Lastly, I had a music opportunity come up which I enjoyed at first, and then the Spirit showed me after a few weeks it wasn't right for me. I began to see that it came with some unhealthy pressure. And right now as much as I long to have a musical outlet with others, it's not a fit. It doesn't fill me with peace and joy but rather a sense of having to mold myself to something that's not naturally for me. So I release that too and trust that there is something better for later. It's okay that others can do it right now, but I can't.
Again, the Divine Edit. I accept and surrender to the removal of people, freedoms and opportunities from my life — trusting that the Divine Parent knows best. I don't have to waste my energy holding on to things that aren't for my benefit or wishing things were different. I give thanks for all that is good, healthy and free in my life and continue forward. I pray the same is true for you, if you are in a season of divine editing. In it all, God is with us.
Love,
Jen
As you know, it’s the story of my life and I feel great! You will too.