Personal Guide: help, my boyfriend is threatened by my vibrator
Got a problem? We’re here to help.
This is embarrassing. I have been with my boyfriend for four months and while we have a lot of sex, I still haven’t come. I don’t have a problem orgasming on my own, but his idea of foreplay is a couple of minutes of fingering or oral and then into the main event. He comes and just assumes I do, I suppose I make all the right noises, but he doesn’t check. So last week I introduced him to my trusted vibrator, which I use on my own, and he reacted like I’d pulled out a cattle prong. He leapt away from me, and said he was really hurt and offended that I was going to use a toy when I had him. He got quite hostile and sulky and left to go back to his place. Since then, we’ve only communicated by chat, and he keeps saying what an insult it was to him that I even own one. I’ve apologised loads and now feel really dirty and ashamed. In every other aspect of our relationship, he’s really lovely and I’d like to make this work but I’m not sure there’s any way back from this. Any advice about how we can talk about this?
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to The Sex Guides to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.