Sex With Lovers and Friends is the Best Sex You’ll Ever Have
Casual sex with strangers has always let me down and left me feeling empty inside
One-night stands are a bit like stale corn chips.
On the outside, everything looks fine. But the moment you take a bite out of it, you quickly realize that something is a bit off. It might have all of the usual delicious flavors of a regular corn chip, but you come to find out the texture is different the moment it crumbles in your mouth.
And from what I understand, 81% of American women are with me on this sentiment. The majority of sex with strangers is bad sex, at least according to these women (and me). I wonder how many guys out there are with me on this one.
Sex with a total stranger is grittier, rougher than normal. You were expecting a delicious chip and ended up with a not-so-delicious disappointment. Something is missing, though you can’t always quite put your finger on it.
Everything feels simultaneously rehearsed yet totally awkward. Like you’re the star and costar of a movie, and you don’t know any of your lines.
But don’t get ahead of me now.
I’m no stranger to casual sex. I’ve had plenty. And I’m thankful for each and every one of those experiences. But at the same time, I’ve also had wonderful experiences with a lot of close people that I will forever treasure.
My youth was characterized by a lot of sex with partners I wasn’t in a relationship with. Most of them were close friends of mine, and we decided to embark on a little experimentation.
All of this begs the question, what exactly is casual sex? Does fucking your friend count as “casual,” even if you’ve already established a years-long relationship with that person that was platonic, perhaps with a little flirtation?
Is sex with a close friend more akin to sex with a romantic partner or is it closer to sex with a complete stranger?
I think we need a better definition of what “casual” means.
Friends and Complete Strangers
You’ve heard the laments a million times. That marriage is on its deathbed. That casual sex with total strangers is taking over, with Tinder and OKCupid hookups becoming the norm and traditional relationships taking a backseat.
There’s a sense of loss and longing among people, especially young people today, that long-term relationships are a thing of the past.
Fortunately, if you’re one of these people, I’ve got some news for you, the science doesn’t bear this gut feeling we have out. At least not in the way we think of it.
While there’s been an uptick in casual sex (outside of a relationship), there hasn’t been an uptick in the number of partners people have or even sex with strangers.
What has been on the rise? Sex with close friends.
People are opting for sex and companionship together over sex without companionship or tying themselves down into a long-term relationship.
Friends-with-benefits sex is on the rise. And it’s also quite different, in my experience, from sex with total strangers.