I have not had a ton of jobs in my life. As a kid, I had the normal bagboy, stocker, and cashier jobs. Then went into restaurants, then cars, then art and sports cards.
but in the middle of all of that, I did mortgages. I had a friend named Bryan who was a bodybuilder and someone I looked up to. He told me this would be something I could build on and do for a long time, and I appreciated it, applies and got the job.
The job was to refinance mortgages for a lower interest rate, second mortgages, or lines of credit. I did not do a ton of new home loans. I think the main lender was Countrywide and every morning I got a list of the interest rates.
Now, that is not how they made money. What I mentioned above is for people with 750 plus credit who can go anywhere. Where they made money is refinancing homes and a disgustingly high rate, getting cash to the customer, and charging some crazy origination fee.
So there was one woman who her son was in jail. She needed to bond him out. So she had to take money out of her home and would do anything. My bosses wrote a plan that basically would have gotten her son out and also made her lose her home in six months.
The woman was an asshole. Like just a real jerk in general. It is why I got to deal with her. So I sat down and showed her the paperwork. She was just nasty and did not understand any of it, just cared about the money to get her son out, which I believe was for robbery or selling drugs.
So here is where the story turns. I changed the paperwork so she got the money, the interest rate was less, and my fee was fifty dollars instead of $5,000.
She never thanked me. When my bosses saw it, they fired me on the spot, and rightfully so. My friend was so angry he put my name out there, and I have not spoken to him since. I remember telling my mom thinking she would back me up and she was mad I got fired lol. She said “Tony, you provide people a service. you get paid for it.”
This was 30 years ago. I think about this scenario often because this is how I am. I rarely have a balance.
For years I never saw the other side of it. I never could understand why someone would charge so much for something I know does not cost that much. It took years for me to realize that it is something that other people cannot get. If I could fix a car, i would not pay $1500 for something I know costs $200 in parts and one hour of work. if I could install a toilet or detect a leak, I would not spend $2000 to a plumber. People pay for things that they cannot do, and that is okay.
But at what cost? That is the struggle I have had. When I worked with cars, which was two parts (I owned a wholesale and retail company), I would sell cars to people with bad credit. it was a crazy high deal, but also realized they could not just walk into Honda and get an Accord.
When I sold art or wrote, that was the hardest. I charged 200-400 for my time and art. Most people understood and had no problem. Others did not see it. That is fine, I have realized no matter what someone creates, someone will shit all over it. Some amazing artists on Twitter are dealing with that now.
But I also would work with people. I knew the time and effort I had involved. I learned what my time was worth along with creating something that someone cannot. And as respectful as I was, I was also nasty to people who were down on me. I am sure you can see screen shots posted on the internet.
Also, no one I ever gifted art to ever appreciated it. Only those who knew the value and put forth the money for it, no matter the price.
I wrote some viral posts for Huffington Post and CNN. When I contacted either for doing a paid piece, I never got a response.
So all of this is getting to where I am today. I am writing again and selling sports cards via eBay along with direct. I have found a balance of not shorting myself but also giving people a good value. I am going to make art for paid subscribers to see, but I do not think I am at the point where I can deal with arguing with others over what I am worth anymore. The hardest thing for me is knowing what I am worth and also knowing that I am doing the best for people.
And it is a hard balance. But I truly think I am there now.
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That’s not true at all: I absolutely read every single comment. I respect everyone who puts forth money for my journey. I am sorry things have been hard for you, but also please do not make that assumption about me.