Quality of Life vs. Quality of Purpose
Creating The Life You Truly WANT Rather Than The Life You SHOULD Want
Sometimes in life, I feel trapped between two dense materials. Two boulders. One tender and soft, sparkling in the light with crystal gems inside, yet it's menacing, always on the edge of collapse. And one who is completely stable, no matter what storm rolls through, but gives no shine, no glory. It's just a rock.
Now my parents would certainly rather see me build my life on top of the rock with a stable foundation, but I'm personally willing to suffer for the sake of life. (especially with the knowingness that I will die for life at some point anyways, no matter what I do).
If I want to stay somewhere or be somewhere in life or work towards something that offers me a 90% chance at a stable, "brighter" future, then that means I would have to give up the 100% chance of experiencing the mystery of life.
You might be one of the lucky few who can get to a point in life where everything is stable, where everything is close-to-perfectly constructed for your liking, but stability doesn't last. Because nature erodes away at life itself until it's all dissolved. Over and over again. And your neurosis will never disappear, no matter how perfect your morning routine is.
While that first boulder might be one storm away from obliteration, the moment it cracks open, it will reveal those gems I mentioned it holds inside. How can light shine through a stone, if there aren't a plentiful amount of cracks and holes which let that happen?
How can we ever see what she holds in the center of herself if a storm doesn't break her open?
I want to participate in this great human tradition. The tradition of exploration.
Not of inventing, but of DISCOVERING. And discovering just pertains to what is new to YOU. something can be around for thousands of years, but if you've just now seen it or found out about it for the first time for yourself, that's a discovery for your own soul and human experience.
Being a creator is about this, discovering, not inventing. Discovering life itself and all its noble labyrinths and what they all mean TO YOU.
Because you have a unique perspective on life that no one else ever will for all of time, because of what you've experienced in life and how your brain reacts to those experiences.
And creation is not limited to being an artist, creation is not even limited to being alive. The boulder creates abundance by existing on this earth for me to climb upon.
I create life through my heart pumping blood through my veins. By me spilling blood on the earth when I scrape my knee hiking the woods behind my parents house.
We are earthlings, we are meant to explore this place we were born. Even if that just means exploring your own mind.
At the beginning of it all, we were nomads roaming free on this place we all came from! This earth we have a right to live on! All of these rules and regulations continue to grow, and we continued to grow more complacent for a while.
But not anymore, something will always eventually snap. We can't live forever in boxes built for profit.
We can't live forever lining the pockets of the billionaire and the latest government military spending project.
We are all waking up to the realization that we have a right to this earth! And there's no more time left to waste. I want to know my home. I want to live how earthlings live, knowing the earth itself and how our earthling bodies move about the earth. And how our bodies naturally interact with life, even in high rises and habitats humans built themselves just to know power and comfort.
We can know ourselves anywhere, but we have to be open and have a desire for the discovery and not just the false stability which continues to erode away at our rights to just be alive on this planet we call home.
The money, the visas, the jobs, the house, the certainty of a future that could be taken at any moment no matter what you do to secure it.
Again, I could choose the path which gives me that stability, the best "quality of life" as determined by most people's desire not to feel any insecurity for their futures. Or I could choose the path which gives me real purpose. Which lights my soul on fire and makes me feel like I give more meaning to the world, not just going along with whatever meaning someone else gave to it before me.
I crave life so much. I can't live in the illusion of complacency, which breeds numbness.
Now this doesn't mean you can't be living a "normal" life and not be numb, if that's what you're doing out of a soul-purpose driven feeling, then you aren't complacent, you are following your own destiny.
But if you're doing it only for the goal of not having to suffer, then you're giving up life just so that you don't have to know the depths of pain (the pain which also brings, eventually, the real heights of joy at the end of it all). And unfortunately, you will still suffer anyways, as is inevitable in life.
You'll not have explored the depths of yourself and you'll still suffer anyways..
I want to feel like I'm doing something worthwhile, like I'm helping myself and those who come in contact with me.
I want to utilize this life to do LIFE things, like LIVING, and knowing myself and understanding how different bodies of water feel on my skin, and feeling terror and excitement and pain and joy, and seeing how different people live, and doing my part to help those around me where I can.
I want to meet people at those, heavily spoken about, "depths" of themselves and go deeper with them. I want to be totally destroyed and reborn over and over and over again. I want to die and know pain and suffering and then flourish from that deep, dark, wet soil, where roots can sprout and grow beyond comprehension.
A perennial plant who gets cut back and comes up bigger and stronger next time.
In the winter I go within myself and my roots spread deeper. In the summertime I blossom outward and grow taller than ever before because my new roots keep me so steady.
I nourish the soil around me. My own soul. I regenerate the air. I’m growing everywhere and within myself for renewal and truth.
I want to go within the depths of myself and the earth itself. I want to touch roots with all those around me and communicate with them, going deeper and deeper with each other through the seasons. I want to be real.
I want to grow with them too. I want to know great joy and love and tenderness together. I want to watch myself grow new flowers and vines and leaves that I’ve never seen before. I want to look around me and see an entire garden, blooming with splendor and life. Everywhere I go.
We are real together. This life is real. Pain is real and joy is real. We culminate in something grand. We are in bloom.
We are together.
We are alive.
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