Salutations, Henchmen!
Cheers to another Friday! This weekend, your Overlord plans to kick back, catch some rays, fire up the BBQ, and savour the vestiges of summer. Alas, bikini season has nearly come to an end in the Evil Kingdom….winter is coming. As much as I have not wanted it to be true- the signs cannot be ignored. The leaves are yellowing. My sunflowers are wilting. School buses clog the streets where my chariots once drove uncontested. Baggy sweaters are seemingly the only things for sale in the mall. Spiders are claiming their winter hideouts in all corners of my castle. The prisoners in my dungeons have started begging for blankets at night. But the worst and most indicative of all? Pumpkin spice has returned (most of you already know how I feel about that). *shudders*
So, my dear henchmen, join me in bidding farewell to our favourite season. This month’s Bewbs will be an ode to the bikini. Let’s take a look first at how your Overlord celebrated bikini season 2022.
Of course, this is but a taste of the bikini-clad blessings from yours truly this summer. By now I’m sure you know where to go if you want to see all of them, right? Surely these acts of shameless self-promotion thinly veiled as “articles” have not slipped past you. Don’t worry- I will gladly tell everyone that you’re only here for the articles if you need me to. Hehe.
Anyway, your Overlord is obviously not the first (and certainly won’t be the last) to sport swimwear’s finest creation. Let us look now to some of the most iconic movie scenes to feature the bikini. Obviously, this list is by no means definitive, it has been compiled based on a poll of my most loyal henchmen (shoutout to my underbosses!) and movies I’ve seen.
Ursula Andress (Dr. No). The original Bond girl gave us the infamous bikini scene that would become the blueprint for the rest of the franchise.
Halle Berry (Die Another Day). My all-time favourite Bond girl bikini scene.
Heather Graham (The Spy Who Shagged Me). Proof that Bond girl bikini scenes are so iconic that they deserve their own parodies.
Phoebe Cates (Fast Times at Ridgemont High). Although I’ve never seen this movie, every single henchman that I asked brought it up. Thanks boys, I know what I’m watching this weekend…Hehe.
Denise Richards (Wild Things). This movie has a lot to offer…especially on mute.
Carrie Fisher (Return of the Jedi). Come on, you already know.
Salma Hayek (From Dusk Till Dawn). Snakes and vampires and bikinis, oh my!
Jessica Simpson (Dukes of Hazzard). Bikinis and Daisy Dukes, my favourite combo.
Honourable mention goes to Ali Larter in Varsity Blues for the whipped cream bikini. Who doesn’t love a good twist on an old classic, eh? Hehe.
Well, having typed all of these celebrities + bikini into google images, my search history could now easily be confused for a twelve year old boy trying to get around parental controls. LOL. It was worth it to peruse the bikini hall of fame. Am I missing any one? My DMs (@vesper_vee) are definitely open for this particular topic.
Until next time, Henchmen! Stay evil.
Love the bikini edition of Bewbs & Bumps and love seeing my Overlord in a bikini. Here's to the end of summer and the beginning of spooky season.