The greatest obstacle on your path to personal success is self-doubt. It’s not who you think you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you are not.
Doubt occurs when we lack confidence or feel incapable of doing certain things, it is the persistent questioning of ourselves and our abilities. Underneath self-doubt is often fear - fear of failure, fear of success, fear of trying something new.
Long before I found the courage to launch my own business I had to overcome some serious self-doubt. While I felt competent in my corporate career, the idea of starting something on my own was very intimidating. I knew exactly what I wanted to do, but I had no idea how to do it and I knew the learning curve would be steep.
I googled ‘how to start a business’ and the step-by-step guide included words I had never heard before - what the heck was a fictitious business statement and registered agent? If those weren’t intimidating enough I had to form an LLC, obtain funding, open a business bank account, secure a commercial lease, apply for zoning permits, get business insurance, obtain a federal tax id, and invest tens of thousands of dollars into tenant improvements on a brick and mortar space (that I did not own).
Did I mention I had to do all of these things before I knew if anyone would even want the thing I had been dreaming about for years?! Did I mention that I had to do all of these things with two young kids in tow?! Cue self-doubt upon uncertainty upon absolute fear, the uphill battle I was facing was unlike anything I had faced before.
More than anything, I wanted someone else to tackle my dream and even considered pitching it to others before ultimately deciding to try and tackle it myself. Most of my days were jam packed with nursing my newborn while packing toddler lunches and many failed attempts at making my kids nap long enough for me to actually ‘work.’ Those first years were unlike anything I could’ve expected and every precious minute of independence mattered, but after a lot of trial and error and more than one failed attempt I finally brought my dream to life.
There isn’t a feeling in the world quite like silencing your own self-doubt long enough to actually accomplish the thing you set out to do, especially when it takes 2 full years. 7 days later COVID hit and I quickly learned that the hill I would be climbing was far steeper than I originally imagined. I was equally parts determined and terrified, I knew I wanted to protect my business more than anything but I also had my kids to protect not to mention the financial implications of keeping a brick and mortar space afloat through more than a year of forced closures.
I quickly pivoted to offer online options, secured a 6 month sublet, and then launched a series of pop-up shopping events once that felt safe, but despite my best attempts I mostly I watched my dream dissolve. The irony is that I no longer doubted myself, but I began to doubt the dream or at least the timing of it. I finally overcame my own self-doubt by facing it head on and along the way I gained a deeper understanding of myself.
I have since closed that brick and mortar business and softly launched another one, it isn’t that I no longer feel doubt but more that I understand it for what it is and quickly work to silence it before it gets in my way.
While you are busy doubting yourself, others are intimidated by your potential.
Questions to ask yourself:
I most often doubt myself when:
I overcame self-doubt when:
If I stopped doubting myself I would:
I feel most confident when:
When I doubt myself I will:
Image captured by Jamie Diger mid construction on my brick and mortar space in January 2020.