Have you ever wondered why some people confidently take center stage in life, while others remain sidelined? Our firmly held beliefs write the script that shapes our realities. This often happens without us realizing it. “It is just who I am!” - we tell ourselves. The unexpected truth is we can (in fact, we should!) question some of the assumptions we cling to about ourselves. We can rewrite the narratives that we feel are defining to our identities. It is important to recognize our own power to author the story of our lives.
For years, I had the limiting belief that prestigious degrees are the only way to obtain “expert” skills like public speaking. This, of course, stifled my confidence - I did not have such degrees. Ingrained messages like “You're shy!” had subconsciously etched themselves into my self-image since childhood. This prevented me from recognizing my leadership potential or that abilities can be cultivated through dedication.
The plot twist occurred when some mentors suggested that perhaps my anxieties were an echo of false stories, projected onto me by others who lacked vision. This awakened me to the fact that abilities can grow through effort, not just pedigree. My doubts evaporated and a world of possibilities opened up before me. I embraced a growth mindset, seizing opportunities to strengthen my communication skills. In retrospect, those experiences became my qualifications.
Important research by Stanford psychologist, Carol Dweck, has shown that a growth mindset that is focused on growing abilities through effort is key to expanding potential and achieving goals. Dweck found that those viewing intelligence and talent as fluid were more resilient, embracing challenges that built new skills rather than avoiding risk due to fixed beliefs.
Today, at 39, I am a team leader and I am responsible for “high-stakes” projects. However, it took questioning inherited assumptions about my capabilities to expand into that role. Can you relate? Here are three steps you can take to rewrite your story:
Examine the Script
Set a timer for 10 focused minutes and name some of your own internalized beliefs. What have you considered to be hardened facts about yourself? What do you believe is possible? Identify limiting statements like "I'm too old to start over." Resist editing - just dump assumptions.
Question the Director
Analyse beliefs by asking - where did these narratives come from? Were they absorbed from early environments without examination? Do they empower or limit you? Understanding their roots enables clarity.
Rewrite the Storyline
Take the limiting beliefs that you have now fact-checked as subjective and boldly edit them to align with your vision. “I can start over at any age through capability building”, or “I can improve my writing if I practice”.
The curtain is rising on your next life chapter. You have the lead role, you are the director and writer, and you hold full power over your story. During this process, it is important to consider that you need to focus on what you can control and manage how you react to what life throws at you. All that's required is for you to question the inherited scripts that you have blindly accepted. You can then edit narratives that inhibit your growth into bold beliefs that propel your dreams forward. Your beliefs shape your world and possibilities. It's time now to rewrite future pages to their highest potential by becoming the hero of your unique story.
Action step: What 1 belief will you challenge + transform?
Action step: Let me know what has assisted you on your journey so far.
My first time reading your content Timashe. An excellent article. Thank you!
Most of the ideas and notions we have about ourselves, we acquired while young. It surprises how we like to hold onto to stuff learned when we weren't capable of choosing for ourselves. At some point, we have to learn our own things, not rely on what we were told. We need to tell ourselves new stories and rewire our brains.
It is possible to gain confidence; it's possible to begin directing ourselves. It's not natural though, and it has to begin at the point where we consider ourselves good enough to lead - ourselves first, and then those who'll ever rely on us.