Originally posted on my discontinued Medium blog
This story is about a recent experience I went through, which reinforced to me why being the best is not a healthy goal to aim for in our life. I had that realization while literally pulling out the masking tape from a drawing I recently finished.
I initially decided to work on that piece despite not expecting the final result to be any innovative or worth a prize. That decision, however, got me out of analysis paralysis, gave me the opportunity to practice the craft, and finally rewarded me with a sense of joy when I saw it finished. I had accomplished something.
The Meaning of Being the Best
Different areas of expertise have different ways that we can use to measure quality, thus a way of selecting the best person or piece of work in that specific area by telling who or what presents more quality. Those measures are not always deterministic though, ranging from quite objective to very subjective.
Sports, for an easy one, is a quite objective field, where the number of victories — measured by medals, trophies, championships, etc — works as a deterministic way of telling that competitor X is the best among all.
On the other end of the spectrum, we can probably pick literature as an example. In literary awards, we have a jury casting their somewhat subjective votes, even if they claim to judge the competitors based on objective parameters. Pick a different jury, however, and those might simply decide for another winner. Even in sports, we can also see subjectiveness to some degree. In gymnastics, which also depends on a board of judges assigning scores to competitors, a different composition of the board could, in theory, lead to a different result — as opposed to basketball, for instance, where the score at the end of a game determines the winner.
In the arts field, which I use to illustrate my specific case with this story, there is definitely no objective measure to tell who is the best: "who's the best painter?" sounds like an odd question as soon as we hear it.
Being the best at something is not an objective concept.
Comparing Ourselves to Others
In the more subjective fields, let's make it simple and just consider our own individual judgment the one that matters in choosing who or what is the best.
As an artist, I look up to many others out there and get amazed at their work every time I see any of their pieces. For realistic pencil drawings, for instance, I'm always inspired and amazed by the work of Jono Dry (go check his Instagram and see for yourself).
Within my known boundaries, therefore, I consider Jono the best artist when it comes to realistic pencil drawings. More than being hugely skilled at the realistic rendering of big forms, texture, details, lighting, etc, I greatly admire the concepts he brings to his artworks. Another person might very well think a different artist is better than him in this niche, and that's perfectly fine.
Now that I have elected the best artist, it's just human nature to compare my artwork to his. There's no escape. From idea to execution of a new artwork I produce in this style, I'll always wonder if that idea has an as good concept as Jono's and whether the final result resembles his results.
That's not necessarily bad, though. Comparing our work to others' work can also be healthy, depending on how we deal with that comparison.
Not The Best, but Better than Yesterday
The more subjective the measures are, the more the goal of being the best becomes a moving target. If there are no objective measures in a given field, one could argue there's not even a target. You may be considered the best by some, but not by others. Good luck with pleasing everyone.
A way out could still be to pursue being the best based on our own judgment — the thing of comparing ourselves to others, as explained above. That's still a risky game. On one hand, we can use that as a way to keep going and improving, but at the risk of never being pleased with our own work due to an endless comparison. On the other hand, we could start believing that we got there and finally became the best, but then there's the risk of losing the purpose to keep improving—or sounding like an idiot looking down at other people's work, thinking it's not as good as ours. Either way, we lose.
A healthier way of looking at all of this is to aim to become a bit better every day. We may still use the comparison to another person's work as a way to gauge our current status and look for areas of improvement. However, the goal is not to beat them, but rather to beat our yesterday selves. We can always find something to improve on and at the same time be fully pleased with our own current results. Those things are not mutually exclusive.
That attitude is the healthiest because it allows for the best combo. We can be happy at being the best we can be at the moment, and still admire other people’s work without the fear of the comparison diminishing our own results. As long as we are making continuous progress, and becoming a better version of ourselves day after day, then we're all good.
Pulling Out the Masking Tape
While working on that drawing, there were many moments when I wasn't digging it that much. It was simply a drawing based on a reference photo I found interesting. It wasn’t a photo I took myself or a concept that I created. I started it just so I could start something, but not because I was really excited about that image. By doing that, I've put myself in a position where after a few days of working on it and not feeling that excited about it anymore, I had two obvious choices: quit or continue.
If I continued, I would be investing more time in something that I wasn't enjoying that much. As a human, I naturally want to spend time on things I enjoy, especially if that's not absolutely required—like work or home chores.
By quitting, I would leave unfinished something I have already invested quite some time on it. Besides the immediate feeling of being a quitter, I was aware that this could mean getting discouraged and not only quitting that specific drawing but maybe dropping the realistic drawing thing altogether.
I knew that if I wanted to become better in this craft I needed to endure moments like this. Books like Peak and Mastery have taught me that new skills can be developed to a great extent, but the path to great achievements is not paved with pebbles. I also heard more than once from experienced and accomplished artists that there's no such thing as feeling constantly inspired. Sometimes—or most of the time, maybe—you have to chew through an artwork you're not feeling inspired about. Maybe that's because you committed to finishing a commissioned piece, which kind of forces you to get to the end. But when it's not a work commitment, then you need to find that extra motivation elsewhere.
I believe what kept me going, in this case, was the fear of this becoming yet another thing that I would quit because I was not feeling like the best at it. This time, I consciously fought that and decided to go on, even if in slow and small steps. I'm happy I did that.
The feeling of pulling out that masking tape once I called it done is something that certainly made a difference and became a turning point in my life.
Love Comes First
This realization also showed me that I could have accomplished much more in the past if I had always had that attitude in hard moments. I can count many other times when I left a drawing unfinished or, even worse, when I quit doing something altogether just because I wasn’t feeling like the best at it.
I'm done with that. Being the best is definitely not the goal I want to aim for in life anymore. It doesn't mean that I won't pursue excellence. It means that excellence is not the goal, but just a characteristic of what I do. Not sure if that makes sense to everyone, but there's a big difference there.
I think I heard it from Aaron Blaise (an artist who worked on Disney's movies like Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and Brother Bear), answering a question from the audience during a live stream, saying something like: "Are you in this for the fame or because you love doing art?". Damn! I remember that touched me instantaneously. I've heard a similar thing from an accomplished guitar player in a podcast, who was speaking about people that start their careers in music with fame as a goal. In his experience, by doing that you're setting yourself up for frustration. If you choose to do music, you better choose so because you love it, not because of the fans you're gonna amass along the way.
Just because you're not considered the best, or because you're not sure if fame will follow, you're not gonna do something that you love doing? Do it first because you love doing it. Then, strive to do that thing to the best of your abilities. Maybe, success will follow. If not, keep doing it if you love it.
One word of caution on doing what you love: I'm not speaking about choosing to do what you love over everything else and going blindly for it, without considering the implications. I'm talking about not early quitting something or even trying it when that's what you love. On the topic of "follow your passion", I actually agree much with Cal Newport that it can be bad advice. He has a book on it, which I've read and recommend.
The Generic Best and the Best Self
The realization I tell in this story is a change in mindset for me. You, reading this, may find it curious why that would be of any novelty, thinking it's obvious that being the best is not a goal in itself. Stupid me, right?
Aiming for the best, however, wasn't something I've seen in a negative way. It may even be narcissistic, but trying to not be just one more was a way of life to me (and it still is, in some sense).
I feel that this world loves recycling and regurgitating the same stuff over and over. With the advent of social media, that process grew exponentially. Many (most?) people don't seem to care much about doing better, as long as what they're doing is gaining attention, even if that attention is exactly because what they did is the same old packaged and generic stuff.
I didn't want to be "just" one more artist doing hyperrealistic portraits and showcasing them on my Instagram account to get some generic likes. If I'd do that, I'd have at least to be the best at doing it. As someone that consumes art-related content though, I can endlessly scroll my Instagram feed and look at tons of artists doing amazing portraits out there. You can't simply tell who is the best. In this example, I'd be just one more guy putting amazing hyperrealistic portraits out there, which by definition is not being THE best. That mindset, however, is exactly what made me quit doing things in the past and end up not even getting to be that "generic best".
Now, I don't want to quit developing a skill that I appreciate—and miss to enjoy both the process and the results—just because I may produce something that can be considered generic. As long it comes from within and really delivers joy, I'm good to continue. The only no-go, at least to me, would be selling my soul to produce generic stuff without actually liking it.
Now I aim to be my best self each day at what I do, even if the results are seen as generic best by others.
Wrapping Up
The realization I had when I finished that artwork was a positive experience that I thought was worth sharing.
If you are already showing that attitude towards your own work and hobbies, congratulations! If not, I expect to have contributed here to change that, in case this story resonates with you.
Do you have any similar experiences to share or have another perspective on this? I'd be happy to learn more about it.
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PS: If you're curious about the drawing I'm referring to this whole time, it's that sneak peek photo illustrating the header of this post. The full drawing can be seen on my Instagram. There's also a short video that features the exact moment the masking tape is being pulled out.