My kids went back to school last week awarding me a more consistent schedule and yet I find myself avoiding my desk at all costs. I recently wrapped up Summer School and those of you that attended know that I am working on something new. This particular project is one I have been quietly avoiding for far longer than I care to admit. It happens to be well outside of my comfort zone and the more steps I take in that direction the more I want to run the other way.
I repeatedly told myself that I would begin to get serious about this idea once my kids were back in school, but now that this is my reality I find myself hesitating. I want to blame my own resistance on the fact that my daughter’s kindergarten hours are short, but I know deep down the only thing holding me back is myself. I have been here before and I know what it takes to push through these types of roadblocks and yet I keep trying to convince myself to avoid this idea altogether.
The truth is, it is far easier for me to encourage and motivate and support others in pursuing their ideas and endeavors than it is to actually tackle and embrace my own. And I think this is true for most of us. We tend to be our own worst enemies, constantly doubting and second guessing ourselves while simultaneously championing our friends or colleagues, even complete strangers.
I have spent years dedicated to helping other women push themselves forward, offering them the support they need to bring their own dreams to life, and yet I find myself stalling on my own. There is a very real part of me that wants to pick an easier path. To avoid this uncharted territory and opt for something a bit more known, but I have repeatedly learned that avoidance doesn’t solve anything and only delays the inevitable.
I happen to know that this particular idea will continue to get louder the longer I avoid it and the truth is avoiding it has been making me more and more uncomfortable. This is the exact same way I felt when I began building my first business years ago. My desire to quit and run the other way prior to making that giant leap was unparalleled and I suppose this is how I know that I need to push for and pursue this particular project. Not because it feels easy, but because it feels necessary.
There always comes a day when it is far harder to ignore our own longings, when trying to walk the other way no longer feels possible, when reaching for our ideas or dreams is suddenly unavoidable, when the risk of staying exactly where we are is more painful that the risk it will take to pursue this other lessen known version of ourselves.
And that is where I am, on the very edge of my own comfort zone, not quite ready to leap but equally sure that standing where I am won’t last much longer. I know what I want, but the road between here and there is not yet paved. Putting myself and my ideas out into the world rarely comes easily, but my own avoidance is keeping me stuck and it is only a matter of time before I decide to fully show up.
Next week marks a whole year of writing this particular newsletter, 52 weeks of me sitting down to capture my words each Monday, which feels like a milestone worth celebrating. I am getting ready to embark on the next portion of this journey, to once again leap toward a different version of me. For better or worse, I plan to share what’s coming next along with some much needed and anticipated changes to this particular offering next week. While I don’t feel ready, I am done delaying the inevitable. If not now, when?!
The Latest Posts:
Roadblocks: Roadblocks, Hurdles, Detours, Obstacles, and Closed Doors.
Ideas: What do we do with our ideas?
Lack: Overcoming lack is how we take our power back.
Resistance: The more important the goal, the more resistance you will feel.
Running: You should always be running toward something, not away from something.
Ease: Let it be easy, let it be fun, let it be fulfilling.
Steps: Success doesn’t just happen, you must climb the staircase step by step.
Reignited: To ignite and begin to burn again.
Transition: The process of changing from one state or condition to another.
“If not now, then when?!” Love love this!
So, I avoided reading this until just now, knowing that whatever you had written would undoubtedly be exactly what I needed to hear. And it was. But just seeing the subject in my Inbox encouraged me to get to things I have been pushing aside - even though they too were getting louder. This is a post I will re-read often. Thank you.