205. Alex Carabi: Relationality, ways of relating, trappings of language and Martin Buber
Alex Carabi coach, author and fellow curious on the discovery of a relational world. We speak about Alex's journey into coaching as well as his book On Relationality and Alex beautifully unfolds some of Martin Bubers thinking. We speak of relationality, of risk or perceived risk, including the other and utilizing the other, attending and different types of attention as well as intimacy. This is a beautiful, thought provoking, warm and wise conversation that I recommend deeply. Enjoy! Host: Amit Paul
AI generated summary
Summary
In this conversation, Alex Carabi discusses the importance of relationality and the power of being present in coaching and therapy. He explores the shift from an I-It mode of relating to an I-Thou mode, where subject and object disappear and two subjects meet. Alex also delves into the work of Martin Buber and his concept of relationality, emphasizing the need to create conditions for intimacy and confront unprocessed experiences. He highlights the role of pain and sorrow in personal and collective development, and the importance of meeting problems rather than matching them. Overall, the conversation explores the transformative potential of deep, authentic connections. The conversation explores the concept of intimacy and its significance in relationships. It delves into the challenges and rewards of cultivating intimacy, as well as the cultural barriers that can hinder its development.
Takeaways
The power of being present and witnessing others without trying to change them can create a space for deep connection and transformation.
The shift from an I-It mode of relating to an I-Thou mode allows for a more intimate and authentic encounter with others and the world.
Development and personal growth involve allowing ourselves to meet and confront pain, sorrow, and unprocessed experiences.
Creating conditions for intimacy requires removing obstacles and distancing ourselves from egoic demands and needs.
Meeting problems rather than matching them can lead to more effective and transformative responses. Intimacy requires time and effort to build, and cannot be achieved by simply matching the actions of others.
Developing intimacy can lead to both heightened emotions and a loss of personal stability.
Many people are starved for intimacy, but confusion can arise when someone approaches relationships with openness.
Cultivating intimacy can be countercultural and involve taking risks in environments that prioritize professional distance.
The pressure to conform in professional environments can lead to emotional exclusion and a disconnection from one's true experiences.
Daring to name and express what is often left unspoken can lead to personal growth and transformation.
Deepening intimacy in personal relationships can have a positive impact on professional growth.
Chapters [timecodes are not correct…]
00:00 Introduction and Background
03:15 Personal Journey and Unfoldment
07:13 The Power of Being Present
11:20 The Intersection of Psychology, Relationality, and Philosophy
14:29 The Shift from I-It to I-Thou
19:29 Acceptance and Allowing for Change
22:19 The Notion of Helping
27:40 Martin Buber and Relationality
33:05 Martin Buber's Work: I and Thou
36:10 The Shift from I-It to I-Thou
39:31 Creating Conditions for Intimacy
44:19 Development and Intimacy
50:53 Meeting and Confronting Pain
51:27 The Importance of Intimacy
54:37 Challenges of Intimacy
54:59 Countercultural Approach
00:00 The Pressure to Conform
01:06 Struggling with Authenticity
02:34 Daring to Name the Unnamed
03:52 Deepening Intimacy and Professional Growth
04:18 The Challenge of Overcoming Old Patterns
05:17 The Power of Sharing and Disclosing
07:15 Embracing Discomfort and Edginess
08:13 Development as an Omnidirectional Process
09:24 The Impact of Personal Development on Others
10:26 Recognizing Agency and Avoiding Apathy
11:11 The Unfolding Nature of Change
13:09 Connecting with Alex Carabi