Failure is often defined as a lack of success or the inability to meet an expectation, but I have come to see failure as perhaps the most important step on our individual paths toward success. Failure is not falling down, it is the refusal to get back up.
When I unexpectedly left my corporate career behind to be more available for my kids, I honestly wasn’t sure if I would ever feel successful again. I had held on to that career for two years too long in an effort to avoid failure and staying home was not something I had planned for (or even wanted). Unlike my corporate career, motherhood does not come with a measuring stick - there is no ladder to climb, no pay increases to achieve, and no promotions to secure. I spent the next couple of years flailing, determined to figure out how to rise from the ashes of my failed career with two young kids in tow.
It took some time and a whole lot of effort but I eventually found the strength to pursue a different path forward, one of entrepreneurship and building the brick and mortar business of my dreams. The truth is this path would have never been available to me had I not failed at my corporate career and that failure became the foundation upon which I rebuilt my life.
Building my dream was one of the most exciting and life changing experiences I have ever had. Unfortunately these past few years derailed so many of our hopes and dreams, mine included. When the world shut down in March of 2020, I was certain that my brick and mortar space would make it out the other side of the pandemic stronger, I was certain that my dream would be even more beautiful once ‘togetherness’ was allowed, I was certain I would not be here writing these words.
A year and a half later I knew it was time to finally let go, to once again embrace the unknown, to once again accept failure as a stepping stone toward success. As it turns out, letting my dream go and rebuilding my life was even more important than building it in the first place. I spent the first few months post closure letting go of the life I thought I might live, mourning that version of myself, sitting with the discomfort of that particular failure. It was hard, but with time the pain began to soften.
Image taken in November of 2021, the day we demolished the wall in my brick and mortar space and officially dismantled that dream. I have never cried harder or been so sure that I made the right truly heartbreaking decision.
I have slowly but surely started to stand back up. I have been picking up the pieces of my broken dream and this time I am actually thrilled to be starting all over again, taking with me the hard earned lessons I learned along the way. I never imagined a reality quite like the one I am currently living and there are certainly days when I wish I could return to my space and to that version of my dream, but the truth is life on the other side of it is oddly more beautiful. I have learned to appreciate my slowed down life, a life without expectations and far less responsibility than when I was running a brick and mortar business with two young kids by my side. I have learned to appreciate all that I have while working toward all that I want.
I know deep down that failure guides us forward. Failure is an opportunity to begin again, it encourages us to pick up the pieces and start all over again stronger and braver than before, but you must be willing to take it. Those that choose to repurpose the failures of their lives are actually setting themselves up for even bigger success.
Questions to ask yourself:
How have you failed in life?
How have you kept yourself stuck in these failures, avoiding getting back up?
What have each of these failures taught you? What lessons have you learned from failure?
What decisions are you avoiding or have you avoided in an effort to avoid failure?
How can you repurpose your ‘failures’ to gain future success?