My son (and first baby) will be born any time over the next two weeks.
And although I have no experience being a father yet, one thing I’m certain of is that babies are curious.
They have to be. That’s how they learn.
And this got me thinking about how I was ever able to achieve any skills or success in my life — seeing as how I’m not very smart, I don’t have the best habits, and I’m also extremely lazy.
For those of you who don’t know — here’s the short n’ skinny of it…
I’m a high school dropout. I have no formal education at all.
Yet — somehow — I was able to build myself up to a $300,000/yr income online and do so while living and traveling around Southeast Asia.
First I was just a copywriter. But then I also became a trader and was eventually hired as a trading educator and analyst who is responsible for sending out trade alerts and ideas to thousands of paying subscribers (that’s a story for another time).
But I’m no less lazy and no more smart than before.
I’m not trying to toot my own horn here and dance around yelling ‘look at me!”
I’m telling you this because I want you to know I’m not exceptional. I’m not highly educated. And I don’t work harder than you, either.
So there must be some OTHER reason I was able to “make it” while so many others do not.
And if it’s not working more or working harder than the next guy…
And if it’s not having a rich family who sends you off to a nice college so you can get a fancy degree….
And if it’s not being “born” into the right location and surrounded by the right connections….
Then what the hell is it?
Well I think it boils down to playful curiosity.
Let me explain…
Finite And Infinite Games
There’s this really great book published back in 1986 called Infinite and Finite Games by James P. Carse.
And in it he discusses the difference between games that have a set and defined end goal with clear winners and losers (finite) and games that have no end and there are no clear winners and losers and no real “end objective” (infinite).
Over the years I’ve noticed that most people live their lives with the idea of finite games and finite goals.
Here’s what that looks like.
The “Finite Game” Mentality
There are clear cut rules for “winning” and “losing.'“ And clear cut objections to get from one point to another.
This could take the form — for example — of laying out a planned route for your future.
First you get these grades in high school, then you get this degree in college, then you get this type of entry level job and work your way up to X, Y, and Z roles and so on.
It’s all very serious and deliberate.
Most people that I talk to feel like they’ve been let down by this “game” and its rules.
For example, its oft repeated that “I did everything ‘right’ that I was supposed to do and yet the outcome did not happen as it was promised.”
This typically takes the form of they went to college like their parents or “society” told them to do.
Then they got a degree that was supposed to promise some kind of income.
But then when they got out of college nobody gave them a job or the job didn’t pay enough.
So then they started doing some unrelated job and they worked hard.
And again — “society” and their “parents” told them that hard work would result in rewards down the road, but it didn’t and they’re on a hamster wheel.
And so they begin to feel like they were lied to or they got a raw deal because all of the step-by-step nature of how they approached goals and their definition of “winning” or losing.”
Many of these people then turn to blaming the world around them — the world that told them to play the game in this way — as the ultimate reason behind their woes. Or they give up and retreat.
For some people the finite game mentality initially works extremely well.
They’re highly competitive, they dominate most things they put their energy into, and they thrive in the world of clear cut winners / losers. Going from game to game and from challenge to challenge.
But these people too — down the road — end up getting burned out or become directionless because that kind of energy is nearly impossible to keep up.
Especially if you take it extremely seriously.
Now let’s contrast that…
The “Infinite Game” Mentality
But an “infinite game” mentality is one essentially of curious play.
I’ll give you one interesting example here in Thailand and then some personal examples.
So back in the states I used to train MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) which is the kind of fighting style you see in those cage fights on the UFC. A mix of boxing, kickboxing, and wrestling essentially.
And in the states everyone took their training VERY seriously!
For example…
They had strict diets, which never let them go out and have a fun weekend or eat fast food or eat at most restaurants
They had a strict sleep schedule
When they sparred, they sparred VERY hard almost acting as if every sparring session was a real fight
Before fights they spent considerable time “pumping” themselves up and “preparing mentally”
When I got to Thailand — I expected the training to be even more high level. Especially considering that Thai fighters are some of the most notoriously tough and conditioned fighters on earth.
It’s 100% legal to strike with your elbows or your knees. You kick your opponent with your shins. And you often pick them up and throw them on the ground.
It’s not uncommon for Thais to start fighting at 7 years old and often they will fight 200 to 400 times in their career.
Some fighters I know today will fight up to 2 times a month.
So obviously their training is going to BRUTAL and their routines are going to be at perfection. They’re all going to be “robotic” in their approach and VERY VERY SERIOUS!
Except….it was the opposite.
When I first started training at Thai gyms and camps (a camp is a more serious gym where people literally go live at the gym to train full time) I noticed how nobody took anything seriously at all.
Many fighters would smoke cigarettes and drink beer regularly up until 2 weeks before a fight. They’d eat basically whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.
Before a fight they never looked nervous or worried and were always smiling, laughing, and joking around.
They’d go and do their fight and — win or lose — they’d take a shower and hit the bar for some cold beers and pool (assuming they weren’t too injured).
Most interestingly — when they sparred (and they spar a lot) they were always smiling and laughing and they never hit each other hard.
For example, here are two of the most legendary Thai fighters in the world — Saenchai and Rodtang.
You don’t need to know anything about fighting or sparring to see that they are hitting each other very lightly. They’re joking around with each other. Smiling. Laughing. PLAYING.
And this is normal behavior — this “curious play” attitude of Thai fighters is there all the time.
And this is why they can fight 200+ times in their career and not be COMPLETELY physically decimated (by the way Saenchai in that clip is over 40-years-old and still fights at the highest levels).
It’s because they don’t take all of the aspects of their training so seriously — they learn and hone their skills by being in a constant state of “curious play” and relaxation.
While fighters in much of the rest of the world are taking everything too seriously, going too hard too long, burning out, and have nowhere near the longevity.
They were playing a FINITE game with FINITE rules. The Thai fighters are playing an INFINITE game that never ends — and they progress by being in a constant childlike state of “curious play.”
For example just contrast the footage above with footage from a UK gym. No smiling. No laughing. Hitting extremely hard. Taking it all WAY too seriously. These guys will burn out after a few dozen fights.
And guys like them are consistently DESTROYED in the ring by the two playful fighters you saw earlier.
Because curious play is a better — more natural — way to learn and grow than through constant competitive striving.
How Does Playing an “Infinite Game” With “Curious Play” Translate Into Success?
When I dropped out of high school I only had a vague inclination of what I wanted to do — things I knew I liked, was excited about, and gravitated towards.
I knew I liked working in the comfort of my room on my own time. I knew I enjoyed writing, art, and movies. I knew I wanted to travel.
Beyond that I had no idea what to do.
But I was curious — was there a way to make money online writing? Could I actually pay the bills with it?
From this seed of curiosity I began reading blogs and books and forums — any information I could (this was back in 2004).
I tried to start a blog, but it failed. However I did learn a lot about SEO, how to build a website, and how to monetize it. And that I learned a lot about online marketing.
Later I began using freelance sites, which had me writing all sorts of different content from blogs to ghostwriting entire books to doing sales content.
I never had any clue of how to do the work when I got hired. So I had to simply go out and figure it out.
Every day had me going down a series of different rabbit holes. Constantly I had to ask myself questions and find the answers to them. It was the only way I could complete the projects.
In 2015 I had a chance job pay me $5,000 — the most I’d ever been paid for a job up to that point. And it was to do a sales page for a trading service.
That put me down a whole new rabbit hole of finance and trading — I fell in love with it.
Suddenly I wanted to know everything I possibly could about trading.
And so I bought courses and books and read a million websites just like I’d done to learn how to write.
At the SAME time I knew I had essentially “jipped” myself for years because apparently I could have been getting paid A LOT more so I simultaneously went hardcore into learning the “direct response” side of copywriting.
From 2015 to 2020 was essentially non-stop study and work.
And guess what? It was EASY!
It was easy because I was genuinely curious. I had sleepless nights — not because I was worried or anxious — but because I had some more questions pop into my head and I couldn’t wait to go and get answers to them.
My appetite was simply insatiable.
I would bounce from stocks, bonds, futures, options, forex, technical indicators, fundamentals, macroeconomics, and all the financial stuff….
To reading books like Persuasion, Never Split The Difference, Breakthrough Advertising, The Boron Letters, Tested Advertising Methods, The Letter Book and more.
I would have been doing ALL of this for free! Simply because I was playfully curious about it all and it was fascinating to me.
I had no real solid direction.
I didn’t know where all this would take me.
But what did end up happening is that my skills kept getting sharper and sharper.
My knowledge grew exponentially because I was now able to take all of these seemingly unrelated tidbits of information and combine them in new and unique ways.
And because I had to break all of this complex information down in a way that was easier to understand for my own brain, I found that it was very easy for me to write sales pitches for complex trading products or service strategies because I was able to explain it in fun, interesting, easy-to-understand ways.
The more I had fun “playing” and being curious, the more my skills grew, which meant the more my income grew and the more my responsibilities grew.
And because it was “play” to me — I never got burned out, tired, or defeated.
Whenever I Have Lost This State of Curious Play In An Infinite Game — My Life Took A Hit
One of the great paradoxes I’ve found in life is that the harder you try, the worse you do.
There’s a great book about this paradox called Trying Not To True but I’ll save this for a different letter.
Suffice it to say — whenever I begin to take life very seriously and put a large amount of pressure on myself to perform, and I begin to think in terms of a “Finite Game” with finite rules, I begin step out of my state of curious play.
And this is typically when I begin performing the absolute worse.
My trades begin to go bad.
My promotions begin to fail.
I start to make mistakes across the board that cost me time, money, energy, and mental health.
It always takes me back to this Taoist quote by Liezi…
If you play a game where scrap pieces of glass are at stake, you will play skillfully. If your expensive belt buckle is at stake, you’ll start to get clumsy. If it’s your money that’s at stake, you’ll fumble. It’s not that you’ve lost your skill. It’s because you are so flustered by things happening outside that you’ve lost your calmness inside. Lose your stillness and you will fail in everything you do.
The reason I love this quote so much is it details what happens when you lose your “curious play” mindset and enter into a mindset of “win or lose” finite outcomes.
Playing “for fun” with the glass shards and just seeing how good you can get at the game is something you can do infinitely and probably not lose interest. There is no set outcome other than to just enjoy the game and get better at it through playing.
But the introduction of, “Now your money is on the line” changes the dynamic. It turns it into a “win or lose” situation and suddenly you begin to make mistakes due to the emotional upset this causes.
Playing the “Finite Game” with finite rules takes you out of the realm of flow and play that can only exist if you’re having fun pursuing things you’re genuinely curious about.
And having fun pursuing things you’re genuinely curious about is an “infinite game” because it never ends.
A finite game MUST end because it’s too exhausting and debailiting to do it forever.
But an infinite game never HAS to end, because nobody gets exhausted following ideas and curiosities that genuinely excite them.
Babies don’t get exhausted being curious and soaking up information from the world around them. They’re insatiable.
We LOSE that as we get older — but I believe it should be the basis of everything you do for your entire life and that it will put you EXACTLY where you need to be in regard to the life you truly want.
CONCLUSION: The Key To Success Is Not “Working Harder” It’s Pursuing Your Natural Curiosities
You feel inclined towards something. These inclinations are primal and natural. They’re calling you, begging you to pursue them.
Yet most people playing a “finite” game look at these inherent curiosities and inclinations they have as nothing more than “hobbies” or side interests or something like that.
They put these curiosities on the shelf and say they’ll get to them later when they “have the time.”
They don’t seem to make the connection that these natural ingrained curiosities are TELLING you that this is the path you’re supposed to go down.
They will lead you to where you actually want to be — naturally — even if you’re not 100% sure where that is.
There’s all this advice out there about “follow your passion!” or that you got to get out of the 9 - 5 rat race! Or “Start your own business!”
But maybe you don’t want to start a business. Maybe you’re not sure what your passion actually is. Maybe you don’t mind working a normal job.
You know you want to be SOMEWHERE, but you don’t know where.
Even if you don’t know all that — I can almost guarantee you…there IS something you’ve been curious about.
My opinion is you should just ignore all that other stuff. There is SOMETHING you are curious about — an itch you want to scratch.
Start THERE. Begin by just following your curiosities where they lead. You don’t need some grand vision or grand design or grand plan. You don’t need some finite end goal.
You should have FUN, you should PLAY and go chase those curious notions you have down the road and see where they take you.
Let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
William McCanless
This is such a valuable post (same with your reddit post and the stuff you shared on your drive). Thanks for making those available and congratulations on your pending little one.
What a brilliant letter! It got me pumped up for sure!
I found your name through reddit and found your link to the free course.
First of all I am new to copywriting.
Right now I'm already in the middle of a copywriter course online. But once I am done with it, I will check yours as it looks really promising. Thank you again for sharing your experience and wisdom.